Lost

She sounded very excited on the 
phone
She called to say Happy Birthday
She called a day after the birthday
She said she saw the whole world
jumped on his timeline on his
birthday
A lot of people thought warmly
of him
She didn't want to join the crowd
Plus she wanted to be special
She had always held a very
special spot in his heart
They got talking
Between the two of them 
there were no secrets
He knew her a bit more
than many did
Not carnally but a bit more
They had become friends after
she reached out to him out
of the blue one day
She thought he would ignore
her
He responded
She was the one with the
alabaster box
She knew her God
She had received great prophecies
She was spirit filled
She was a fellowship leader once
She had a strong walk with
the Holy Spirit
But then life came calling
She was 19 when she fell in
love for the first time
He was in his final year and she
was a fresh student
It didn't make any sense to
get hitched to a guy on his way 
out of the university
But that has always been her
dilema
She had always been drawn to
older guys
It was how the world she grew
up in was tailored
Her father was way older than
her mother
Her father was the best example
of a father and husband she
ever knew
He had the maturity and the 
patince to love and nurture her
mother
He had the heart to raise his
children and give them the best
The home she grew up in
was the best
It was when she was ten years
old that she realised her father 
had once been married to
a woman closer to his age!
The marriage was a disaster
Her father prayed and begged
God to get him out of the misery
God heard him
The woman filed for divorce and
left him for an older man
That was what solidified her
conviction
She had always been way more
wiser than her age
She made her choices carefully
The problem was the conflict
between idealism and reality
She wanted an older guy who
is rich enough to meet her needs
and patient enough to let her
be independent
Just like her father
The problem is obvious
Most of the older guys are married
The ones that are not married
are divorced
The ones that are not married
are not rich enough
The ones that are rich enough are
not rich
While she waited for the right
guy
Biology cannot be suspended
She needed an occassional
hug and kiss and "plunging"
So she deviced a plan
So as not to become a "prostitute"
She wouldn't sleep with anybody
for money
She would have sex with
anyone she fancied enough
and wanted for herself
She would choose whoever
it is
There will be no oral sex
She would never sleep with
anyone without protection
She would keep the circle
of those she slept with small!
(She didn't want to be faithful
to one person unless she was
sure she would be married to
the person)
It was a weird way of thinking
but she convinced herself
wisdom has spoken
She was an independent lady
from a well to do background
She didn't need a man
but for the biological demand
and she wanted to avoid drama
at all cost
She could have gotten married
if she wanted to
She had met men who wanted
to marry her as their second
or third wife but she declined
She was sure she would meet
that "Mr Perfect"
So she lived her life
Professionally she had a good job
and kept herself diligent
Socially she kept herself relevant
she clubbed and partied and
had fun
Religiously, she attended church
and did her bit whenever she
was in the mood
She preferred to muse with God
and remind Him of his promises
when things are not going as she expected
She kept her word to herself
Recycling sex partners and
avoiding emotional commitments
while she waited for God to
come through for her
That was where she was when
she met with him
He couldn't believe it
A "born again" christian who
had eveolved her "own" policy
of coping with life outside
of the Word of God!
She had convinced herself of
how sensible and wise she
was that she didn't see it
as a big deal
She was the first to admit she
was a sinner but what wiill be
the point of admitting you are
a sinner when you have no plan
of changing your way or turning
away from your sin?
She told him she cannot accept
the theology of Grace and the
forgiveness of all sins in Christ
because that would mean she
was taking the grace of God for
granted
So she stuck with "I am a sinner"
routine and she continued to
sin according to her profession
and beliefs
Whenever she called him
They would talk about life
She treated him life her priest
The one to whom she confessed
all her sins to
At the beginning he would
offer her advise and even
pray with her
But he later realised something
She was enjoying it
She enjoyed telling him the
sordid details of her adventures
with men just so that she can
somehow unburden
Gradually, the glow in her fainted
She lost ground on reality
She began to rationalize her
wrong choices
She started claiming "married"
men belonged to nobody
"Nobodyu belonged to anybody"
And she started sleeping with
those who wanted to have
a "no drama" relationship with 
her 
She chose the ones that offered
her "Prime sexual experience"
and was virtually gushing about 
it!
She was such a wise girl
Life lost it's essence and true
meaning for her
It became about pleasure
and self and morbidity
And she didn't see
She couldn't see
She had persuaded reason
to interprete reality upsidedown
Reason was doing a good job
She was like a cockerel
Strutting and cockling about
with it's wings widespread
a day before Christmas
Not paying attention to the
Christmas songs and the 
decorations
Not paying attention to the
pepper and the onion and
the vegetable oil
Not paying attention to the
cooking rice and the boiling
water
And later screaming "Help,
Help, Help" when it was
grabbed and stretched as the
knife touches its throat
"God, please, I repent!" it screamed 
He told her as much
He couldn't believe how
far from the light she had
strayed and how come she
didn't even see it
She was practically boasting
about her exploits and acting
as if it was okay to be as she
was
It was an exhibition shame
and a rebrobate reality
He told her if she was going
to be a wallow in the mud, 
she doesn't have to be a 
choosy pig
She didn't get the message
She just laughed it off and
said "it is not her fault if she
had people willing to sleep
with her at her beck and call"
When she rang off, he took
some time to pray for her
She might not see herself
as most people couldn't
but he could see that she
had cut loose her anchor
and drifted far far from 
safety!
His only hope is that she
would see and catches herself
in time before she got off the
cliff

PS: It is easy to drift
C.S. Lewis says nobody 
leaves the Lord and the 
Love of the things
of the spirit in an instant
It is always gradual
We should therefore beware
and be on guard lest we
persuade ourselves out of
His plan for our lives!

GSW's Notes: I weep!
Please join me in praying for
our brothers and sisters
who seem to be falling away
Pray for those who have
rediscovered their appetite
for the things of the flesh
and for those who have 
found themselves lost in 
the winds of the reality they
created for themselves!
May the Lord restore them
quickly in Jesus name. Amen