The Issue With Second Chances

The Issue With Second Chances

 When a partner strays in a relationship, his or her best chance of preserving the relationship is to keep that indiscretion a secret. Once it is known, the relationship will be over forever.

The one who strayed will forever be thinking that his or her partner will hold it over his or her head one way or the other as their relationship progresses. The one that didn't stray will struggle with forgiving the spouse and even after he or she must have done that, trust issues will creep in. It is a slippery slope, the partner that strayed will eventually decide to start on a clean note with someone else who cannot use their indiscretion against them.

 The partner that was cheated on will also decide it is best to start afresh with someone else since he or she cannot see this partner in the same light anymore. On rare occasions, the partners discuss the issues and decide to give it another go this is where maturity, understanding, forgiveness, wisdom and courage come into play.

 Most times, the partner that was cheated upon may begin to exhibit insecure traits Asking questions like "Where are you coming from", and "Who were you with?" "I want to see your chat", "Who dropped you off?" "Why are you always lying?" Even in their silence sometimes, the partner that was cheated upon is all arms up in protestation. He or she learns over time to deal with it.

However, the ghost of a cheating experience never really dies, it affects everything and taints everything. The one cheated upon would look at himself or herself and question what he or she did or did not do right, the one that cheated did it of his or her own free will and it really has nothing to do with the other partner but the questions will still pop up.

Some partners develop a pattern from this point once they cheat and they see that their partner did not make much of an issue of it, they become serial cheats knowing their partner can tolerate it.

Some partners however stop cheating after that one time but they answer for that indiscretion all their lives as their partner in a bid to revenge begins to cheat on them in revenge. There are all sorts of evil in Pandora's box when it comes to unfaithfulness and its consequences on relationships.

It is best not to open that box at all, Always remember this.

 -GSW-