Resetting The Ruach

He discovered as a teenager why the 
wall of his uncle's room was covered 
by pictures of naked women
His uncle, his mother's immediate 
younger brother was an undergraduate 
at the time
He was studying Electrical engineering
Their house had a boys quarters that 
was detached from the main house
That was the room his parent's gave 
his uncle
They said he needed to have his 
privacy whenever he was around
His uncle had a room on campus where 
he stayed sometimes during the week 
but most weekends he would come 
home for supplies and sometimes he 
would come to their house to rest
Once in a while, his uncle would sneak '
a lady into the compound
His parents would naturally frown at such 
His uncle knew it, so he would wait until 
he was sure his parent's had left for 
their offices before coming home with 
his "friend" and he would also ensure 
his"friend" was long gone before his 
benefactors returned home from their 
offices
Once in a while his uncle did the sneaking 
in thing on Friday nights and would keep 
the lady friend in his room for the whole 
weekend
One way or the other, he would discover 
his uncle's secret
His uncle was quite good at making him 
keep his secret
The one thing he wanted the most was 
to spend some time with his uncle in 
his room
His uncle's room was well furnished
It was the kind of room you'd be in and 
time would fly away
His uncle had video games, DVD players 
and a lot of good movies
The kind that his Christian parents 
wouldn't want him to see
He was thirteen when he watched the 
movie "Boomerang" by Eddie Murphy 
in his uncle's room for the first time
For several days afterward he played 
some scenes of the movie over and over 
in his mind as his body responded to 
the sight but he noticed that after a 
few days the scene lost its power over 
his body
The longer the time between what he 
watched and his attempt to replay it in 
his mind, the less the effect the image 
had on his body
That was where the naked pictures came 
into play
They helped to fuel his imagination as he 
would close his eyes and imagine himself 
doing the things he saw in the movie with 
the ladies in the picture
His uncle also had magazines, the ones 
he kept under his mattress
Some had conversations, like comic books 
while others only had pictures of naked 
ladies and sometimes that of people 
actually having sex
He would do anything to stay in his uncle's 
room for at least an hour every day
His uncle knew this and they became a 
tag-team
He supported his uncle's exploits with 
ladies by playing the lookout whenever
his uncle was bringing one home
He would give his uncle real-time 
information of his parent's movements 
and location within the house
Sometimes he would take cooked food 
or cold drinks to his uncle's room before 
his uncle arrived for his uncle and his lady
friend
He was being taught the ropes
At the age of twelve, he discovered 
actual adult film videos in his uncle's room
He watched the videos for hours
At a point, the excitement was too much 
for him, he found himself touching himself 
until he was relieved with his toes and 
body tingling in delight
The pleasures he got from watching, 
reading, and doing the forbidden opened 
his eyes to other things
He began to crave the sexual experience
There were some guys in his estate who 
had started having sex already, as 
teenagers
He was not allowed to make many friends 
within the estate but the news of such 
exploits spread like wildfire among his 
peers
He got close to the boys and he got to 
watch some of their exploits through the 
window and keyholes
The guys had girls who would sneak out of 
school into the estate to have sex with 
them and then sneak back to their schools
It was crazy
He never knew girls could willingly do that 
with boys
It excited as well as scared him
He knew the sword of Damocles would fall 
on his head if his parents found him in 
such company but he couldn't help himself
He was drawn to fulfilling that which he 
had imagined
By the time he was fifteen, he also got a 
girlfriend and he began to do the 
unthinkable
He and his new friends rotated base 
depending on the movement of their 
parents
His uncle's room became the most popular 
lair for their adventures
He got Gonorrhoea for the first time at the 
age of sixteen
It was the kind of affliction that he lacked 
the wisdom to handle himself
He couldn't tell his friends because it would 
make him a laughing stock
He suffered the burning pain and discomfort 
for months until he eventually told his mother
That was when hell was unleashed
He had to tell his parents everything
His father blamed his mother
His mother blamed his father
His father shouted and raved
