Record Keeping

'You are a mistake' the words blurted out from her mouth

She really didn't mean to say that but he had been so mean to her

He was her husband after all, her own man

But he didn't behave like it

She was equally sorry she said so in front of their children

Though they were toddlers

She knew it got him

That was all she wanted to do

Hit him back

He had this uncanny ability of making her feel incompetent

Useless even

His words cut her to the quick

He was so matter-of-fact like

Like a boss

She didn't intend to marry a Lord

She fell in love with a friend

Not God

He drove on in silence

He weighed her words

He had been talking nonstop for an hour

She did something unthinkable

It was not her first time

It was as if she was not prepared at all to be a wife and a mother

He always had to do her maternal thinking for her

Was she not trained?

The lapses started showing weeks after they got married

She couldn't take correction without crying

What was all the tears for?

Cheap blackmail

He couldn't stand it

Once he raised an issue about something she wasn't doing right

The Kainji dam will overflow

Tears solve nothing!

As they got home that day he resolved he no longer wanted to be married to her.

If he was a mistake

And she had said so

Well, so was she

They needed to unmake the mistake

Move on with their lives

But first he would inform their pastor

He had to know why it must end right away!

Pastor listened

Pastor: Wow! She actually said that to you?

He: Yes sir. I feel exactly the same way. I want out of this marriage

Pastor laughed

Pastor: Do you know how many times my wife has left this house and said she wanted out of out 25 years marriage?

HE:?

Pastor: 15 times

He: What!

Pastor: There was no issue under the sun I did not have with my wife, from not being able to give her a son, to being complicit in the three miscarriages she had after our last daughter. i was always her scapegoat!

He: Jesus!

Pastor: But we always settled it:.

He: How?

Pastor: Come with your wife tomorrow

He came to see pastor with his wife

Pastor gave both of them a notebook each

Pastor: Instead of insulting each other, write whatever your partner did in the notebook and we will discuss it at the end of every month

They agreed

At the end of the month, they went to see the Pastor

Pastor: Hope you guys didn't have any verbal altercations last month

She: No sir

He: No sir

She: This is the notebook

Pastor opened it. It was full

Pastor: Where is your notebook?

She: He didn't obey you sir. He didn't use it

He: I tried but every time I wrote something in the morning, she would do something so good in the evening and I will see what i have written as preposterous. So i always end up tearing it up!

Pastor: (Turns to his wife) Did he do anything to make you happy in the last one month?

She: Yes. But you told me to write the things he did wrong and I did so

Pastor: Can you tell me one or two things he did that you love

She: So many sir

Pastor: Good. I gave you the books to teach you that we are quick to keep a record of wrongs and forget to keep a record of good

The couple understood

Their marriage is ten years old

They learnt from that day that it is better to dwell on the

joyful moments than the fleeting moments of hurt.

Love thrives in an atmosphere of understanding, but wilts in an atmosphere of pain, hurt and bitterness