SEX, Sexuality and The Believer

Morality and Spirituality are not interwoven or the same. I have preached this over and over. Religion wants to legislate spirituality and this is impossible. Sex, code of conduct and laws fall under religion. Spirituality has only one irrefutable characteristic and that is liberty. The law came through Moses (Religion), Grace and Truth came through Jesus Christ (Spirituality). The two will never mix, What is flesh is flesh. What is spirit is spirit. Mixing them up is making people look like toddlers online. Jesus was not a moralist teacher, He didn’t come to make bad people good, He came that dead people may live! Sex and human conduct including norms and morals are under religion. Religion has nothing to do with God.

QUESTION: So if sex is not spiritual what about sexuality? Why is the gay/alphabet-rainbow movement a diabolical agenda? Is it the business of those who choose to be gay or those who choose to sleep with animals (I know this is abnormal)? What about sexual orgies, if sex is not spiritual why were sexual orgies used to worship those gods in the past and why are they being practiced now for the same? I am asking this question because I really want to have a balanced perspective on this. I want to be able to properly separate one thing from the other. Thank you.

ANSWER: Sexuality is not the same thing as sex. Sexuality is about feelings, thoughts, behaviour and attraction. I know twins who were having sex once. They were both attracted to each other and felt it was not wrong. Then Kenny became born again and attended PSSBC. She suddenly didn’t feel attracted to her twin brother again. The same with some who joined us as lesbians and after meeting the holy spirit changed their sexual orientation. Sexuality is a choice, sex is not a choice. We are male and female at birth. That is as assigned to us by nature. That is sex. The act of two opposite genders making babies is also sex, this act does not lead to the birth of spiritual children and it is not done in a spiritual manner. Sexual intercourse therefore is of the flesh and there is nothing spiritual about it that a man wants to sleep with his mother is sexuality, that can be corrected and set right. It is not every lady a guy is sexually attracted to that he sleeps with. It is not the every guy a lady is attracted to that she sleeps with. Being a male and being a female is not under the purview of choice. Who you sleep with however is under the purview of choice, you can be attracted to someone but you know I should not sleep with this person. Otherwise, we will be like goats and other animals that sleep with one another without discrimination due to a lack of discernment. Sexuality is a choice. Sometimes a lady comes on to a guy and he knows she wants to be with him sexually or vice versa. He or she turns such an approach down for one reason or the other. But you cannot make a choice not to be male again or not to be female again or to convert yourself from left-hand drive to right-hand drive or turn yourself from key to keyhole. I hope it is clear now how sex is different from sexuality. One is a normal biological function and also a normal gender assignment. The other is the emotion behind the process of selecting who to do what with, what is allowed and what is taboo. The difference between order and abuse.

EXAMPLE: There is a lady who did PSSBC recently, she was a lesbian, a bloke or a husband type. She has been in it for over 9 years. That was her sexuality, her sexual orientation and her attraction as a person. After PSSBC, she came to have lunch with me, I was wearing a pair of sneakers and she insisted she wanted it. A male sneakers. I said why do you want my sneakers?, she said "Brother Gbenga, argue all you want, I am a bloke, I am a guy like you, I said no problem. I took off my sneakers and gave her. The sneakers were quite expensive and it was the first time I ever wore them. Last week, she sent me an invitation card, she is getting married. She is already pregnant. When I called her, she sounded all girly on the phone, the hoarse masculine voice was gone. She was even crying like a candle lit for mass. I kept calling her name. What has happened to you in these last six months? She kept laughing and giggling. The bloke had become a babe. Even I got confused at a point. I kept thinking maybe I was talking to another person or I didn't save her number well. She came for Tehilla praise. She is all babe. Sexuality has changed but she is still a lady. This is the difference between sex and sexuality. Sexuality has been a topic of study for barely a century.

Sigmund Freud’s notorious emphasis on sex was not a personal quirk but a reflection of the budding interest of his day. In the past century, we have learned more about sex than during all of prior human history. Sexual orientation, transsexualism, transvestism, intersexuality—these topics never fit into traditional notions of sex, yet today they are known as relatively common, non-pathological, natural variations. Religionists are caught up short of having to face these issues, and, despite their weighty moral obligation to provide competent spiritual leadership, many members of the clergy simply do not know, or are unwilling to admit, the recently learned facts.

