Chichidodo

She and her ex-boyfriend broke up over very fundamental
issues
He was a smoker, a drinker, a social drug user, 
a man of the world
She was the exact opposite of these things
She hated alcohol with a passion and drugs!
 Drugs!!! Jesus!!!!
She couldn't ever dream of knowing someone 
who do drugs
Were Sense and foolishness supposed to meet 
and somehow become friends?
She was not religious in any way
She just doesn't want anything to do with 
foolishness
She believed sincerely that only a foolish person
drinks alcohol
She was read  many books and she had found 
no evidence
that alcohol is of any physical benefit to the human body
The same was her conclusion for nicotine
Only a foolish man or woman would take 
a bulldozer to wreck his own house
A house he or she  didn't really build in the first instance
And drugs!
Marijuana, Cocaine, whathaveyou! 
What in the world would
a sane person do with all that?
She was brought up with the common sense
She knew her left from her right
She might not know everything but those red 
flags were an instant put off for her
So how come she spent three years with him?
She met him during the youth service programme
He was extremely good looking and smart
He was her supervisor at the bank where she 
was posted to for the programme
They became friends somehow
He wasn't really into her
But she really had a strong thing for him
She dreamt about him often
She dreamt about being with him and marrying him 
and all that
The dreams were not night dreams, they were actually her fantasies
He wasn't the first guy she would fantasize about
She went through the fantasizing stages every other 
month since she was a teenager
She would have a crush and spend some time with him 
in her imagination
She was 24 when she met him and she had never 
really had a relationship
As in a real relationship
She had met about seven guys who asked her out
She said yes to three before they lost interest
The other four she dated somehow through a thick fog 
because the relationships were more mental
than real
There was no date, no physical reality, just messages 
on the phone and an occasional meeting
Two of the four were guys living in her estate
her parents know their parents and there was 
a promise of a "thing"
But then they all went off to school and met other
 people and forged other bonds
The other two were people she met at the university
She had practically thrown herself on the 
neck of one before she 
luckily found out that he was also dating a 
lady from another department
in the same school
She tactfully withdrew from the race
The final one was a guy who had hung around 
her since her secondary school days
He was a friend and a pseudo-brother
She had known him for over ten years
She doesn't know where she stands with him
He didn't come out to say how he felt or even if 
he felt "that" way about her
He would come around, play and take long strolls 
with her, tell her everything about himself and 
his life and be her friend!
She does the same!
And that is all!
It was, therefore, a bonus when she realised that 
he wanted to have something to do with her
He hinted it indirectly for a few weeks and then 
he asked her out one afternoon
She didn't waste any time
He was five years older than her and very popular
He took her to great places in the city
She was having the time of her life
He was a first real and true love
She was like a puppy, wagging her tail at everything 
he says or did
He was her first kiss, the one in which her lips 
were tingling in anticipation and prayer even 
before his lips met hers
He was her first real necking and smooching 
In his car, in her room, in his room, sometimes 
in the office
He was wild and she matched him stride for stride
He didnt have to coax her to sleep with her
She had wanted to be slept with since she was 16
She just didnt have anybody serious enough to ask
He found her a novice and he took her to school
She was tabula rasa and he wrote on her with his all
He taught her crazy things
She learnt fast
She learnt everything and like a grateful puppy 
she was grateful for it
He was tender and caring, a good teacher
Sometimes he would spank her if she was being lazy 
and she would ride faster
She was a very good student
She learnt his body language, his mood, his facial 
expression, his being
It was as if she was programming herself to love him 
forever
But then the puppy grew 
All the instincts she buried due to the euphoria of love resurfaced
She noticed that though faintly, he smells of nicotine 
very early in the morning and late in the evening
Whenever they were at a club or any gathering 
where people were smoking, he would become 
restless and go off to ease himself often
He sometimes smells of cannabis
She found viagra in his room often and he claims 
he uses it for her even when she was sure 
he doesn't 
He was always hiding things, treating her like a 
snoop
He got easily irritated whenever she asked him 
questions, he was always very self-conscious 
and doesn't want to be questioned
He lied a lot even when the truth would serve him better, he would lie
Then she got a sexually transmitted infection
Whoa! She had only ever slept with him
He denied being the cause...