His mother cried and fussed
He was an only child and they paid 
attention to him as they ought to
He was just too smart for them to 
keep up with
He got the medical attention he 
needed
His parents ensured that he got into 
counseling and paid closer attention 
to him
His friends became outlawed
The fun was over
He was willing to change too
He had failed his WAEC examination 
woefully because he took his eyes 
off the ball 
It was the first time he would ever 
fail his examinations and he was 
the only one that failed that badly 
in his set
It was shameful
It was time for a reset
He studied hard and started going to 
church again but the nights were 
something elseHe found himself unable 
to resist the lure of the seed of darkness 
that had been deposited in his imagination
He found himself unable to sleep without 
masturbating
The way he viewed the female sex had 
also entirely been compromised
All he saw when he met any lady were 
the body parts
Images he stored away for use every night
It got so bad that even on the nights he 
managed to sleep without touching himself, 
he would have sex in his sleep
The course of his life had been altered in a 
manner that he couldn't explain or correct
He gained admission into the University 
through a pre-degree programme
It was the best his parents could do so 
that he wouldn't sit at home for another 
year
It seemed to him like he somehow ran 
out of favour
The things he used to achieve so easily 
became difficult, even his parent's love 
and trust which he took for granted 
once seems to have turned to disdain 
and disappointment
He was battling his demons, fighting 
very hard but it was a battle he didn't 
know how to win
He joined a fellowship on campus and 
gave his life to Christ
He was told that salvation is free and 
he would get a fresh start
It didn't happen as advertised he felt it 
was because something was wrong 
with him
Perhaps he was cursed
He had become a captive of his own 
imagination, a victim of his past
He slept with all the sisters one by one 
in his imagination, he couldn't help it
It got so bad that he started stripping 
ladies of their clothes while talking 
with them or whenever he was in
 close proximity to them
He prayed and fasted
He would sometimes keep away from 
female company for many days
He had become a pervert of sorts, he 
knew it and yet, he couldn't help it
It was terrible
There was no help in sight
Then he met a lady, a lady that was 
born blind
She was a member of the choir at the 
state he was posted to for NYSC
He didn't know why he was drawn to her
He had joined the choir too as soon 
as he joined the church
They got talking and the lady told him 
how she saw everything through her 
imagination
They talked for hours
The lady was seeing life without physical 
eyes and what she was seeing was 
far more beautiful and productive 
than what he sees with his physical eyes
His imagination couldn't see anything 
without his thought somehow straying 
to sex
It had become his default
The blind lady had written six books
 and many storybooks for children, using 
her imagination
He desired to do more positive things 
with his imagination but he didn't know 
how
The lady told him about the Brother in 
Jeans and T-shirt
They had met at a meeting in Magodo 
Lagos when her mother was suffering 
from a terrible ailment
She gave him the phone number
He called'
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt listened 
to him on the phone and said "The Holy 
Spirit can heal your imagination, just 
ask him to do so and then see the 
Word as it is lived"
It was a simple process
Before he slept every night, he would 
deliberately instruct his imagination 
to be with the Holy Spirit and learn 
from the Holy Spirit, then he would 
read passages of the scripture out 
loud and lie down to sleep
He started doing it daily
Within a month, he was free
He simply lost the ability to put 
sexually stimulating images together 
and masturbation without the mental 
image was too much labour without 
any reward
The Holy Spirit solved a battle of 14 
years just like that
He finished his NYSC in 2016 and met 
with the Brother in Jeans and t-shirt
 to say thank you
He got married in January 2020

PS: We always become as we 
consistently imagine we will be, your 
dominant imagination directs the 
course of your life, and all your choices
Once the imagination is hijacked, the soul 
is in peril
First, we see and then we become
Abraham saw
Jesus saw
You must see
What you see informs what you say
What you say affirms what you see
Be intentional with what you see
Do away with mirages
Not all sights are meant for your eyes
Guard your imagination with all diligence!