ELSA

admin Dec 11, 2019 2942 0

She was a believer
That is not in doubt
She was a lawyer
Although the enthusiasm to practice
law had been smoldered in her
due to the policy of the firm she works
with and the boring reality that
she had to live up with daily
She was lonely
She was at that age when marriage
ought to be on the agenda
But she had nobody
She was dating a guy once
She was her very first real relationship
He was an up and coming politician
He told her he loved her
She made him wait
Put him through all the hoops
He was patient
He was someone she could see
herself getting married to
Several months into the relationship
She found out he had always been
a cheat
He kept many lovers
She was one of them
He had once been married with a child
He kept her and his "real" life apart
Only meeting her in neutral places
He kept saying "He wasn't sure he wanted
to get married yet and he didn't want
to confuse his son by bringing home
several women before settling on one!
He felt it was best he kept his relationships
outside of his family until he proposed
and was sure the one he would introduce
to his family was the one!
She liked his explanation
It made sense to her at first
Until it began to seem to her like
he was married and using the excuse
to keep her and other ladies from
daring to darken his door!
They broke up
It was a very painful experience for her
She hated being hurt
She hated losing her friends
She hated losing her lover
But she had to
She found out another lady was pregnant
for him later
She wondered how some guys could
sleep at night without their conscience
drowning them in filth!
But she moved on
Focussed on self and her career
The loneliness became worse
Sex had been introduced to her reality
Not having sex was proving a task
Not having anybody was a drag
She missed the cheating guy in a way
At least he was flesh and blood
Someone to talk to and relate with
Not having anybody was tougher!
It didn't make sense to her
But she hated being alone
Trudging from life to life like the flip
of the pages of a novel
Bland, boring, dry, drab reality
She stopped wearing panties to work
at a point
Just to feel naughty within
She was not a thrill seeker
But that didn't mean she wanted
to live like the dead
Nothing was really happening to
her that was worth being called living!
Her father was very sensitive
He didn't allow her slip into depression
he paid attention to her
Even gave her pocket money weekly
Even though she was gainfully
employed
She opened her own law firm for
legal practice by the side (She still
kept her job at the firm she was
practicing with) and also
started a business
The activities were to help her get
through the day
Eventually, she met a guy
He was younger than her
He was asking her out
She kept the line open but she really
didn't feel him or consider it
He was too young
She had this thing about respect
She must respect a guy to date him
She was polite with him
She was paying him courteous attention
But she couldn't bring herself to
respect him
She couldn't offer him more than
friendship
The guy invited her to a party one evening
She went with her friends
They met a group of married men
The men were friends of his older brother
One of them walked up to her and said
"I will make your dreams come true"
She smiled
It was what guys say
It was good to hear it
She knew he was married
She was just at the party to do something
different and exciting
He asked her to dance with him
She did!
It was a mistake
He was a man and she was a bucketful
of surging hormones desiring to bust!
She liked him enough
They parted ways that day
He didnt take her contact
They met again weeks later
Another chance meeting
His uncle arrived from abroad and
took them out for dinner
He tapped her on the shoulder
She turned around and it was him
Wow!
He said "I want you to come with
me to my hotel room"
She protested
He smiled and said "I will be waiting
for you to make up your mind"
She was not a child
Following a married man to his hotel
room was not good!
A No! No! No!
She called her cabman
Told him to drop her friends and uncle
She told them she was going out
with a friend
She followed him to the hotel room
She couldn't exactly say why she did it
She just did
He told her he was married
Four years married
He didn't have a child
He didn't mind having a child with her
WOW!
She said No!
It was bad enough that she was sleeping
with a married man
Going that far was crazy!
She left him in the hotel room
He was asleep when she left
He called her later in the day
She told him she had a journey ahead
She was flying to Calabar for a cousin's
wedding
He told her he was also going to
Port-Harcourt
He asked her to meet with him
She did!
They spent four days together
Stolen waters will birth bitter tears
She knows this
But she has never met a man that kind
and loving before
He was also brutally honest and she
could see herself with him
She really could...
When she returned home
He had taken over her mind
She was seriously considering being
with him
She should be regreting her actions
But temporary joy is better than
permanent misery
She knows all the arguments
And all the prayers
"God will do your own blah blah blah"
Her conscience hurts
Her head says No!
And yet...
She couldn't see herself resisting
him!
Perhaps if he gets tired and walks
away
It would be an answered prayer
for her
But as long as he comes for her
She didn't think she has the
strength to resist him!

GSW's notes: I listened to her
voice note with a smile on my
face!
I know how the story will end
Feelings and Sense had always
been in battle
Democrats versus Trump
Feelings versus Reality
Reality will win
Feelings will lose
And when feelings lose
It usually breaks its holders
Sin might make you feel good
It is like drinking sweetened poison
Death will still have the final say!
Wisdom calls....
Hope someone is listening...

Ps:
Dear ELSA,
I had a tear in my eyes as i write
I love you with all my heart sweet friend
My Father loves you too and we
share a communion with the Spirit
of love himself!
There is a better depth to love
than sense feelings
You and I know this!
This is your choice to make
Ironically, whatever you decide to do
God will not love you less
Jesus is still yours
And the Holy Spirit will never
leave you
How then will you account for this
love?
You will have to and so will I!