A Fresh Start

It started while they were in secondary 
school
 It was not a relationship as such 
It was more of a coming together 
An emotional convergence 
She filled out quickly and had the 
features 
of a fifteen-year-old at twelve 
It made her self conscious 
And attracted the attention of some 
older guys
Of course, they wanted to sleep with 
her for the fun of it 
They were living in Ile-Ife 
Her father was a chartered accountant 
Her father built their house in one of 
the new estates on the outskirts of the city 
They didn't have many neighbours and
the silence of the nights was scary
She was the fifth of six children 
She had three elder brothers 
One elder sister and a younger sister 
Her mummy was a nurse 
Her parents were devout Christians 
They were also very strict 
Her mother especially was aware of 
the dangers of exposing to the world 
too early 
She had the body of an adult but she 
was still a child! 
He was a very brilliant guy 
He came to their school when 
they were in SS1 
She was already feeling more confident 
and comfortable with her body at the 
time 
The other girls were starting to fill out too 
and the starring eyes were not on her alone! 
They had a nickname for her 
The mean boys of her class 
They called her "Tolotolo" 
Because of her body 
They had called her the name since she 
was in Junior high school 
It made her cry at first 
She hated it 
But she coped and at a point realized 
it didn't hurt as much as she
Used to! 
But when he joined the school, the name 
suddenly mattered! 
She didn't want anybody to call him 
that name around him! 
They weren't even friends at the time 
He was just the new brilliant guy and 
she didn't want him seeing her through 
their eyes 
He sat beside her one day
One of the other guys seated 
at the back shouted "Tolotolo" 
She didn't know what came over her 
She jumped to her feet and started 
cursing anybody who dare call her 
by that name 
She had never reacted before 
The whole class was stunned 
When she was done, she was still fuming 
He smiled and told her to calm down 
That was the moment she liked him 
They became fast friends 
She invited him to her church and he came 
He even joined the church and became one 
of the executives of the youth fellowship 
They were in love 
They exchanged letters and nursed 
the dream
Of a glorious future together! 
He gained admission into the university 
to study medicine 
She gained admission into the University 
to study Law 
Finally, they were together more physically 
They weren't having sex yet 
But they were a couple and their future 
was set in stone
When she got to 200 level 
There was an assignment they had to do 
A group project 
The project leader wasn't serious
She was determined not to fail the course 
After three days of not seeing him in class 
She decided to check him in the staff quarters 
he was living in It was a mistake!
She walked right into the lion's den 
It was as if they had been praying a lady 
would show up 
Two of them were behind the door 
The guy he wanted to see was lying on 
the bed as if he was sick 
When she opened the door, she saw 
him lying there 
She called his name and stepped 
into the room! 
The ones behind the door locked it 
One of them had a knife 
She begged and pleaded 
They were too high on drugs to care 
They raped her

It was a Tuesday, 
it lasted from around 11AM till 1pm 
When they were done 
She sat there crying 
She cried for hours 
It was the day of darkness
She had the option of keeping quiet 
or reporting to the school authority 
She weighed the option 
She went straight to the school's clinic 
From the clinic the security people 
were alerted 
The rapists were arrested 
She was in the hospital for three days 
Everybody heard 
She was news!
He came around and showed her 
some support 
But somehow he started losing interest 
in her 
At first he would go off to read alone 
and when she asked him why he didn't 
come for her, he would say that he 
assumed she was sleeping or resting 
Later, he said "he wanted to study alone"
She was practically pushing herself on him 
She knew this 
She hated it 
When she told him he changed after the 
incident 
He said "What do you think? 
Because everybody was acting as if you 
were the victim right? 
Was I suppose to pat foolishness on the 
back? You went off to a deserted
quarters alone and got raped! 
I cannot trust your judgement 
I cannot trust your decision-making process 
And I cannot condone foolishness" 
It was like the sting of a scorpion 
His words hurt her more than the rape 
She had successfully maneuvered the 
world of men since she was a child! 
She didnt know how and why she made 
the foolish decision to go to the quarters 
alone! 
She didnt even know why she didnt keep 
quiet afterward! 
Everything she did that day was unlike her 
And it had cost her his respect and love 
She knew it was over 
The relationship was laid to rest that day! 
That was the last meaningful relationship
she had! 
Somewhere in her mind she developed a fear 
and hatred of men 
All men including her siblings 
She wore a strong exterior but she was 
badly traumatized! 
Other guys came sniffing around for a 
relationship! '
She just found a way to keep them at 
arms length! 
Some tried really hard 
She slept with such and walked away 
She would sleep with a guy if he put 
in the effort but she would walk away 
afterward 
She couldn't do any emotional engagement 
Love was a scam and she was its victim! 
She graduated and got a job 
siblings started getting married one 
after the other 
She couldn't hold down a relationship 
Funny enough, she always met good men 
with honorable intentions 
She just couldn't cope! 
At thirty she became depressed
 Life held no meaning whatsoever
She lost hope in God after the rape 
God abandoned her at the worst 
possible time 
She started contemplating suicide 
Making only short term plans and 
writing a suicide journal! 
Then she read @GbengaWemimo's thread! 
A thread about a lady naped by 17 guys 
Wow! The lady married one of her rapists 
eventually! 
She even had children for him! 
She couldn't believe it! 
How strong that lady must be psychologically 
She reached out to GSW 
They talked 
She met the lady 
She was shocked at the similarity of their 
experiences 
She asked for help! 
The Holy Spirit obliged her! 
She accepted the Lord Jesus as her Lord
 and savior 11 years after she was raped 
The healing process began 
She was filled with the Holy Ghost and 
became a new creature 
The shackles of the past were dropped 
through prayer and counseling 
She became lighter and decided to live
In January 2018, at an event on the 
Lagos Island she met a believer 
He was seeking a lawyer to help register 
his company 
She worked with him 
They worked well together 
She helped him set up his company 
They became friends 
He was based in Japan 
He intended to dabble into the
Importing and exporting business 
After one year of friendship 
Mostly on the phone 
(he was in Japan for most of that year) 
He returned home permanently 
He proposed 
She said yes! 
By October 2019 
They got married 
The pains of the past were erased completely 
She got a brand new start