Four Truths

Lacking A Defence

How do you defend a daughter who cheated on her husband?

What will you say?

How will you say it?

How do you explain her actions to potential suitors who might want to marry her after her husband has thrown her out of the marriage?

How do you tell your husband that your sister cheated?

Most of the time, the relatives of the cheating wife just fade in shame whenever the conversation regarding her marital issues crop up

My sister, don’t do something I cannot defend.

Don’t cheat

Not intentionally, not by mistake, not even in revenge

If the man cheats on you, please, just leave the union

I can defend that, and you will have your dignity and testimony intact.

Thank you

Intentional Motives

This is the problem I have with intentional men.

It is with the same intention with which he loved and cared for his woman that he would walk away from the marriage if he were given a reason to.

Unintentional men would still shilly-shally, seek mediation and reconciliation because, by their nature, they don't do things with intentionality.

Women looking for intentional men should note this, the intentionality can be for you or against you, depending on prevailing circumstances

Focus On The Love

As GSW was answering a question last night and was distinguishing between Love of God and Fear of God, he mentioned the same interactions between a Father and A Child.

It reminded me of the interaction that I witnessed between a 60+ year old son and his 90+ dad.

The son was the CEO, the dad was the former Chairman of the company, and I was the CFO.

When the dad started rebuking his son before me about how he was running the company, I saw how the CEO wilted and had the posture of a 9-year-old boy that was being rebuked and scolded by his dad.

He feared his Dad so much; no expression of love at all.

We should continue preaching the LOVE of God, and not His fear o. E get reason...

The Problem Of Fear

Fear is impersonal and external in all its influence

When Daddy is home, I behave this way, but when he is not at home, I behave in another manner

That is what fear does

Years ago, my older sister was in SS3.

A man saw her and toasted her.

The guy was the goalkeeper of Exide Batteries football club at the time. My sister liked him, and they started all these hide and seek dating.

One day, he was seeing my sister off (she went to visit him at their football camp which is usually like a hotel where all the players live and train) and he was seeing her off.

My dad was driving by, and he saw them.

My sister was almost run over by a trailer because she was afraid that if my dad got home before her, he would kill her

My Daddy WITNESSED with his own eyes firsthand how his first daughter escaped death by whiskers

It changed his stance immediately

When my sister got home, my Daddy, who would usually be doing fire and brimstone, was ashen with his head in his hands

He kept calling her name over and over again

He narrated the story to my mum and my siblings.

Ha! A trailer almost crushed my daughter to death because I saw her with a boy. Fear did not allow her to check the expressway properly before crossing in haste

Some weeks before that day, he had seen her with the same boy, “We nicknamed him Brontozarus because he was very tall”. He was the goalkeeper of the football team at the time

My daddy threw all of my sister’s clothes outside from the balcony that day and seriously embarrassed her publicly, insisting that if she wanted to get pregnant instead of an education, she should pack her clothes and move to her boyfriend’s house

He really caused a scene

Neighbours came around to beg my daddy and also to have a talk with my sister before he allowed her back into the house

He warned her that if he ever saw her with a boy again, he would kill her

You will assume that all the embarrassment and threat would stop my sister from seeing the boy again, or that she would break off the relationship because of it

She didn’t

That is how powerless fear is

It only breeds hypocrisy and eye service

So when my daddy saw her with the same boy that second time, my sister was sure he would kill her, and literally almost got crushed by a trailer while she was trying to cross the expressway out of fear

I can never forget that day

Love is how we lead people to genuine repentance and a change of heart

Fear is an ineffective tool

It didn’t work on the children of Israel

It didn’t work on my sister

It didn’t work on my generation

It will not work on the coming generations, too

The Love of God never fails

Love is the most effective way to curb bad behaviour and immoral tendencies