Children First

I went to preach at New Covenant Church, Iyana Church in 2019 December
During the ministration, I mentioned passingly that I graduated from Bowen University
After the service, the pastor called me aside and asked if I would spare a minute to speak with a woman
I said, 'Okay.'
The woman said she left her marriage over twenty years ago
She didn't tell me why she left or what happened between her and her husband
But she said she left two children behind in the process
A boy and a girl
She said her ex-husband moved out of the house where they lived out of spite
All the attempts she made to get in contact with the children since she left were futile
His family refused to disclose his location
He changed jobs, changed the church he was attending, and simply disappeared without a trace
She had been searching for her own children for twenty years!
She said the last information she had was that the children attended Bowen University
She mentioned their names and asked me if I knew them or had a way to contact them
This woman was a weary and sad soul

Why would anyone do this to another person out of spite
You decided to shut out your wife or husband from being in their own children's lives
No matter what issues you had with the person, unless the person is mentally unstable, abusive or the devil
You should not treat an ex-husband or wife that way just to spite them or make a point.
You sing gospel songs; it ministers to all of us
You preach the gospel; it ministers to all of us
You are a prayer leader; we all see you and thank God for you
You and your spouse have a turbulent marriage
You get a divorce (You are neither the first nor the last)
You get all bitter about it, and you feed your children all sorts of poison against their father or their mother
You wallow in this bitterness and damage the children for the coming generation
You then take ill and die
Your children are supposed to turn to their father or mother now for support, but in your shortsightedness and selfishness, you didn't consider their future
Your family, too, didn't consider the future of the children
They take sides with you and use the pain of your death as a cudgel to drive a wedge between the children and their father
Your son speaks ill of his own father at your funeral
Your daughter was not allowed to have a moment with her own father
The only parent your children have left is now their mortal enemy
They will go through life carrying the pain of your failed marriage instead of healing from it
They will not be able to have meaningful relationships because you have poisoned their minds
You ruined your own children's future
They will struggle with giving and receiving love
They will view the opposite sex with suspicion and practice defensive love with anybody who dares to care for them
You have done this with your myopia
You have failed to contain your pain and contaminated your fruits
I feel so sorry for you

PS: A bad husband could be a wonderful father, and a bad wife could be a wonderful mother
Allowing your hurt to spill so wildly that it contaminates your children's destiny is not acceptable
The children of that man will forever wonder what it means to have a mother, and that sense of abandonment could ruin them in terms of marriage and relationships in the future.
We don't pray for a divorce, but if it happened, it should not rob us of our good sense
Children need both parents to thrive and for balance
No matter how hurt you may be
Please think of what is best for the children always

-GSW-