God said What?

Some years ago, I met a lady. We became friends to the point that I started thinking of getting married to her. Then I went with her to meet her parents. Her mother started talking about her character.
"She is a good girl, focused, well-raised, praised in her company where she started working at the age of 18...It was all glorious until her mother said, "Once in a while, she gets into her melancholic state and may want to be by herself for some time.
Just like me, I sometimes get this depression, but it is a fleeting thing; it passes. All you need to do is leave her be at that time and let her find her way back to the light.
You know, it is murky water, what we call the mind, and sometimes one finds himself or herself in a very dark place. So if you notice she drew the curtains, shut out the light, and locked herself in, don't panic. She is going through a process. Once she comes out of it or shakes it off, she will be fully back to herself."

I listened to her with a smile on my face. I was nodding as she was speaking. She did not know I was a child of elders. She was packaging mental illness for me to spend my future with. Hereditary, one at that.

After that meeting, I stylishly went cold on the relationship until she moved on.
A year later, an old schoolmate of mine reached out to me
He said he met a babe, he was dating her, and she told him she had a friend who also attended Bowen University
He wanted to know if the babe was a good girl and worthy of buying a ring for
I asked him if he had met her mother. He said he had not.
I said, "When you meet her mother, she will give you a caveat; it will be subtle, but she will give it because she is anticipating some developments in the future, and she would like to be able to say you had full disclosure.

Listen to that caveat and make your decision only after that.
A few months later, I got a wedding invitation from the two of them
They were getting married.
Awesome.
A few months after they got married, she suddenly went berserk and hit him on the head with a pestle
How he didn't die was by divine intervention.

When he was at the hospital after this event, I went to check up on him
He said, "She would sometimes be staring into space absentmindedly, and he dare not disturb her reverie at such a time.
He said she would sometimes lock herself in the room, in pitch darkness during the day, and he dared not disturb her at such a time.
He said she would often get into unprovoked fights at work, but they all knew she was not okay, so they usually let it be.
He said she would sometimes get provoked over a small issue, and she would destroy things, throw things, and go violent
He showed me marks on his chest where she had clawed him with her fixed nails and drawn blood.
He said all the neighbours were scared of her; she believed they were witches, wizards, monitoring spirits looking at her and monitoring her life, and picked a fight with all of them at random
She forbade him from opening the windows or parting the curtains of the house because of all the imaginary enemies that were after them.

I said, "Did I not tell you not to marry this lady without doing your due diligence?
Did I not tell you to pay attention to her mother's caveat when you meet her?

He said, "I had prayed and God said she was the one"

I am laughing as I type this

You allowed "God said" to convince you to marry a mentally unstable person despite seeing all the signs that her mental illness is hereditary?

Did you consider your children? That they might develop the problem later because you lied to yourself that God told you she is the one?

They eventually parted ways a few months after he was discharged from the hospital when she poured hot water on him right from the gas cooker.

His saving grace was that his mother had poured out the boiling water to use to bathe the baby and had just poured another set of cold water in the pot.

She did it out of anger, right in the presence of his mother.

At that point, her mother stylishly carried the baby away, and he also left home for her

The lady is on Instagram daily ranting about men being toxic and how her husband abandoned her etc.

See, when it is your turn to get married, don't do your due diligence
Turn God to INTERPOL and Private Investigator, ignore all the red flags and the signs of looming tragedy. Hide behind Psalm 23 and Psalm 91
Marry a mad person because he or she carries Bible, is in a department in church and does not dress seductively.
Or marry the one that has displayed unhealthy hatred for all men on her social media for the world to see long before you met her
Or marry the one dancing naked in the name of content creation and my body my madness ideology.

In the Bible, the elders at the city gate were the ones who handled marital affairs
You never see a prophet in the Bible asking God who should marry whom or telling anybody to marry somebody because God said so.

The reason the elders handled marital issues is that they are custodians of history and tradition. They know every family, and they investigate every family.
They are the ones who determine if a bride or groom is suitable for each other.

All the "God told me or God showed me" deceit going on in the name of being born again and able to hear from the Holy Spirit cannot be substantiated from the Bible.

When you want to get married, do your investigations. Ask questions. Do the men in this family work? Do their parents allow them to leave the family house, or do they marry into the family house? How do they treat their in-laws? What is their temper like? In what condition did they raise the child you want to get married to?
Don't play Russian roulette with your life by marrying based on luck or on "God told me".

Remember that the doctrine of your church will most likely forbid divorce.
Even if you can get a divorce, remember that she or he might have children with you, and bad genes can be passed on.

Don't ruin your future because of sentiments and feelings.

I know people with bad genes deserved to be loved, too. It is not their fault that they are how they are, and one should not stigmatize them

You, however, don't have to be the one to serve as a sacrificial lamb in the name of "God said".

PS: If you have ever dated or been married to a mentally unstable person before, you will know that "God said" does not cure madness.

-GSW-