Jeshurun

She had always known her husband 
was susceptible to negative influence
She was 18 when she met him
He was 24
She was an undergraduate at the 
University of Lagos
He was a post-graduate student
They met at a friend's birthday party
He came after her with everything 
he had
She liked him and was convinced his 
attention was for real
He wanted to marry her immediately
She would have married him gladly 
but for a conversation, she had with 
her parents on a Saturday morning in 
which she stylishly asked them what 
they think of her getting married and 
her mother 
said she must not talk about marriage 
until she was at least 21
So she told him what her parents said
He was disappointed
She assured him that courting for two 
or three years was not out of place
He agreed reluctantly that day but it 
was the beginning of six months of hell
The 
first thing she noticed after the day 
she told him they had to wait was an 
emotional detachment
When he was asking her out, he 
asked if she jogged every morning
He wanted to know her route so that 
he could join her
She told him she wanted to but found 
it difficult to wake up 
early in the morning
He told her he would be her alarm and 
he promptly began to call her every 
morning by 5am like clockwork
Because she didn't want her parent to 
suspect she was already dating she 
had to keep the analog phone from 
waking up the whole house, so she 
woke up early 
She would dress up and join him down 
the street by 5:30 AM
They would jog for 45 minutes and 
part ways until they met later on campus
But the day after she told him they 
had to wait, he stopped calling
Emotionally, his action tore her to pieces
She was sure he had broken up with 
her
She dressed up and jogged down the 
street
He wasn't waiting for her
She went to check him at his hostel 
later that day
He was around but he said he was busy
The standoff lasted a week
She had cried her eyes out
Eventually, she went to his hostel early 
one morning determined 
not to leave until she saw him
She hung around the main entrance 
from about 7AM
He emerged at about 9am looking so 
unruffled, so calm 
She couldn't even tear his eyes out as 
she had imagined
She just fell on her knees weeping like 
a baby
He rushed towards her and held her
He said 
he was sorry
He said he loved and missed her too
He said his friends told him he should 
stop running after her like a chick to 
a hen
Since she wasn't mature enough to 
stand up to her parents, he should 
teach her the consequence of saying 
No to him
He said he really wanted to be 
with her but he had to steel himself 
against it so that his friends won't 
see him as a wimp
She couldn't make sense of it
Why would anyone deliberately choose 
to be sad when he or she had the 
option of being happy
Why would the opinion of his friends 
matter so much that she had 
pay for it with tears and sorrow
He was the love of her life
She couldn't even walk away if she 
wanted to
But she had learned a vital truth 
about him
He would inconvenience himself to 
earn the respect of his friends even 
if it hurt her in the process
From that day, she began to 
tacitly discourage him from having 
domineering friends who could 
influence him negatively
As soon as she clocked 21, they 
got married
She also graduated that same year
He had gotten a job with an engineering 
firm while she worked with an oil company
They were both from comfortable
backgrounds and had many things in 
common
They wanted children but somehow 
they couldn't have any
It was emotionally draining for her
The medical reports say they were both 
fine, they did everything instructed by 
the specialists
They changed their diets, altered the 
time they 
made love and did a lot of praying
He stood with and by her
He was unwavering
Eventually, God answered their prayers 
and she took in
Two months after she took in, one of 
his old friends who had traveled to 
the UK for about 10 years returned to 
the country to start his own firm 
The friend had a bright idea but he 
couldn't pull it off by himself
He needed a partner and convinced 
her husband to resign his job and 
join him
Her husband did and the business 
venture was an instant success but 
her husband's partner was a skirt 
chaser who used women for fun 
Whenever her husband discussed 
stuff from the office with her and 
mentioned how ladies of all body 
types and looks flocked to the office 
to service his partner, she would cringe
Her husband never spoke of it in a
dmiration or approval
He condemned it but she knew her 
husband very well
She knew he could be persuaded 
off his faithful ways
He had more money than he can spend 
and since she had her baby, he had 
dedicated more time to work than God
(He used to be the one driving her to 
monthly camp meetings and prayer 
meetings when they were parents in 
waiting) but Jeshurun had gotten fat 
and forgotten God
The challenge was the business
It was so successful that she couldn't 
convince her husband to walk away 
from it but at the same time she 
knew his proximity to Mr. Randy will 
make him randy too in the long run
She tried talking to him 
She beefed up her wardrobe and 
tried her best to look her best always 
so that his eyes would be on her only
She knew it was a battle and she 
was determined to win
Many ladies know the truth, that deep 
down if they turn their screw on a man 
he would cave regardless of his marital 
status
But they will turn the screw anyway 
and dare him to say NO.
