Why Some People Don't Change

When I was a student, there was this lady who was admitted to study Mass Communication.

She was well-kitted fashion-wise but held this erroneous belief that because the University was a private university where her parents paid a lot of money, she would never be allowed to fail.

The first day she expressed this sentiment to me, I told her she was wrong.

She laughed and said, "Let us bet on it. If none of us attends class and we all sleep in the hostel till the end of the session, the school will have no option but to award marks to us, because if they don't, they will not get the accreditation they need from the NUC.

Later during the session, I would see her in the cafeteria in the evening, hanging around the popular guys.

After the first semester exams, she was given a warning because she had all Fs.

Others like her realised that they had their head in the clouds and pulled them out quickly.

I know a guy who had all Fs but came back in the second semester to perform excellently.

In this lady's case, instead of putting her head down and studying. She partied more.

I met her one day and asked her why she was not taking her academics seriously.

She said, "They failed me last term because the CCTV in the hostels caught me sleeping most of the time, and they couldn't justify passing me. This time around, I will pretend to be sick when exams approach, and I will be at the sick bay.

They cannot fail a sick student.

She did as she planned, and she was advised to withdraw after the first year.

She didn't believe the school would dare to fail her after her parents had paid millions. She said the school was scamming people out of their money by offering admission when they could not guarantee the success of their students.

She said the school was admitting many students so that they could collect their school fees to build their tall buildings, only to fail them after a session when they knew the students couldn't get their money back.

Her mind kept coming up with scenarios in which the school was at fault, but she never once considered that she set herself up to fail by not doing the most important thing she was sent to school to do.

I tried telling her this, but she wouldn't hear it. She wouldn't listen. She kept saying, "Why is everyone blaming me? Was I the one who collected people's school fees and refused to fulfil my end of the bargain to pass them? Would it hurt the school to give me E's instead of F's and keep me on, even if they would give me a third class or a pass? Why should anybody pay these sorts of fees and fail in a private university?

She left the school swearing with all her heart that the private university is a scam and a fraudulent means for the founders to rake in money from students with the intention of failing them.

A few minutes ago, I met the same lady. She is now a mother of three. I went to have lunch, and there she was with her children, also getting lunch.

I didn't recognise her, but she came to me with a big smile and even called me "Big Brother" (Maybe for the sake of her children who were present)

We got talking generally and somehow started talking about Nigeria in general.

She started by saying, "My family and I have escaped from that country, and we are not going back."

I asked her why

She started talking about a lot of things, which, to be honest, made no sense

I listened all the same, and I did so patiently while having my meal.

When I was done, i smiled and thanked her for coming over to greet me

She asked me where I live, and I told her Nigeria.

She said, "It is a lie."

I didn't bother to reply

Then she said, "The system favours some people and not others. When we were in school, the system favoured you, and now I am sure you have some big government job, and you are one of those feeding fat on the resources of that nation. People like us never get any luck. I am here in London juggling three children while my husband sometimes works sixteen hours a day to keep us from becoming homeless.

I asked her why she was not working, and she said, "Everywhere I have worked, they always envied me and conspired to throw me out". "You know", she said, "I told my husband that I graduated after the drama in school; then, he was already done with his studies at OAU at the time.

I got pregnant for him, and his parents supported us in coming to the UK after the wedding. I cannot do a "carer" job; I work as a temp for a company as their front desk officer, but they didn't make me a staff.

Things are quite tough for us, but some of you have it so easy.

I smiled again and waved goodbye to her children as I took my leave.

PS: It seems to me that some people can never think right in this life.

It will be a waste of time to even try to help them or correct them because doing so will make them hate you or count you as the enemy.

Sometimes, the wise thing to do is to leave the unwise to their reasoning.

-GSW-