The Noose

As young minister

He often wondered why some pastor’s wife were that way

Fighting demons and chasing ghosts all their lives

The good that the Lord had laid in the heart of their husband

They would strive to keep him from doing out of selfishness

They become the official ghost hunters of their husband’s ministry

They give their husbands thorns at every turn

When everybody says how kind hearted their husband is

They will say “You are not the one living with him”

When people say “His sermon was a blessing”

They will say “Have you heard so and so preaching?

What sermon preaches this one?”

It seemed as if their husband’s success was a threat to them

They say “If we don’t tell him the truth, nobody else will”

If he preaches and the anointing flows

They are the only ones who would notice his grammatical flaw

While others are growing spiritually around them

The wife would remain the Lilliputian

The accuser’s voice

“Sensing danger”

“Seeing demons”

“Instigating, complaining, crying over nonsense”

When they were going to get married

He told him clearly

Are you sure she is prepared for ministry?

He said he was sure

He asked her

“Sister, your husband is a pastor in the making, do you know this?”

She said yes!

“Do you understand ministry would require him to work like the essential services unit? He could be called upon at anytime by anybody for ministrations. Do you think you can cope?”

“Yes, I can” she said

But less than a month into the wedding, the story changed

He was supposed to leave the church immediately after service, why were people always queuing up to see him after service?

“We have prayed during service, people should have enough faith to go home and trust God!”

“I see the way that girl was looking at you during service, while you were preaching, she has hot pants for you! You have to keep away from her! You shouldn’t encourage such ladies to come near you”

“Do you think you can stand if such a lady strip naked in front of you? I tell you all these anointing chasers have ulterior motives”

He couldn’t believe it!

Where was the angelic beauty he married?

Where was the ornament of a quiet and gentle spirit?

He tried to reason with her?

“Without people, my life, my purpose, my destiny, is over! The people you keep accusing of all sorts are the reason I was called into ministry. I wasn’t called to minister to trees and animals! Jesus said those who are well do not need physicians, If they come looking for me, it is a testament of how much God has entrusted me with grace to minister unto them”

She: I am not saying you shouldn’t minister to people. I have listened to many messages by senior pastors all over the world. A woman went to hide in Archbishop Benson Idahosa’s wardrobe when he went to the USA. If not for the anointing that man commands his ministry would have been ruined! I am warning you for your own sake.

Do you remember one woman used to follow Pastor Adeboye all over the world claiming she was his wife. If not for the anointing, that woman wanted to ruin him!

I keep telling you to keep away from ministering to women. I will not have it. I will never accept it! I will not sit down and allow you turn me to one pastor’s wife who had to finally divorce him after years of neglect. In the name of ministry, he put his wife in London, while he globetrotted for many years. If you are not careful, that is how your story will end

He: Why are you like this? Why do you give me so much sorrow? You have a good job. You consult for many companies all over the world. Have I ever even for one moment tried to stop you from fulfilling your destiny and getting to the top of your career? Have I ever insinuated that you are not trustworthy or foolish enough to sleep with anybody who cared enough to ask?

She: I have never given you any reason to distrust me

He: And I have?

She: Swear you have never ever slept with another woman since we got married

He: I swear it before God, I have never ever done anything like that

She: Well…well…even if you have not. You keep encouraging those ladies who come near you and I assure you it will eventually happen

He: This has got to stop!

She: I am crying my heart out everyday because of you. You know I am very jealous by nature and you keep aggravating my jealous nature by not distancing yourself from your teeming female parishioners and followers

He: When I was ministering in a parish of 50 members, this was your song. Now fifteen years later, I am ministering to a parish of one thousand members and you still wouldn’t give yourself peace of mind! I am tired of it

She: What do you want to do? Am I the one that has a ministry? Whose ministry would get destroyed if this marriage scatters? Who stands to lose the most? See, everything you have worked for these last twenty years or so will go down the drain if you don’t sit up and do what I am telling you

And therein lies the heart of the matter

His wife has turned his joy into a snare

He was called into ministry divinely at the age of twenty

He didn’t hesitate as soon as he got the call

He went into the seminary and got all his qualifications

Marriage was a must before he could be ordained

He prayed and waited

He asked the tough questions!

She was all nice and warm and congenial to his parishioners before they got married!

Some ladies in his parish who were nursing the hope that he would marry them left because he brought her in from another church

He didn’t notice a jut of jealousy in her

They courted for eighteen months!

They went everywhere, met a lot of people, she didn’t slip for a second

And now she was practically telling him to his face

“She would ruin his life work”

He didn’t say anything

The next day he went to the mission’s office and tendered his resignation

She was shocked to the marrow when she heard it

They had been married for fifteen years and she had always acted as his watchdog

There was nothing she said the previous day that was worse than the other exchanges they had in the past

He had always bounced back from their face-off encounters

But to take such a rash decision

She tried calling him

He didn’t pick

He eventually returned home that night

She went to meet him

What have you done?

Why have you done it?

He looked at her and smiled

I am starting my own ministry

I am starting it without you

You have a right to pick any church of your choice to attend

You are no longer welcome in my place of work

Just as I cannot come to your office to cause commotion or disturb you over who you talk to or who talks to you

You no longer have any right to come into my work space and spew your opinion

If you want the marriage, you are welcome to stay

If you don’t want the marriage, you are free to walk away

I am not required to be married any longer

I am now my own boss and I am accountable only to God!

Thank you!

WOW!

He had robbed her of her hangman’s noose over his head

She weighed her options

She stayed

For the first three years

He refused to acknowledge her presence in his ministry

Whenever she comes to his church for service

He treats her like any other parishioner

She didn’t like it

But what option did she have

She still had reservations about some ladies flocking to his office for counselling

But she kept her reservations to herself

Things improved gradually after then

Its been five years since he started his own ministry

She still isn’t officially on the altar as “Pastor’s wife”

But he makes references to her positive impact in his ministry often

This gives her hope!