Own Your Day

Emperor and stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius hated getting out of bed. Who doesn’t? But that’s not all. He suffered from severe insomnia. His struggle with sleep meant getting out of bed was a big struggle. He dreaded the morning. But Roman society highly valued early risers. As an emperor, he had to battle his own insane tiredness in the morning. So, he dragged himself up anyway. He wrote himself a note in his journal, Meditations, “In the morning when thou risest unwillingly, let this thought be present, — I am rising to the work of a human being. Why then am I dissatisfied if I am going to do the things for which I exist and for which I was brought into the world? Or have I been made for this, to lie in the bedclothes and keep myself warm?” He was forced to negotiate with himself to do what he must first thing in the morning. You and I face the same negotiation.

The stakes are lower, though.

The resistance is the same.

Marcus had a routine. Deliberate habits to practice before the demands of the day take over his life. I’ve studied them. I’ve tried them. They work. These are all practical things you can try in your life.

#He made gratitude the first thought. Most of us wake up thinking about what’s wrong. You dread your commute, the work you don’t want to do. Everything that makes you miserable. What if you start your day with a different mindset? “When you arise in the morning,” Marcus wrote, “think of what a privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” Read that again. And try to remind yourself of this every morning. Your day will never be the same. Be grateful for the basics. The things you already have. The things you’d miss immediately if you didn’t have them anymore. In the morning, before reaching for my phone, I focus on things that are already true. And make life possible. I try to practice throughout the day. Gratitude before complaint changes the entire direction of a morning. You start from abundance, where most people focus on all the things wrong with their lives. That change of mindset is not small.

It changes everything.

#He wrote before he spoke. Marcus journaled for his sanity. It was early in the morning, historians believe, that he sat with a blank page, writing down his thoughts, clearing his mind and reminding himself of the important things in life. His Meditations is a working document. A man talking to himself. “The people you will meet today,” he wrote, “will be ungrateful and mean and shortsighted and frustrating.” He was rehearsing his response to all the experiences for this day. He wrote it down so it wouldn’t ambush him later. You don’t need a leather-bound journal for this. You can talk to yourself on any digital note. Any journal will do. The goal is to externalize the day ahead and how you should respond. It takes a lot of practice to make this work for you. But it works. I start this routine as a reflection on what I’m worried about.

What I’m avoiding. What I want to do in the next 24 hours. It will save your sanity if you can get those thoughts on paper.

#Marcus premeditated the worst. But didn’t dwell on it. The stoics had a practice called premeditatio malorum. The premeditation of adversity. Marcus did it every morning. He imagined the difficult people. The delays. The ingratitude. To neutralize their power. “Begin each day by telling yourself, “He wrote, “Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness — all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil.” Here’s why it works. Anxiety is powerful when you haven’t named the source. The undefined dread can do more damage. When you name the thing you fear, specifically, you brain take back some of the control. You’re no longer surprised when the terrible behavior at work happens. You anticipated rudeness. You planned for it. You can respond from a place of calm.

Without premeditatio malorum, you will immediately react.

You can do this on your commute. Name the things that could go wrong today. And how you can handle it. Or better still, how you positively dealt with it in the past. You are more capable of practicing this stoic habit than you think. Try it.

#He focused on one thing. Marcus didn’t multitask. He didn’t believe in it. “Concentrate on what’s in front of you like a Roman,” he wrote. “Do it like it’s the last and most important thing in your life.” The morning was his time for the hardest work. He tackled important tasks when he was fresh. He learned this from his stepfather, Antoninus, who scheduled even bathroom breaks to avoid interrupting long stretches of focus. Your priorities are different. But the temptation to do more at the same time is so high right now. You have a dozen things to do. And you are supposed to deliver on ridiculous timing. But trying all of them in real time can mean you do none of them well. Marcus would say pick one, my friend. The one that matters right now. Do it first. Before email. Before Slack.

Before the world splits your attention.

I’ve been blocking two hours for writing for years. No phone business. No tabs. Just the work. My output doubled. I won before noon. The math is simple. Stack your successes first thing in the morning. And the motivation will carry you through. It works.

#Marcus mastered his mind. And stopped trying to control external experiences. He could never have controlled the timing of the plague. He couldn’t control the wars. Or the betrayals. But his response was the only power he had. That’s why he said, “You have power over your mind,” he wrote, “not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength”. This is basic stoicism. Your dichotomy of control is everything. Epictetus wrote a whole book about it. “Working within our sphere of control, we are naturally free, independent, and strong. Beyond that sphere, we are weak, limited, and dependent. He also said, “Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing,” he said. You wake up. You check the news. Everything is on fire.

Your instinct is to react.

To fix. To worry. Marcus would want you to remind yourself that these are not in your control. I use this on mornings when the day already feels ruined. Maybe you started on the wrong note with your boss. A client is angry. The train is delayed. Can I do anything about this? If the answer is no, let it go. Worrying changes nothing, except adding to your stress.

#He took the view from above. This was a stoic visualization practice. You picture yourself from a great height. You zoom out. You see your city. Your country. The planet. The cosmos. Your problems shrink to their practical size. Marcus wrote about adopting “a cosmic standpoint,” seeing the relative smallness and transience of human life. He wanted to put things into perspective. You are one person. Living one day at a time. In one life. The pressure you feel to be perfect. The stakes you’ve assigned to that morning’s meeting. They’re not as high as you think. If you’ve prepared. And done your work, you are good. You are ready to do what you must. If you don’t deliver as you expect, it won’t be the end of your career. The sun that rose in Rome in Marcus’s time will rise again tomorrow. Your problems are not new. Many people have come before you. Do what you must and take the view from above. It won’t solve your problems. But this practice sizes them correctly. So, you can focus on the next experience.

Before you go, remember these habits are yours to try. You just need a few minutes before the world tries to steal your focus. Start with one. Try it tomorrow before the day begins. Don’t overwhelm yourself first thing in the morning. Moaning or complaining won’t change anything. “Never be overheard complaining,” Marcus wrote, “not even to yourself.” So, don’t. Get up. Do the work. The morning is your first test. You’ve got this.