Rat Fink

He got the idea when he followed his 
parents to his younger brother’s school! 
His younger brother had been admitted 
to study law in a private university 
His younger brother was just sixteen 
years old at the time 
His parents insisted he had to come along 
to help out somehow! 
He knew they didn’t want to leave him 
at home 
His mother had caught him and his girlfriend 
in bed a week before! 
It was an embarrassing moment for everybody 
His parents gave him the talk after that but
 they were being abstractly controlling! 
They didn’t want to seem overbearing but
Since that day they rotated him between 
themselves! 
He found himself driving his mother to the 
market and following his father to the church! 
They didn’t want to leave him alone at home 
for fear he would invite the “girl” over again! 
It was the “girl’s” fault 
She seduced him...
He was too well brought up to fall into the 
first legs to open up for him without any 
resistance! 
He knew what they were doing 
He knew they could cut his allowance or 
do something very drastic 
They were trying to treat him like an adult 
because he was an undergraduate and 
he was 18 years old but at the same time 
he knew if he pushed them too hard 
they would give him hell 
So he played along 
When they got to his younger brother’s 
school he walked with his brother though 
the desks where they had to fill a form or 
pay a due while his parents sat in the car
He was designated as the big brother to
 do the leg work 
His presence made a difference 
He knew the questions to ask and had 
the energy to withstand the queues at 
the bank and the department until they 
were done! 
It took five hours 
His parents were proud 
He had redeemed himself!
A few days later, his school resumed! 
That was when the idea came to him. 
He noticed that in his brother’s school 
there was a form being sold for 
500 Naira per new student 
An insurance form of sort 
He was sure it covered nothing like most 
insurance documents in Nigeria! 
Nobody really uses them or remember 
them in time of crisis 
He calculated the number of new students 
and how much it he would make 
He designed the form on his laptop, 
printed a thousand copies and told his
 parents he had to return to school 
immediately! 
When he got to school he got a desk 
and placed it just around the registration 
classrooms 
He sat there with his forms 
The parents started arriving 
Nobody asked him anything, even the 
school’s registration team 
Everybody assumed everybody else 
were supposed to be there 
The parents and new students started
Arriving! Registration started 
They went through the desks and yes 
they came to his desk too! 
He started selling the forms for N500 
Every parent bought and filled it 
He sat there and kept a straight face 
By 4pm he had made 75,000 Naira 
He closed when the registration team 
closed!
He took the money straight to the bank 
and deposited it into his bank account 
He made approximately the same 
amount every day for two weeks 
At night, he went from room to room in 
the male hostel and sold the form to 
those who didn’t stop at his desk 
earlier in the day 
He told the students it was compulsory! 
Nobody suspected a thing 
Nobody asked questions 
By the time the main registration closed 
he had made N1.1 Million! 
His parents came to see him 
They settled his school fees and gave 
him his pocket money 
They warned him about that girl and 
told him to face his studies! 
He had reprinted the form thrice during the 
whole runs 
He gave the rest of the forms to his parent 
to take home 
He told them it was the document of the 
project he came early to campus to do. 
He kept his head down 
His babe arrived on campus and started 
giving him attitude because his parents 
didn’t take kindly to “catching” them 
having sex 
He felt she should understand 
Even white parents would raise some concerns 
They are in Nigeria and parents would 
naturally feel disrespected and concerned 
about what they saw 
But his babe kept acting up
After about a month of stressing him up, 
she finally gave him some attention! 
She agreed to meet him at a classroom at 
7pm to talk things out 
She had limited him to phone calls and 
sightings since school resumed 
She said he was immature and didn’t 
fight for her 
It was crazy!
They met and talked 
She was still feisty and acting as if he 
was wasting her time 
He didn’t plan to tell her but he did 
He said “Now that I have the money to 
give you eternal trips you are acting up! 
I will pick another babe if you keep 
this up!” 
She heard the tone of his voice
She knew he wasn’t joking around 
She stylishly calmed down 
They talked for a while 
She wanted to see the evidence that 
he had the money to spoil her 
