Finding Home

When you love a woman, and she isn't really into you. You know it. You either accept that she is not really into you or decide to convince her that she should be into you.

For most men, convincing a woman to be into them requires intentional loving and provision. She gives you the room (her time) to prove yourself to her beyond a reasonable doubt while you hope your best as a man will be good enough.

Sometimes it is

Sometimes it is not

When it is, the woman collapses her defences and makes up her mind to be with you

When it is not, the woman chooses of her own free will to be with you until something better comes along

Many times, the man knows the woman will eventually leave him

This is not a matter of who is more beautiful or who is richer, or who is more accomplished

A woman who is not into you makes it obvious

She may sleep with you, and you may share the occasional wonderful time and experiences together

You might make her laugh so loud that she forgets her reservations and surrenders all to you for one moment

She might get pregnant and have children for you

A woman who will not stay with you knows you are not her final destination

That feeling is always there, that restlessness, being ill at ease, darting eyes, wandering soul, like that raven that Noah sent forth from the ark which found no resting place for its soul.

Some men desperately try to hold on to a woman who is not really into them

They try love, it fails

Then they try material things

They buy her cars, lavish her with gifts, get her pregnant as many times as possible within a short time frame, take her on trips, tries to make sure she doesn't settle down long enough in a place to develop any form of interest in another man

They try their best to control the inflow of traffic from her past, they control the stability of her present, they keep her in a whirlwind of their volatile attention until they burn out

Nobody can sustain a whirlwind romance and affair forever

At a point, both must settle down to life

At that point, she would leave

She might leave him for a janitor or shoe maker, or for a woman, or for nobody

She would leave

A woman knows when her place is not by your side, sir

Even when she is wearing your ring and bearing your name, she feels like she is just playing a role in a movie that she didn't write

When she is pregnant, she either sees the baby as hers or yours

The child is never ours, it is either My son or my daughter or your son or your daughter or your children

It is never ours

You can spend twenty years of your life being married to this woman

Once in a while, she will step out of the marriage and cheat on you codedly

You will never know unless she is ready to leave the life you have to offer

Cheating on you periodically is a way of exhaling

Marriage with you feels like drowning

Like a swimmer with her head underwater

When she cheats, she feels herself; she takes deep breaths

You can label her all you want

You can call her names and throw stones at her

You can judge her and call her accursed

You will be wrong

A woman who feels comfortable where she shouldn't be is a woman who has no preprogrammed destination in her destiny

Odysseus arrived on the island of Circe and fell deeply in love with the witch

He was so lost in love that he forgot all about Ittaca, but destiny wouldn't let him stay on that Island

His destination was Ittaca, and it was preprogrammed into him to return to his wife and son

A life he would feel comfortable in and call home.

If a woman can't call you home, you are just a hotel

She would check into you, sleep on your bed, bathe in your bathroom, make love in you, admire you, take selfies in you, and make contents in you

She will eat your meals and enjoy the luxuries you have to offer

You, however, can't make her stay forever

Every day she stays with you costs her heavily

She must check out and return to the place where she will feel at home.

The place may be a shack or with the most ugly man you have ever seen

She might walk out of your wealth willfully into poverty

If that is where she feels at home, that is where she will gravitate to, and there is nothing you can do about it

-GSW-