The Seat Filler

The Seat Filler He reached out to her out of the blue. They had known each other for over two years, he spoke to her as a man talks to a woman he wants to have a relationship with. She expressed her shock, she had never considered him as a marital prospect. He was an alpha male surrounded by many females in his own circle. She does not even fit into the picture of his kind of crowd. He was quite ahead of her in many things financially, he was very stable. She knew when his wife died and how much she loved his ex-wife She knew he had mourned for two years She just never expected that she would be the one he would consider for a remarriage she was single, forty years old, and had never been married before.
She was also quite beautiful, and men were always trooping in and out of her life. She said she would like to think about his proposal. He was forty-three, and he needed to get married and put his home in order. His children had been in the care of maids and nannies since his wife died, he didn’t need a wife to babysit or care for the children, but he needed a wife who could instruct the employees and help monitor them while he traveled for work. He told her he would wait patiently for her to make her decision. Two days later, she called him and asked him to run a medical check-up with complete screening of his vitals, and also for sexually transmitted infections. He did the test, and he was squeaky clean. She sent him her results too and she was clean then she asked for his financial statements and investment portfolio he sent them to her. She said she needed to be sure he was not flaunting prosperity while living in debt. She also asked him about his family, would his mother be living with them or how often would she be visiting he told her he had built a house for his mother, and his mother had her own life there. His mother only came into his life to help supervise his children’s minders because he didn’t want to leave the children to total strangers. She asked about his will, would he make one in which what he would give her would be spelled out clearly because he had made his money before meeting her, and she cannot claim they sweated and suffered together to make his wealth. She said she didn’t want to get thrown out on her head and be seen as a gold digger in case something happened to him. He told her he would give her her own inheritance on the day of the wedding, regardless of whether the marriage works out or not. The properties would be in her name, and she would take control of them by herself from the outset, he also told her the richer he got, the more he would add to her assets so that she would not need to share anything with the children or relatives in the main will he had already prepared. She told him she would like to pray about it some more. Two days later, she invited him on a date, he went to the meeting, and they had a very happy and lighthearted discussion. After the date, she told him she came with an UBER and would like to go home with him. He said he does not want to introduce any woman to his children unless he is sure he is marrying the woman, he wants to be a good example to his children and wouldn’t want them to think that hopping from one person to another is acceptable. She said she didn’t intend to go to his house, she was hoping they could go to the hotel and spend the weekend. He asked her why. She said she wanted to be sure he is not some fancy guy in a fancy suit who does not know how to satisfy a woman in bed. It was not how he had played out the scenario in his head, but he felt she was just being pragmatic or thorough, it was her decision to make, and she must have her processes. He obliged her, they spent the weekend in a hotel’s presidential suite, they did everything she wanted until she was satisfied. She asked him about her career, because getting married would mean changing her location, he told her he would give her a driver and her own car to take her to the office daily and bring her back, he also told her he would be giving her the equivalent of her salary every month, while he would do everything in his power to support her career. It was a great weekend, by the time he got to the office on Monday after dropping her off at work, he was sure they would be heading to the altar very soon. He called his father and shared the good news, his father told him something he will never forget. His father said, “This woman is more interested in you than your children. Do you notice how her questions were about you and her future and not one was asked regarding the children? Don’t rejoice or come to any conclusion yet until she meets your children.” It made no sense to him, she was forty years old, and if she wanted children, he was willing to have more children with her, but he felt it was to her advantage that he already had children. She wouldn’t be under any pressure to take in or have children if they got married, and that was very fine by him. The following weekend, she again asked him out on a date, and they stayed in a hotel because she would be closing from work later that Friday and would have to resume back to work early on Monday, plus she was tired and his house was an hour away from her office location. He noticed that she didn’t even ask him how the children were doing or express any desire to meet with them.
She asked him a curious question that night, she said, “Are you marrying me to make a statement? I know I am a very pretty face and easy on the eyes, is that why you want to marry me? So that you can flaunt me everywhere like a trophy wife?” He was shocked. He told her he just wanted to move on from the past and build a better future, it had nothing to do with looks. She asked him why he was not curious about her body count, he seized the opportunity to bring up his children, he said I am a father of four, a widow, and you think I will be concerned with who had slept with you or who you had slept with before you met me? If you wanted to have children, you would be a mother of as many as you desire by now, so who you have slept with is a question for young men, not for a man in his forties. I would be very worried if you were still a virgin at this age. She told him she had been pregnant twice, and she had had abortions because she didn’t want to have children at the time, especially outside of wedlock. He said okay then she went on telling him about her body counts, she said he should think of all the bad things a lady could have done sexually, multiply it by ten, and then double the result, then he could adequately sum up her sexual experiences. He sensed she wanted to see his reaction to her somewhat coloured past, but he didn’t bite, he said, “What was most important were the tests we conducted and the results we got; with that, I am satisfied.” 