He showed her his account balance 
She settled down seriously! 
He didn’t tell her how he got so much 
money but she saw his account balance 
She gummed herself to him after that 
He wasn’t a senseless spender 
He bought her meals and small gifts 
He was determined to keep his first million! 
He spent for her from his pocket money, 
which was generous 
The only time he touched the money was 
when he bought her a gift
For Valentine’s Day 
He bought her a phone worth 85,000 Naira 
She appreciated it 
They spent some more on food and hotel 
bills but he only spent the 100k on his haul! 
He remained a millionaire throughout the 
session! 
He finished the session very strong 
academically 
He kept his head down at home
When he resumed 300 level, he repeated 
the heist 
This time he registered as one of the 
vendors who came around 
for registration business and got a tag 
He placed his desk at the same 
spot and sold the form for 1000 Naira each 
He made 2,435,000 in two weeks 
He saved everything!
When his babe arrived on campus two 
weeks later, they spent a week together 
at a hotel right after registration 
He had 3 million in his fixed deposit 
account 
They spent 200k for the week they 
spent at the hotel 
He showed his babe how much he 
had saved 
He still didn’t tell her how he came 
about the money 
He only told her he couldn’t access it 
anyhow since it was in a fixed deposit 
He did this so that he wouldn’t be asking 
him for money all the time 
They had another wonderful session 
He was sure to graduate with a 2’1 
She was sure to graduate with a 2’1
Too 
They went on holiday 
During the holiday his babe started 
coming to see him at home again 
This time his parents were fine with it 
but they respected themselves by 
keeping the sex away from his 
parents house 
They spent most of the weekends 
together 
They started talking marriage and all! 
School resumed 
He rushed back to campus to pull the 
same stunt 
It worked until the tenth day 
Around noon that day, his babe walked 
into the registration center 
With her parents and her younger sister 
His babe’s younger sister had 
gained admission 
into their school and
They came for registration! 
He didn’t see them on time 
They bought a form and went away 
He had a bad feeling immediately 
after that it was a strong dark 
premonition of an impending 
earthquake 
He shrugged it off 
He went back the next day and there 
was no issue 
Registration closed!
He made a total of 2.7million this time 
around 
It was his last heist He was 5.7 million 
Naira richer 
He saved the money 
The other students resumed 
His girlfriend resumed too but she was 
nowhere to be found for two days 
He called her phone, he went to 
her hostel! 
She was avoiding him
Early morning on the third day, he 
got a letter in his hostel pigeonhole
he had been summoned for an 
appearance before the School's 
Disciplinary Committee
His heart sank
His feet began to tremble
He ran straight to the office of the 
Dean of Students affairs
He had never had an issue with the 
school authority before
He needed clarity
When he got to the office of the dean 
of students affairs
He was treated with suspicion
The dean tried to act as if nothing was 
wrong
But he gave him a sheet of paper and 
told him to write
a statement about how he came about 
his secret stash of cash
He relaxed
The school usually conducted a random 
test on students
especially in order to curtail internet fraud 
activities
Other students had been probed before
He wrote the statement and dropped his 
account details
He knew they would check but he had 
thought of this well ahead
THe fixed deposit account he opened was 
in another name
He forged identity cards for it and all
The bank he was using was not on campus
He moved the money after the first 1 million
He was safe
Later that day he got another letter inviting
his to the SDC meeting for 10 AM the 
following day
His father called him and asked him 
what was going on
His parents had been contacted too
His father insisted that he must return 
home at once
When he got home, he met his parents in 
knots
They were practically crying and wailing
He tried his best to calm them down
The next morning, they left home as early 
as 7AM
His parents drove
When they got to Iwo-Road Ibadan
They saw his girlfriend
His parents parked to pick her
She saw them, crossed to the other side
and walked on as if she didn't know them
It was beyond embarassing
He wound down and screamed her name
She just walked on as if she didn't hear him
His parents drove on
When they got to school his parents went
to the offices to see who they could talk to
he remained in the car
He saw his babe walked into the school
He called her name
