Letter From Aba V

So at this point, I don't know what to do. I said okay, maybe I have to move on with my life. I have been praying regarding the issue. I've prayed and prayed. I'm asking God, what else do I do? What else do I do? Can you speak to your son? He's your son now; speak to him. Let me know what I'm doing with my life.

If I move out of my father's house now, number one, I don't have a steady source of income. The money he's sending will not be, will not even be enough for the children. We are managing it because at least my parents are providing the bulk of the food we're eating here, while I provide, you know, some.

Now, if I move out of here, I don't have a steady source of income. What will I tell my children happened? That means I have, I'm gonna have to tell them, "See what happened between your father and me.” And then again, I'll have to go to the house and pack my things, because our things are there that we brought from the US. I'm not sure I'm willing to let it go and start afresh when I don't even have the money to start afresh. So I will need to go there and pack my stuff. If I go there and pack my stuff, they will still say I'm the one who left my husband's house.

The woman who is supposed to be the mother is not helping with the issues. I've called, I've asked her, "If I were to be your actual daughter, is this what you, we, is this your stand?" Because she told me that she stands with my husband. "So if I were to be your daughter, will this be your stand?" I'm wondering whether she is trying to make my husband marry the daughter? Since they started having emotional entanglement, at this point, I don't know what to do.

My children, who are being home-schooled, all this while you've not asked this person who is teaching them, how is she emotionally able to still teach? You don't care. Now I will have to register the children in school if I'm moving out from here, so that they can, you know, go to school while I go and look for job and find a source of, a stable source of income.

If I can get online clients to teach, I will be, you know, that will be very wonderful. I can combine it with the home schooling. Home schooling is something that I've been doing for how many years now? For about seven years now. And I've seen it working. There is no perfect, the secular school system is not perfect, but this homeschooling has been much better, you know, in helping me raise the children to the standard I want, with the spiritual, everything that I want. And this is something that I have laid down my life to do.

So at this point, inasmuch as I'm not willing to put them back in school, maybe that's the only option I have if I don't see clients.

So, sir, my worry now is what do I do? My parents are aged. My dad is 87 this year. They are worried. I, how you, I don't want them to die of high BP because of me. I don't know if I should move out if they will, because they are telling me I should go back to my marriage. I now ask them, "Is it because of what people will say that you want me to go back? What if I go back there and die? How will you feel?" That's how the issue of going back has died down.

Now I want to leave their sight so that they will not see my children and me every day and pity us every day. I don't want to be a pity, a case study of pity, you know? But I don't know, I've been working with this person for how many years. I'm wondering, is this a spell? Is this him? I've prayed, "God, remove whatever," I've done warfare. I don't know what else to do.

He is not saying he wants a divorce. And I'm not ready to be a single mother of three children. Neither am I willing to go and drop the children off for him. Because I already had a dream where I, um, I left the children for him, and then I came back, and my son was dead and buried, and he did not tell me. And he was even laughing about the whole situation.

So I'm worried about what to do with my life at this point. I'm 36 this year. I've left school for how many years? So finding a job is not easy. It's been more than 10 years since I left school. I left school in 2012. I've not had any other, um, education, proper education. I've, I've gotten only just two certificates or thereabout, you know, that, for my online teaching stuff. And then I got a certificate for a virtual assistant. I didn't get a certificate, but I learned, you know, I did a class on virtual assistant. That's the only academic achievement I've had all this time.

Where do I even get a job? Where do I go? Do I move back to the house in that situation? Apart from the physical house situation now, the emotional trauma, the, you know, mental trauma I'm going through in that house is not wise for me now to go back there again. Since the woman who is mostly the backbencher of this issue is not even helping matters. On the woman's birthday, he went to the woman's house to celebrate her birthday. But the daughter that did birthday in February did not even care to come. He didn't even care to come. And the children have been asking him, "When am I, when are we coming back, when are we coming back?" Nothing.

So at this point, sir, I don't know what to do, o. I don't know what to do. I don't know. I really don't know what to do. But I want to move on. I've been stagnant. Ah, this is not the plan I had for myself in 2026. I want to go back to school. But I can't go and get a PGD because I did not have credit in math, even though it was the same WAEC I used to get my degree, my bachelor’s; they said I can't use it for masters. So I have to go and write GCE. And I cannot write GCE until November this year.

So am I just gonna stay here and wait for one man to make a decision whether I'm coming back or not? I'm trying to forge ahead, but it's as though every door... if I get a client today, tomorrow the client is gone. If I get another one tomorrow... I've asked people, "Okay, give me reviews. Is it that I'm not teaching it?" "No," everybody says, I'm teaching it. "So why are you not coming back? You know, you do three classes, then you go. What's going on?" "Oh, um, they are busy," just one excuse or the other.

I don't know what else to do, sir. So I'm asking for... I don't know if it's counseling, or advice, or prayer, or whatever. I don't have friends. Everybody feels I'm strong. "Oh, you're taking this whole thing," you know. But I'm, I'm dying inside of me. Yesterday I was, I didn't know what was wrong with me. I felt like I had this; my heart was so heavy. I was feeling very sick. I know I'm not sick, but I also know I'm not well. Sometimes, some days are really worse. I can barely stand up from the bed because of the emotional stress.

I'm, I just don't know what to do, sir. So that's why I'm, I'm, I needed someone to speak with, and that's, I, I, why I'm, you know, asking for help. Whenever you, you can come in, please, sir, whether it’s instruction, whatever, I just need to know what to do with my life now. I can't just go back there without a solution. And I don't want to go back and beg him. You know, if I beg him, he says, "Okay, I've heard, come back," you know how the heart of man is, I will receive worse than what I received.

So, sir, what do you advise I do? Please help me. Thank you very much, and again, I am very sorry this takes, this took this long. I was only trying to put into detail, you know, what I've been going through all these years and these couple of months. Thank you very much, sir. God bless you.

The END