Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter,

Please enjoy being a girl, enjoy being a lady, enjoy being a woman, take joy in being loved and pampered by everyone around you. I have ensured that you will grow up in an atmosphere in which the evils of this world will not be obvious to you until much later in life. The day you were born, I made a choice to move out of the dark abyss of the city to heaven on earth where you can see only the best mankind has to offer until you shed your milk teeth and can crack bones without help. You deserve to be shielded from all the shenanigans of both genders as represented by those who walked this earth before you.

Over the years, I have noticed that ladies seemed afraid or uncomfortable to be ladies. This is a result of some teachings being sold in the halls of many classrooms which seem to slant reality to make it seem like men do not want women to be anything other than slaves and puppets in this world, this is really very untrue. Men do not hate women. Men have mothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, female friends, girlfriends, lovers, wives and so on. Men protect their womenfolk. There are more men who died protecting their wives and children in this world than women who did the same. It is however true historically that women had to fight for a right to be heard and be treated as equals with men. This fight led to cultural revolutions that set the female free to live her life as she wanted and yet even as she makes her own bed now, she is still complaining all the way. She is running for president, sitting free in the courts where life and death decisions are made, sitting among the high and mighty in the business world, heading banking institutions and ruling at will over spaces where she has natural dominion. She flies fighter jets and sits in the cockpit of space ships, she rules the citadels of learning, she rules the homes, she rules some of the religious institutions, she rules the world of entertainment in fashion, music, movies and the creative industry as a whole. She is the voice that determines what we wear, her magazines choose the look that is acceptable in a world she is constantly sculpting to her taste. She decides if she wants children or not, she decides if she wants to be married or not she decides if she wants to take a lover and for how long, she can pick your call today, invite a man to her bed and tomorrow walk away from the same man without as much as a goodbye. She has really come a long way.

There was a time she had no voice in the society. She was given away in marriage or to a nunnery by her father who determines her fate. She was raised to warm the bed of her husband and fill his tummy with food. She was demonized for having sexual freedom and shamed for not keeping her virginity. There was a time she had no say in how the world was run outside of her whispers in the ears of her husband. She was not entitled to own anything or to enter into a valid contract with anyone. Those days are gone now, they can never return. She is free to become whatever she wants to be, free to determine the course of her own life and destiny. She is free! She however is not still happy. Sometimes I think she is just plain confused or makes things up as she goes. She does not want to be sexually objectified by men but she wants to be sexually appreciated by men. Some men know the difference, some don’t. You cannot blame the men for being confused as to what she wants, they are simple folks and most of them don’t read minds. The few that can read female minds can do so only within the boundaries of intimacy and familiarity with the one female with whom they have created a bond. When the rest see a lady’s picture, whether she is fully dressed or nude, they simply unleash their imagination and sometimes say whatever comes to mind, their comments could be nice or nasty. It depends on how their mind works, she however would like to make all their minds work the same way. The day she wanted them to say “beautiful” they must say beautiful and the day she would like them to say “sexy” they must say sexy. Shem has been fighting a battle in this regard, she can’t win it but she can’t help but keep fighting. She wants to be a wife and a mother but she craves her man to be faithful and loyal above all else. The problem is she chooses the man and expects the man to remain chosen exclusively by her. She wanted the right to unchoose him whenever she desired and for him to accept her decisions as best for her. The man however is also a commodity in a fair market, he appreciates being loved and cared for. He wants to have the same deal as the woman, to walk away from entanglements when they are no longer in his Favour. This puzzles the woman she wants to decide if to keep a baby or not keep a baby but the man must have no say either way if she keeps the baby, he must pay her child support in raising the baby. If she decides not to keep the baby, he must accept her decision without any arguments. She must rule and he must submit. She has her money but it is mostly not meant to be spent. She must spend his money otherwise he would be getting sex for free and that would not be fair. The man must pay as long as he is sleeping with her. It is another complex issue she couldn’t quite figure out yet she enjoys the sex too but she must be paid for it by the man either technically or directly. If he is not providing, he is not getting sex, it is all in the wiring. She can however change the rules at any time based on many reasons. She might meet a guy and find herself willing to sleep with him for no reason at all. It is within her right to take on a lover, however, someone must pay and if that guy is not paying, she will have to keep another guy or man who will pay in one way or the other. It is a complex puzzle even she does not understand it fully. She can be as mean to her fellow women as a tiger is to a dog. She will protect her son and brother from women like her but unleash her full wrath on a man she takes as a lover. That had always been a puzzle to me. Her husband cheats on her and the marriage is over, her younger brother cheats and she is championing the reconciliation of the union or blaming his wife. If she cannot have the children, the man is mean if he leaves her in search of another woman who would give him children. She can be a side chick to a married man before she gets married to her husband but her husband dares not have a side chick after he had gotten married to her. If he cannot have a baby, she is smart to leave the union in order to find fulfillment elsewhere. She can take on a lover and give the child she made with that lover to her husband to raise for a lifetime without her husband knowing the child was not his, her husband however cannot bring the child he had with a lover for her to raise without her knowledge. Only she knows who the true father of her children is. She has conquered the world but like Alexander the Great, she is always searching for more to conquer. She has the key to the heart of the man. She rules over him by proxy but she wants more. This woman, the one I described above is not your model in life. She is the model of Cain, the restless one who can find no fulfillment in that which was freely given to him by God. He had to take what belonged to another even though it does not fit him, even though it was useless to him he just took it because he didn’t want his brother to have it. This is not you, the average woman in the world is still fighting for her freedom and she does not want to see that she has won the battle. Even when it is plain obvious for all to see, she is still fighting and she seems unable to know how to stop. Today she is fighting men, tomorrow she is fighting fellow women, next tomorrow she is fighting her children, then she is fighting herself, now she is fighting for men to become women but she does not want the men who became women to use women's bathroom or compete in women sport. When you don’t know when to stop fighting, you invent new enemies both imaginary and real. This is not you. You are Christ, he is the perfect model of a bride and a groom, he accepted what the Father gave him as his lot. He didn’t fight or agitate for more, he was fulfilled in accepting the Father’s will. He was fulfilled in accepting his role as a lamb, he knew His Father’s will was all he needed to fulfill in life and it was good enough for him. Jesus is your model, dear daughter, you grow in Favour with God and men. You equip yourself with knowledge which you will apply in due time as a mark of wisdom. You agree with the Lord on which courses you are to take in life according to the seasons the Lord will bring you into. You will take these courses and you will excel in them as the Lord empowers you. You are more than enough as you are right now, always remember that you have no point to prove to anyone. Just live your life to please the Lord, this is all that is required of you in Christ.
-GSW-