Securing The Future

Securing The Future

 My father got married at 21, and my mum was 20. They were not NEPO babies, but they both came from comfortable backgrounds. When I compare their life with the stories of most of the young men and young women I know who, like me, got married in our thirties. I concluded that early marriage is the best. Amassing body counts is a direct product of late marriages. I am not saying people in those days were absolute puritans, but they dated with the mindset of getting married. In today's world, many date just for dating’s sake. In my lifetime, terms like "We were just sleeping with each other," "I told him that if I get pregnant, I am keeping it," "I like his whatever, the way it hits me is different, but I don’t plan to marry him.” "She is just a girl I sleep with when I am bored.” "The baby is not mine. I admit that I slept with her, but those of us who slept with her were many.” "She is a club girl, you know, someone to pass around with the drinks.” "I don’t want to marry him, I sleep with him so that I don’t sink into depression.” "We have a friends with benefits arrangement.” "He is married, but I like him and sleep with him, but I am not his side chick. He is just an occasional riding partner.” "He is engaged, I know his babe, but I had nobody else looking in my direction, so I just sleep with him while he is still available. I can’t sleep with him once he gets married.” “I didn’t have enough money to get an accommodation, and I cannot stay on the street, so I moved in with him and we became live-in lovers for three years until he graduated or moved to another city.” I cannot fully express all the things I have heard from both men and women in their late twenties and thirties! While I am not saying teenagers are holier or that those in their early twenties are better, I understand that at that age, most people really look for love and try to find it. The quest for economic stability and financial independence was the reason for the delay of many from getting married. Men couldn't get jobs on time, and ladies couldn't wait forever, especially when they had options from other men who desired them but couldn't have them legally. Life is about supply and demand, and where there is legitimate demand, if there is no legitimate supply, nature will come up with smuggled supplies and other contraband. When my friends from more comfortable backgrounds graduated from Bowen University, the majority of them got married early. The ladies got married between 21 and 25, and the guys got married between 25 and 27. Most of them are still happily married, and their marriages are stable. It is those of us who came from the poor side of the divide that had to wait and wait for things to get better before thinking of marriage. In the process of waiting, there was a lot of trial and error as regarding relationships and as a result, the number of bodies kept growing. In the last ten years, the lowest body count I have seen has doubled from what it used to be between 2010 and 2020. People are now hitting double digits, and some would even tell you they have lost count. If you remove the environmental and poverty from the equation, most of them wouldn’t even meet many of the guys and ladies they slept with in this lifetime. They would be on school runs instead of wearing skimpy pick-me-up attire at thirty-something! The men would be taking their family out on picnics and family weekend instead of scrolling through the "pick a baddie" app at 38. The level of sexual behaviour from both males and females of this generation is directly influenced by poverty. We couldn't settle down on time, and nobody can cheat nature, so we all did what we believed we had to do in order to keep our sanity. Recovery from this situational conditioning after we had gotten the financial situation under control has also been a challenge. Some of the men get married, but their memories of luscious nights between previous thighs keep plaguing them. They keep looking at some phone numbers and can’t stop remembering experiences they shouldn't have had if not for the situation they were in while poor. The same is true for ladies. You date a guy, he is rich and well established, but he is married with children You didn’t date him because you loved him You slept with him because he offered you some incentives When you were getting married, you invited him because you felt he would give you some financial support In some cases, you even name him the chairman of your wedding. These decisions were influenced by poverty! Your neighbourhood, your social class, and who you associate with all contribute to your financial situation and mentality. Only poor people should be single into their thirties and forties, in my opinion. The exception to this should be those who don’t desire to be married. If you plan to get married and you are financially stable, you should get married when your body says to do so. The male body is most sexually virile at 25, and therefore, the male should be married from the age of twenty. He does not need to use all his strength to service a lady he won’t get married to. So that years later, the lady keeps dreaming of him after he had gotten married to another woman, and he keeps dreaming of her after she had gotten married to another man. The same applies to the ladies, the younger they are after the age of eighteen, the stronger their eggs are and the better their performance sexwise. If you spend all those productive years on strange beds, only to start complaining of fibroids, PCOS, cysts, hormonal issues, and poor menses after getting married. How fair do you think your assessment of the situation is? Please don’t let me talk about all the abortions youths have when they are young, only to want to kill pastors with prayer requests when they get married in their thirties. The little I have seen of life is instructional enough in my opinion. Early marriage is good for society at large. My grandmother is seeing her fourth generation at the moment, and she is still alive. Imagine that my parents got married early and our children are ten years older than they are now? My grandmother would have been seeing her fifth generation by now! While I know that one cannot solve all the complex issues of relationships or marriages simply by marrying early, I can boldly say that early marriage with good financial backing from both sides works better than all the late marriages with traumatized couples trying to cope with each other that I am seeing nowadays. Generational wealth is my lot in Christ. My grandchildren will rule the world if Jesus tarries. The earlier they come, the earlier their courses are set for the future. Trust Fund and well-set leadership courses are the future, I declare for them. I see tomorrow, and I am setting the course for it.