Her friends would talk freely to her about their admirers

She was the stable one, the voice of reason

She was the one they came to for counsel

The one with the ancient head on her shoulders

This started right from secondary school

It was the default role she found herself playing

The process continued into her university days

Her friends brought other ladies to her

Age, class, status or level didn't count

They came in droves

And she readily listened and nudged them in the right direction

Most times her counsel worked out fine

It was a rare gift

It had to be an innate gift because she had no experience whatsoever

She was beautiful in her own way

She had no deformity

Her facial structure was fine

She filled out properly in the right places

She carried herself elegantly

She is also highly intelligent

A beauty and an asset

But she had never ever been looked at the way guys look at other girls

Not once had she been written to, asked out or even noticed

Her friends thought she had her life all planned out and didn't have time for a relationship

They didn't know how lonely she was, how bad it felt!

The universal truth is, we all want to be desired

Even if for just one day, she would like to see a man look at her in a way that said 'I want you'

If there was anything worse for a woman than being regarded as a sexual object, it is not being regarded as one

She felt incomplete

Out of desperation, she approached a classmate when they were in the final year

She had always liked the guy and felt she ought to speak out before they graduated

If she cannot get a man in the university, where would she find one?

'Sis, I cannot think of you that way" said the guy

Men declare their attraction, love, affection, longing, even lust for ladies all the time. Ladies were given the option of accepting or rejecting such every day.

Ladies also do the same and men take it or leave it

What was wrong with her?

Nobody thinks of her that way


At 33, she had tried all the tricks in the book to land herself a boyfriend. Nothing worked.

Even married men whom she knew sleep around didn't look her way.

She couldn't even get a one night stand!

Nobody wants her!

How cursed can she be?

She ran to church!

Desperate times!

Church didn't help either

She met a lot of single brothers and sisters in the singles fellowship

They were not simply marrying each other as she had imagined

She stayed because there were other social activities to keep her sane

The brothers didn't see her as usual


She went for counselling

Did deliverance

Became born again

Received the gift of the Holy Spirit

Built up herself in her most holy faith

The desperation waned

Depression lifted

She had the joy of the Holy Spirit


But there was still no suitor, not even a secret admirer

Their church invited a minister to conduct a service

The minister sent his assistant

The assistant saw her and said 'Go and bring your mother here"

Her mother had always lived with her

She brought her mother to church

"Why didn't you want this lady to marry' he asked her mother


Her mother: Who would take care of me if she got married? As my only child whom I suffered to raise, i have the right to be cared for.

If she gets a man she will become loyal to her husband and I will start suffering like other foolish parents

She will marry once I am dead.

She sank to her knees.

At 38, her mother was talking about her woe as dispassionately as if she was talking about a piece of property.

This was her life! Her own mother!!

The pastor was smart.

He quickly told her to hold her mother's leg and promise she would never neglect her

She did.

The next day she made a huge deposit into her mother's account, opened a big shop for her

Her mother blessed her

Pastor prayed

The yoke was broken

One year later, she married the assistant Pastor God used to solve her problem

Marriage is 7 years and two children strong