On Monday morning, after the weekend they spent together, she said he should have ordered breakfast for her at the office or lunch, other men do that for their babes give them a surprise package at work that speaks of their love and intentionality. He apologised and adjusted. The following week, she invited him to her house, after they left the house she asked him why he didn’t suggest changes like a New TV, a change of her AC, and so on he said, “I assumed we are getting married and you will leave this house soon. Why are you talking like you want me to change your electronics and revamp your rented one-bedroom apartment? I don’t understand. She said she had not agreed to marry him; they were just courting to get to know each other and see how sensitive they both are to each other’s needs. The week went by, the nation had a public holiday covering a Friday and a Monday he invited her to his house to meet his mother, the staff, and most especially the children. She tried very hard to get out of it, but he insisted. When they got home, he realised she was ill at ease. She played the part, smiled where she ought to, and made the right comments, but he saw her aloofness and distance from miles away. He showed her the master bedroom, and she began to settle in while he went to the children’s room to spend some time with them. When he was done, he walked into the master bedroom and saw her crying and talking out loud “Why God? Why does he have children? Why can’t you give me a man like him who can give me everything I want, but without the children?” He tiptoed back to the children’s room and stayed there for a long time. He stayed there until she came looking for him, she spent most of the weekend sleeping and working on some briefs from her office. He played golf, rode his bicycle with the children, took walks with the children, and also took them swimming.

On Monday evening, she packed her things and he took her back to her house. He started shopping for a wife again as soon as he dropped her off. She would call to say hello, and he would pick but he stopped discussing with her the way he was doing before then no more intimate stuff or lovey-dovey stuff, they were back to acquaintances in his book. She asked him out for a date the following weekend, but he told her he was not available. It took him two weeks, but he met another lady, the lady was in her thirties, never married, and they met on a group chat. She was working with a company in the financial sector, they met for a brief meeting. After the meeting, he asked if she could meet with him for lunch the next day, and she agreed. The lady he had been talking with before began to send him all sorts of messages “What did I do wrong?” “Why are you not texting or chatting with me as before?” “Why are you suddenly acting as if you are not interested in marrying me anymore?” He ignored her messages he didn’t want their parting of ways to be about his children, but that was the last straw. He sent her some money for a smart TV, a new Air conditioner, and also some money for her to move the old ones in her house to her mother’s house and fix them there for her mother. He then sent her a message that he had met someone who was ready to marry him without all the delays and time-wasting strategies. She said he was lying; he only wanted to deceive her from the outset “I was on my own before you came to meet me. You said you wanted to marry me, and I have been processing it. I know we have been talking for about two months and a few weeks, but why are you in a hurry? Why should I also rush into a situation I had never envisaged or desired before? To become an automatic mother of children that I didn’t give birth to is a big deal, and it takes time to process. So what is the issue?” The next day, he picked up his children from school, and they all drove to the restaurant for lunch with the new lady he had met. When the lady saw his children, she took them immediately, and they also loved her without any reservation. He observed keenly to be sure the affection was real, they had a glorious lunch, and they all drove to his house to drop the children off.
 As he was driving her home, he said, “Will you marry me?” She looked at him and replied, “Where is the ring?” He drove to the Diamond store and bought her a ring. They got married three months later. 
PS: When Adam saw Eve, he knew she was his kind immediately, he didn’t have to take a chisel and a hammer to make her fit in, she fitted into his life perfectly, all the adjustments we do here and there are mere suppressions. The true nature we hid in order to get the ring will eventually reveal itself after the marriage. Better to be true to yourself and be happy than to insist on slotting a square peg in a round hole. If you are seeing someone and you feel a restraint in your spirit, listen to it even if nothing you can see points to it It is better to walk away from pitfalls than to deal with their effects later. The first lady will meet her own man, whom she will willingly marry and be happy with, he was not the first man to ask for her hand in marriage, and he will not be the last. It is not every door one knocks on that has to open and allow access, some open only to point one to the right address. The man and his children got it right; she became his wife and their mother. The courtship period was almost nil, she moved in as soon as she got the ring, the rest of the time was spent informing family and planning the wedding. The wedding was small and gloriously simple. She who owns the seat shall not stress to sit in it.
 -GSW-