Principled

His elder sister objected

“The girl is too saucy

She owns and drives her own car

Her salary is at least three times what I earn

She works in our Human Resources Department

She has the power to fire me at will

And you are saying you want to marry her?

You?

You just graduated from the University, the girl graduated over five years ago

She had worked with many multi-national companies

I address her as Ma’am, even though I am older than her…

How do you think things will work out for me if you ask her to marry you and she decided to take offence

Who do you think she will unleash her fury on?

Who do you think will bear the brunt when the love turns sour?

Instead of you to keep your head down and look for girl you can cope with

You want to marry a finished product

Do you know she has plots of land at so and so place?

Do you know how much money she has in her savings?

She is the highest contributor to our office’s co-operatives society

I know you are very ambitious but I fear this lady is way beyond your league”

He didn’t know what to say

He had stumbled upon the lady one day while waiting for her sister at their office’s reception

She looked simple, comely, homely, alluring and stirred a longing in his heart

He didn’t know who she was

He looked at her carefully and noticed she was not wearing a wedding ring

He didn’t know how he found himself right beside her

She looked at him, wondering why he suddenly invaded her space

He said “Hi”

She smiled

The tension in his heart dissolved

“I came here to see so and so but If you don’t mind, I will like to have your phone number and I will equally ask that you take me serious as one of your prospective suitors”

She paused and gave him a second look

He wasn’t dressed in any flattering way

He wore a T-shirt, a pair of jeans and palm slippers

He didn’t ooze wealth

But he was confident and the look in his eyes was sincere

She gave him her number

She wanted to take his number but he said “When I call you will know I am the one calling”

She shrugged and walked away

She was single and had been waiting to be found by the right man

If he was as sincere as he claimed, an audience wouldn’t hurt

She had the option of walking away if he turned out not to be her cup of tea

That night he sent her a text message

He was a wordsmith…

No wonder he said she would know when he calls

His command of language was melodious, even to a numbers person like her

He wrote “Only a few people recognize the innocuous nature of the beginning of greatness, we preen and strut when we get to the pinnacle but forget the first step we took on rung of the ladder of success. Today was the greatest day of my life, I kid you not, you made today the greatest day of my life and I promise to make every day of your life as great as I can make it. Thank you for giving me your number. So and so”

She read it over and over

Guys throw pick up lines all the time, she had heard so many but this was original.

It was written by a guy who had her in mind.

A guy gunning to impress her.

A guy putting in an effort

She replied him with a “Thank you” and had a great sleep for the first time in many days

The next morning, she took her time to dress up

She was sure he would come around

Though he didn’t say so but it was better to be safe than sorry

As she drove to the office, she decided she needed to adjust her approach to his sister

She had always addressed her as a subordinate but…

What if things became serious and they get married?

It is better to apply wisdom early than bite her finger later

He called her during her lunch break

He was at an eatery close to her office

“Is she free? Can she come over?”

It was the moment she dressed for that morning

She went to see him

He told her about himself

He was a fresh graduate but she shouldn’t worry about his ability to provide for her

He was innovative and hardworking

He would be ready for marriage within eighteen months

He was 28 years old

She was 26 years old

He had always desired to marry at 30

He will marry her

She couldn’t believe his cockiness

Here she was waiting for him to deliver more sweet nothings

He was all business like, idealistic and “Taking Charge” like

She admired him

He didn’t know the labour market

He didn’t even know her

He delivered his “Manifesto”

Once he got it off his chest, he said

“I know you think I am not being realistic, I should take things slowly and we should see what comes of this! That is what ninety-nine percent of the other guys will do. They do this because they want to test the waters and see if they can walk on it!

I am not like that! I am already walking on this water.

Can we go and see a movie this Saturday?

She didn’t know what to say!

He had switched from the serious manifesto reading guy to the congenial boy with a girl mood

She looked into his eyes!