• The powerful emotions that surround sexuality are another factor. Emotions cloud thinking. If truth be told, the heart usually rules the head. So some religious leaders—especially seniors, who tend to hold influential positions but who grew up in former generations with deeply engrained restrictive sexual attitudes—may actually be humanly incapable of transcending their prejudices. Besides, most younger clergy also grew up in sexual repression. It will take generations before comfort with sex becomes typical of our society. • Emotional restructuring of the human psyche is a slow process. Deep psychological healing often requires years of psychotherapy. Yet the emotionally laden social changes that assault our era have come quickly—divorce, chemical contraception, racial equality, women’s rights, access for the handicapped, sexual orientation and biotechnological advancement leading to plastic surgeries and body alterations including transgenderism, the Internet, the breakdown of national boundaries, the growth of a global community, and terrorism. The human psyche is not built to sustain such rapid-fire assault. By any historical standard, the achievements of sexual liberation, even if halted today, would remain remarkable. In fact, then, it is not to be expected that people in general or their religions will change their sexual attitudes quickly.

• Guilt is another factor. Sexual exploration is a normal aspect of adolescence. In that exploration, many people do things that later weigh on their consciences. Many heterosexuals for example, almost always rate as untrue, without debate, that same-sex experimentation is a normal facet of human culture. Some of us who attended boarding schools will gladly share our experiences while we were there of some of the things we saw two young teenagers of the same sex do as regards sexual intimacy and emotional bonding at that age without any form of indoctrination or initiation. Most of those who got into it outgrew it and are married with children now but these realities cannot be denied. Given the societal and religious guilt surrounding such sex acts, adult believers, converted and repentant, are likely to wage a battle against sexual “sins,” their own and everyone else’s. The fact that even these true believers had once “fallen” provides personal proof of the need to vigilantly oppose such instincts in the coming generation. While it is important to provide guidance for those who are coming behind us as believers as to how to handle sexuality and manage the emotion that comes with attraction without any guilt, spiritualizing it and threatening believers with hell and damnation is not the right approach to handling the issue of sex.

• Reaction formation—the Freudian defense mechanism whereby one opposes in others what one senses but cannot admit in oneself—also plays out in other ways. Sexually active "born again Christians tend to be spiritually sensitive. So they are likely to be overrepresented in the ministry. Despite the de facto requirement of marriage for Protestant ministers, the incidence of sexual immorality among them is also high Besides, a recent study suggested that “heterosexual” men who become more sexually aroused by homosexual pornography also tend to score higher than others on a scale of homophobia. Overall, then, some clergy surely oppose homosexuality because they cannot accept the tendency in themselves. Changing sexual mores shake the very foundations of Western civilization, so fear also catalyzes religious leaders in their opposition to change. Such change is inherent in the “sexual revolution,” and such change is colossal, so opposition to it is not wholly irrational. On the chopping block of historical change lie the rule of patriarchy, the relationship of man and woman, the notions of femininity and masculinity, the mythically powerful and financially encumbering heterosexual wedding, the popular understanding of marriage, and the Norman-Rockwellian myth of family. The threat also includes the fictionalized energy of “free sex” unleashed, the power of romance to dilute the work ethic, and the loss of easy governmental control over people because they love. The movement toward a global community—built on the axiom of “human rights” and respectful of all peoples and cultures yet manipulated for economic goals by multinational corporations—is another entangled dimension of this intricate scenario. Under discombobulating circumstances like these, it is understandable that religious leaders would tend toward conservatism and, impotent as anyone to restrain the historical trends, would focus on individuals, their private sex lives, and their fear-ridden relationship with God. Evidently and unfortunately, religious faith is not strong enough to allow all people could be themselves and still live together in peace, joy, and mutual respect. Spirituality however is only productive when it works in liberty This is why most churches are becoming more religious and less spiritual by the day.
-GSW-