All these happened in nine months
She travelled home for the Christmas break!
By the time she returned, he came out of his shell totally
She guessed he had counted the cost and came to 
a conclusion that she could either put up with him as 
he really is or get lost!
She had no one else 
She liked having sex! 
She really liked having sex with him
She decided to cope, just for the sex and 
companionship
He started smoking openly!
Sometimes she would go and sit in the car while 
he was smoking
Sometimes they would agree from home how many 
sticks he was allowed to smoke and when
Then the cannabis and the occasional sniff of cocaine
He told her he had been using since he was in the 
University
He just coded it because he didn't know how loyal 
she would be
But he had come to trust her and decided to reveal 
his true self!
Somehow she started losing it
She wanted better and she was sure he was heading 
downwards
She just couldn't stick with the nonsense
But like a monkey, she wanted to have an alternative
Half bread is supposed to be better than none
He is still a guy who can get it up and turn her inside out 
with a touch
She might not want the relationship in principle but 
she needed it for kicks
Her best friend was also serving at the time
She told her best friend her dilemma
Her best friend advised her to leave him
She told him why she couldn't leave
Her best friend said: I am coming to see you in March!
Her best friend was also serving but he was 
posted somewhere in the north
They passed out of NYSC in March
Her best friend proposed the very day he came to 
see her!
Just like that
She had loved him for years and wondered why 
he waited that long to say his mind
He told her he had loved her since forever but he 
knew he wasn't ready and was waiting to be ready
His Father had helped him secure a job with a 
company in Northern Ireland
He was finally on his feet!
She said yes!
She told her boyfriend to go to hell!
She walked into a bright new dawn!
Her new relationship was the ideal
Her man was responsible, responsive, loving, caring, 
her best friend and a good lover
For him, there was no clubbing, no drugs, no cheating, 
no vices, just virtues!
He was an all round blessing
He was by no means boring, he was a man of many exquisite interests
They went to arts galleries, poetry shows, comedy shows, music festivals,
sports clubs and live performances of great musical artistes
He paid attention to her and treated her like a woman
He had no secrets!
She knew all his codes and passwords
She could ask him any question! 
Either reasonable or foolish
He was a very patient and loving man
He spent a year with the company in Nigeria 
before he was transferred abroad
They had done the traditional wedding and introduction
The plan was for him to spend one year in Ireland, 
and return home to marry her
She had secured a job at an insurance firm and passed 
the first stage of her ICAN examinations
Everything was fine
Until she met her ex again at the mall
It was a chance meeting, nothing was planned
He bumped into her in the elevator
Perhaps iot was the tight space, perhaps it was the 
puppy in her
She smiled in his face and took his hand as they 
greeted
It was as if they never broke up
She followed him into the bar, sat beside him while 
he drank and smoked
They talked about everything, everything
He told her he had gotten a new job and 
relocated to the city where she lived
She told him about her man and the wedding plans 
everything! She was like a chatterbox, an eager beaver
She was hyper-excited and anticipatory of sleeping with him
He saw this because she wanted him to
She wanted him and she was shameless about it
Later in the evening, she followed him home and slept 
with him!
She did it consciously and eagerly
She didn't know why she was so eager to do wrong
She felt terrible afterwards like she should just fall 
down and die
But when he called her the next day, towards the 
evening, she ran to his house again
The same thing the third day and then it became an again and again affair
They have no plans for the future
They have nothing in common
She really didn't want to be with him but she was sleeping with him
She felt like the Chichidodo
A bird mentioned in a book she read in secondary 
school
She remembered her literature teacher's voice saying
“Ah, you know, the chichidodo is a bird. 
The chichidodo hates excrement with all its soul. 
But the chichidodo only feeds on maggots, and 
you know the maggots grow best inside the lavatory. 
This is the chichidodo.”  