“Let me give him one more chance to convince me” she thought

She said she would go see a movie with him on Saturday

The messages kept coming!

Every night, around 8pm he would turn words to atomic bombs and blow her mind away

Saturday came, he took her to his house, pulled down the curtain and played “Lord of the Rings Part 1”

When she tried to protest that he was supposed to take her to a cinema, he went into his kitchen and brought out two bottles of Coke and a two bowls of pop corn”

“What do they offer in a cinema that I don’t have here?” He said

She sat beside him on the rug in his sitting room and watched the movies from part 1 – 3

She didn’t know how time sneaked out on them

One minute it is 12pm the next it was 7pm

He was good company, he would pause the movie and tell her the Biblical significance of the characters and events in the movie! He also had the book and had read it several times

He had depth

He had a library! He said he had been collecting books since he was a young boy

She decided to marry him after that “movie” event

She just knew he was the one

He never took her out on any fancy date

He couldn’t afford it

She understood

On weekends she would go to his house or he would come to hers

They played scrabbles, chess, monopoly, they talked and read together a lot

Six weeks after they met he proposed

She said yes

She couldn’t have imagined in a million years that her dating experience could be so fun filled without any external stimuli

She told her parents about him

They became concerned that he was a leech who would suck her dry

Her mother insisted that she wanted to meet with him

She told him and accidentally mentioned her mother's concern

He felt insulted, she could see it in his eyes

He was someone who had little or no regard for convention

She was sure he wouldn’t go and see her mother

He wouldn’t want to be grilled by a stranger over his lack of a job

He could walk away from the engagement if he felt the pressure was too much

He said to her: People are funny! You will be trying so hard to get a breakthrough in life and instead of them finding a solution to your problem for you, they would want to pile more pressure on you!

She knew at the moment he wouldn’t pay heed to the summon of her mother

Two weeks later, her father called him

“My wife said you should come and see her and you refused, why?”

“I will come and see you both soon sir, after I get a job!”

It was unthinkable that a potential son in law would speak like that to his father in law to be

Her father called her and told her he wouldn’t approve of the wedding because of the attitude of her man

Her mother said the same

She went to him, “This is what they are saying, please just show up and meet with them”

He said “No”

He will not go to a place where he would be treated as less of a man because he doesn’t have a job. A job doesn’t define a man in life! He wouldn’t be defined by circumstances that are subject to change!

Besides he was making money informally through some of his freelance projects, but the money was inconsistent and paltry

Her parents called a family meeting

"This and that" is what is going on

The young man has refused to honour his in-laws to be

We have told our daughter to deist from seeing him

She refused!

Her siblings spoke to her: Leave the jobless guy alone! The worst combination in life is pride and poverty!

Walk away!

Her uncles spoke to her: Your parents are not happy! Break up with this guy

Everybody said he was no good

They were still having the meeting when he arrived at her house at 12pm

He called her number

She went outside to meet him

She told him what was going on

He smiled

He followed her into her house

She introduced him

Everywhere went silent

He greeted her parents and her relatives

He apologized for not heeding their summons earlier

He said if he had come they would have told him what he had been telling himself for many months

He said: I came today because I got a job yesterday

He brought out his letter of employment and gave it to her

She didn’t open it

She knew he was in the lion’s den and like Daniel, he had come to shut the lions up

Nobody said anything

He said: I will like to know when I can bring my people for a proper introduction

Her father said the family will meet and get back to him

She took him to the garden and served him some refreshment

Thirty minutes later her father sent for him

They gave him the second Saturday in May

He went to his people and delivered the news

On the second Saturday in May, the introduction was done

The marriage counselling session began immediately after

Six months later they got married!

PS: This event happened in 2008

The couple are happily married and have three children

She said his attitude convinced her he was neither intimidated by her money nor planning to dig gold out of her as many were insinuating

He said he was sure she wouldn’t leave him despite all the pressure “I was in her brain!” he boasted

Their relationship with their extended families is superb