Change And The Gospel

Change requires deliberate affirmative conditioning on the part of the changer, first is to identify that a particular reaction to stimuli, behavior, or course of action is wrong and ought not to be.

The second thing is to accept that this particular behavior is being exhibited by him or her naturally or by default (Not making excuses or trying to say someone else is to blame for it)

Third is to speak forth by positive affirmation and talking sessions to himself or herself declaring the change he or she wants to see over and over again in the place of fellowship with the Holy Spirit

Fourth is deliberately choosing another reaction to stimuli or behavioral method that is better and more acceptable to him or her as a child of God and practicing this over and over again as a default

Fifth is accepting that as long as this is the direction he or she has decided to go, there may be a slip into old patterns here or there initially as this new mode of behavior settles in but one must be determined not to throw in the towel and say, "It is what it is", if people cannot accept me this way, they should walk away, I cannot change who I am, or, take me as I am."

Sixth is reading the Bible out loud every day for at least thirty minutes consistently (I recommend an hour) and praying in the Holy Ghost constantly too (Not in a religious manner or because, “If I don’t pray the devil will mess me up” as sung by a very uninformed singer in the religious circle) but because praying in the Holy Spirit helps to edit and alter our natural inclinations by substituting the fruits of the flesh for the fruits of the spirit effortlessly (this is the internal workings of the Spirit upon the believer) while the external workings are made evident through the laying on of hands, declarations, demonstrations of the abilities of the Spirit and so on

Because many believers do not pay attention to the Holy Spirit's ability to change internally, they focus more on the external aspect of the anointing and at the end of the day wonder why it seems they do not get better in their inward parts and the changing of their realities and conditioning but seem to be having some forms of result in the external aspect of dispensing the realities of the Spirit

In other words, this believer prophesies but she also cannot stop stealing or he prophesies but he cannot stop flying off the handle in a fit of anger... We see this often in the lives of many believers in their formative stages as baby Christians

These habits can be edited out of their system if they pay attention to it by the word and are determined to turn such around but many leave it and as such grow with it, this then sullies their testimonies and limits their growth in every aspect of life

For example, there are two ladies whom I know personally

Both of them have serious insecurity issues and jealousy as a natural trait

They both knew they had serious jealousy streaks and insecurity issues in their early twenties while they were both single

Both are well-educated and beautiful

They both got married and over time their insecurity issues and jealousy caused serious harm to them and their marriages

Their husbands walked away from the marriages because they both physically assaulted their husbands in a fit of jealousy

One took a knife and had to be wrestled down by strangers who delivered her husband out of her hands while it took police intervention for the other not to murder her husband over a phone call he received in the middle of the night which she felt was from another woman (Turned out it was from the hospital where he worked as a doctor)

The two women came determined to restore their marriages and win over the affections of their husbands again

By this time both husbands had left the marriage vitally- the husband of the first woman had started dating another woman openly, upon the advice of his friends that the cure to jealousy is to marry a second wife and put the woman in her place

The husband of the second woman had abandoned the marriage and started sleeping in the hospital instead of returning home whenever he was done with his shift

The two women are born-again Christians, they wanted supernatural intervention in their marriages but as it is typical of many of us, we will accept our wrong but we will then say, "This is who I am and there is nothing I can do about it"

That, "Take me as I am" syndrome

The funny thing is, those who insist you take them as they are never want to take others as they are! They demand change from others and are always talking about red flags and red banners but they consider their issues to be easy to surmount

Many women I have met believe somehow that they can share a bed with a man without having sex with him but they do not believe that their boyfriends or husbands can share a bed with another woman without sleeping with her

I notice these things and wonder how we can ever get better as believers if we hold on to our bad behaviors by saying they are under control but putting our mouths in other people's bad behaviors and trying to make them change

Change starts with self

You turn that searchlight inwards and blind yourself to the fault of others

When you determine to change, you don't do so with the mindset of, "I am doing this for him, or I am sacrificing my time doing this for her" You do it for yourself

Making yourself a better person should be a lifetime goal

improving upon yourself every year and every season deliberately should be the norm

The two ladies were advised to work on themselves first even though they were looking for quick fixes to their marriage issues, I knew a miracle was not enough

If you don’t fix the root cause of a problem, whatever solution you may provide will be very temporary in the long run

They both started working on themselves while also praying for their husbands and making moves to show they acknowledged their wrongdoing and were willing to change

As expected, both husbands didn't react the same way

One saw the wife's change in attitude as "That is what she always does"

The other didn't react either way

Four months into the journey of restoration, the first woman was walking out of the mall when she came face to face with her husband's "girlfriend"

She knew immediately that it was a setup

She said she just knew her husband was naturally a quiet person and would avoid confrontations at all cost

He knew she shopped in that mall every first Friday of the month like clockwork

To meet the "side chick" would not be a coincidence

She kept her head high and walked by this "side chick"

Then the lady proceeded to greet her. Wow!

The lady said, "Good morning, senior wife" but she didn't answer her, she just kept walking. She took her time to shop. She was angry but did not show any chinks in her armor. She felt it was a joke taken too far by her husband

When she got home, she met her husband at home

He waited for her to get into the house before telling her that he was at the mall and her reaction convinced him she had gained a level of emotional intelligence. Glory!

Marriage happily restored

Four months into the restoration journey, the other lady got tired, "I am not going to wait forever for any man. I am tired of praying. I do not want the marriage anymore. I have accepted that he does not love me because love covers a multitude of wrongs. It is true that I stabbed him and injured him but didn't he also cause me emotional injury by taking the calls he took at odd times when he should be at home with his wife? What if he is a doctor? Don't we have other doctors who practice and have boundaries? Only God knows what he is doing with the nurses all these while I have been praying. If he loves me, he will accept me for who I am and make peace with it.”

Then she took a step of faith by filing for divorce

She didn’t want to divorce him

She wanted the document to jolt him back to reality and bring him back to her on his knees

He must see that he is losing something precious and she knew he hated divorce because he is a believer

She was going to motivate him to do the right thing by doing the wrong thing Doing evil that good may come

It backfired

The husband got a lawyer and bought into the divorce with all his might

She realized things had gone south and started calling friends, relatives, and pastors to intervene Alas, Humpty had Dumptied

The marriage came crashing down in a blaze of fire

She would later blame it on evil spirits and demons, "I know she was not in his right senses, there is a power at work in him. There was a stranger in my marriage, a strange woman pulling the string somewhere."

All sorts of excuses and blame trading

It was a typical behavioral pattern for the wrongdoer to slant reality in such a manner that even though he or she did wrong, he or she cannot accept the fault gracefully and change!

PS: As we go into 2024, work on yourself If you notice you have a habit of putting your mouth in other people's businesses by default, edit it out of your system If you are drawn to bickering, fights, fault-finding, OCD, anger, malice, jealousy, and strife by default, please edit it out of your behavioral pattern

You are born again now, please learn how to be full of grace and truth

If you have a pattern of behavior when you were an unbeliever and you still have the same pattern of behavior as a believer it means you have neglected the inner workings of the Holy Spirit in your life and focused only on the external manifestations

You might just find yourself in one spot, unable to move forward because you have become stuck in the mud of your own neglect.

Please work on it

-GSW-