If he falls for their antics, he was the 
one that fell and it was no fault of 
theirs (despite the fact that they 
opened their legs willingly and in 
some cases even seduced him)
She did everything within her power 
to keep him from straying
She was successful for only two years
Suddenly he began to travel frequently 
to London for business meetings
The journeys were too frequent for 
comfort
She cloned his phone and found out 
he was already cheating on her
It was inevitable but it was hurtful 
She didn't know what to do
She confronted him
He denied it
She presented her evidence
He walked out of the house and 
moved in with his mistress
He said she went too far by cloning 
his phone
His engineering firm was into some 
highly classified deals with the 
government and what 
she could be classified as sabotage 
especially if the tech people who 
cloned his phone for her kept some 
of the files or knew the value of some 
of the documents
She tried to explain that she did what 
she did out of love but it seemed like 
he had been looking for an excuse to 
walk 
away from the marriage and she had 
handed him one
She waited a month for him to come 
to his senses
When he didn't she reached out to 
members of his family and explained 
what has happened
A meeting was called and he categorically 
said to everybody that he was no longer 
interested 
in the marriage because he had fallen 
out of love with her and feels she lacked 
a life purpose other than obsessing 
about him
He talked about the cloned phone and 
how it pointed to mental derangement
He said she didn't have a life and he 
was tired of her
He tore her to pieces 
His family members took his side
her family members took hers
Everybody agreed they should part 
ways for a while and reconsider because 
there was so much animosity in the two 
of them
She didn't play her cards well too
She went all emotional and started 
cursing him
It didn't help 
case
She was 40, saddled with two teenagers 
when the marriage died
He agreed to spend some days at home 
because of the children
He told her she was free to divorce him
He told her he didn't want anything to do 
with her other than the fact that she was
the mother of his children 
she found herself calling his business 
partner (The bad influence) to help her 
talk to him
She was desperate
She was in tatters
She agreed to his terms
She was still very much in love with 
him and couldn't see herself as a single 
parent or with another man
She resorted to prayers 
the heart of a king is in God's hand and 
she resolved to persuade God to stir her 
husband's heart back to her
She became a wife in name only
A figure head
He was essentially separated from her 
and enjoying his life with another woman 
who was unperturbed about building a 
nest of joy on another woman's pain.
After a year of fasting and praying 
without any result
She decided to commit suicide and 
take her children with her
The idea one afternoon while she 
was in the kitchen
She felt it was best to kill her two 
children and then kill herself just to 
make a statement
The next day she began to plan how 
to execute it
She went to a friend's church and met 
the brother in Jeans and T-shirt
They talked and prayed together
When she got home, she realized the 
urge to do it was gone
She waited for a week, the urge 
came back
She bought everything she felt she 
needed to execute her plan but by the 
time she got home, the idea lost speed
This happened three times before the 
urge was replaced by supernatural peace.
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt told 
her the Holy Spirit silenced the darkness 
in order to preserve her and her children
He said "The day we spoke, when i got 
home and was discussing with my 
brother, the Holy Spirit said to us that 
the devil will try to take advantage of 
your emotional vulnerability so I started 
praying for you every day for that terrible 
storm to blow over" 
PS: When we are broken, everything 
loses colour
Life's fragrance is lost upon the dying
Everything goes dim and hope dies
Without the Holy Spirit, we find ourselves 
plunging into the darkness
Perfect love must be sought through the 
Holy Spirit and can only be kept by 
being in HIM 
As we celebrate Valentine day soon, let 
us remember that love is a volatile emotion 
outside of God.
The same overwhelming power it owns, 
that drives it to make us bubble with life 
can be the same overwhelming power 
that will drive us into despair.
Love preserves and spurs us to life
Any feeling that drives us towards death
is not love and cannot be of God
Without God, love is empty