Many would say it was simple, she should just 
behave herself
She tried! She cried! She locked herself in her room!
But always there was that unguarded moment, 
the arm of flesh 
would fail her and she would find herself moaning 
and panting
And he beats her drum to his satisfaction!
She decided after eight months of wallowing in 
guilty pleasure to
seek for help
But she had to be careful so that the wrong ear 
wouldn't hear it
and repeat it to the wrong mouth
Under the cover of a fake twitter handle, she 
reached out to
the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt
He told her she needed to give her life to Jesus
She wondered why
What difference would Jesus make in her matter
She needed to be scolded, insulted, talked to 
in such a way that 
her body would respond by rejecting the foolishness 
it had gotten
itself into
She told him as much
"Sir, ineed somebody to tell me the truth! The sort of 
truth that would 
make me cry and break my stubborn stupidity!
 I am ruining my own life here"
He told her What she needed was Jesus and the 
power of the Holy Spirit
There is nothing that can change a man like the 
spirit of Jesus!
She decided she had nothing to lose
She gave her life to Christ and minutes later she 
received the
baptism of the Holy Spirit! She started praying in 
tongues
Then the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt told her! 
Just worship and pray in the spirit for the next three days,
 spend
a long time in God's presence! 
Just enjoy the presence of the Holy Spirit
She did! 
Sometimes the presence was so intense that she shook 
all over
He called her on a Thursday!
She went to meet him
They got to the room, he took off his clothes
she started taking off her clothes
She started weeping too! Silently at first because of God 
had failed and she was going to do it again
Then it became louder and she sobbed
He came to meet her, to find out what was wrong
He touched her tears and Screamed!
It was as if he dipped his finger into scalding water
He screamed and screamed and screamed
It was so alarming and confusing
She stopped sobbing and paid him some serious 
attention
He was rolling on the floor, reeling in pain, holding his 
right 
hand by the wrist with his left hand
She didn't know what to do
Tears were streaming down his face
He was...He was... She couldn't believe what he was 
doing
She called the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt
"Sir, l am with so and so, hear what he is saying sir, 
I don't understand"
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt said "Sounds to me 
like he is speaking in tongues"
She: Yes sir! How? He is naked and rolling on the floor 
and speaking...
He is not a Christian sir, it must be an evil spirit! I think 
he is manifesting!
Maybe it is the spirit that was in him that kept me in 
bondage that was
coming out or manifesting itself
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt: Just watch him, when 
he comes to himself,
pay attention to his actions
The next morning by 8 AM the two of them were in the 
office of the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt
She: He has been crying all night. He says he wants to give his life to Jesus
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt looked at the EX
EX: Yes sir! I am a sinner sir! I lie, I steal, I cheat, 
I sleep around, I have offended God a lot sir, 
I just want to say sorry! I have written down everything 
I used to do wrong over the night! The memories kept 
flooding into my mind! I got a pen and started writing them down, everything I can remember! The notebook is almost 
full! I just want you to help me tell God that I am sorry! I 
will try not to offend God again! I will do my best sir! 
Just tell me what to do, I will do it, sir!
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt led him to Christ!
He received the gift of the Holy Spirit

PS: The sister got married to her man three months later, 
they both relocated to Ireland in 2016
They now have two beautiful daughters
The EX is a seminary student at the moment 
His marriage is fixed for the month of September 2019
His bride to be is a banker and a believer
I know a sister who is in this sort of situation at the moment
I shared her story with the EX
The "Ex" encouraged me to write this story
He said "Maybe it will open her eyes to see"
I also called the lady, she gave me the go ahead and 
requested that I mention her full name to give the story a face
But I decided against it!
I hope the story helps you Sister and Brother "Born Again"
as you do the things you know are wrong but find
yourself powerless to stop!
The flesh cannot glory in the presence of God
As a believer, you have the ability to release your spirit 
in the moment of temptation
If you stop trying to be determined and you allow the Holy
Spirit to work through you
That weakness you think is a big deal will be levelled in no time