She hissed as she walked past him
10 AM came, he was summoned upstairs
The school brought forth their case
He defended himself
Then the school accused of him having
another account opened under another
name
He denied it
Then they called their witness
It was her
She told them everything
She told them how she had seen the 
form
in his room at home but made nothing 
of it
She told them how her younger sister 
bought the same form
She told them how everything added up
She told them she had to expose him 
because he was getting away with it
He was a thief!
He was too shocked to say a word
She had pictures, screengrabs and so on
She nailed him!
The school had brought in the Special 
Anti-Robbery Squad for his case
He was processed like a criminal
Finger prints, pictures and all and
handed over to the police
The school's lawyer reasoned with his
parents
At the last minute, he was given the
option of returning the fund to the
school's pocket and getting expelled
or keeping it and going to court
He was assured he would lose the 
court case, go to jail and still return
the fund if he decided to contest the
offer!
His parents pleaded with him to be
reasonable
He agreed to the terms
The police released him
He was expelled
He returned the money the following 
Monday
His parents were devastated
His father said so much
His mother just cried
He had brought shame to the family
He sat at home for a year
He just lost interest in everything
He fell into depression
He was wrong and he had always
felt he could be caught
The pain was in his girlfriend's betrayal
He couldn't believe it
She spent out of the money
He spent more out of the money for
her than he spent on himself
His younger brother graduated and
proceeded to get his Masters in the UK
One night, he decided to check out
He had the rope and the letter done
He hung himself
His mother walked into his room by 1 AM
by divine orchestration
He was saved with barely enough
life in him
He spent two weeks in the hospital
His mother reached out to the Brother
in Jeans and T-shirt
When the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt
met with him at the hospital they 
connected like brothers
He gave his life to Christ and started
learning Christ through the Holy Spirit
After he got discharged, he started spending
time at the office of the Brother in Jeans
and T-shirt
He had been writing his ICAN since he was
an undergraduate and was almost through
before his plans boomranged
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt encouraged
him to continue his ICAN and get it done
He became a chartered accountant a year
later
His father employed him immediately at
his firm
He also enrolled in the National Open 
University
He graduated and got a job with one of
the top firms in the country through his
father's connections
His life was back on track
Then he met his former girlfriend at a 
conference in Abuja
They connected and kept their reunion
a secret for almost a year
in 2017, he decided to tell his parents
of his plans to marry her
His father almost had a heart attack
His mother said NO
He felt they should be proud of him
He was the one who was wrong with the
heist thing and she was the one who did
the right thing
Her intervention saved him from becoming
a criminal
She was the one that did the right thing
He preached and begged
His parents said NO
He asked the brother in jeans and T-shirt
to intervene
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt looked
the othr way
It was a tough battle
By December 2018, they decided to 
break up
The relationship was going nowhere
He met another lady in February 2019
They met in church
He proposed to her in May 2019
When his former girlfriend heard, she
called the brother in Jeans and T-shirt
she lamented all night
She said that was the one thing about 
him that didn't change
He never knew how to fight for her
and side with her against his parents
He was a caver, who always caves in
to his parent's demands!

The End

PS: This story was difficult to write
It happened between 2011 and 2019
It happened in Ibadan, Oyo State
The brother is married with a child
The sister is still single and I believe
God will settle her in her own home
very soon
There is something about this story
I wrote it three times trying not to
make it look as if she did something
wrong
I hope it came off that way

GSW's notes: Whisteblowers and 
Traitors are two peas in a pod
Like Judas and Peter in one team
I still wonder how Jesus coped
You can never see a traitor the same
way after the deed is done
It is a smear for life
A badge of honour to some and a 
mark of reproach to another

This story is especially written with
my brother and Friend Fisoye Kolawole
in mind
Congratulations brother
You were right and I was wrong!