The Most Defining Week Of Our Lives!

He: When I met my wife, she was in that space where some ladies find themselves after waiting for Mr. Right to show up for many years, and he didn't.

In between waiting, she met a guy whom she was dating

It was nothing serious

For her, he was the cure to boredom in the place of waiting

For him, she was someone to hang around with while trying to sort his life out

Then I arrived on the scene.

She was attending a conference in South Africa, and I was a silent investor in a particular startup, and I wanted to see how the company I invested in would do on the international stage

She was one of the delegates sent by the company to represent her interests at the international conference.

We got talking.

I didn't disclose to her that I had any interest in the company she was working for

I just wanted to pick her brain and engage her on the knowledge of what the company does.

It is true that she was easy on the eyes, but beyond her pretty face, I needed to test how knowledgeable she was

We got talking for hours, and somewhere in between our engaging discussion, I realised I wanted to marry her.

It was a thought that struck me like a bolt.

I mean, I was seeing a lady, but we had an arrangement of sorts, and the arrangement didn't include marriage.

She liked her independence and wanted the male company for other reasons

I hated being alone, but didn't want to get into any emotionally draining relationship

The arrangement was working perfectly fine for both of us.

From the moment I realised I wanted to marry her, I stopped hearing her analysis and intellectual points.

At a point, I just said, "I would like to marry you".

I paused

Her mouth hung open

She smiled, and she said, "Where did that come from?"

I said It just dawned on me that if she is free and willing to be married, i will like to be her husband.

She looked at me and said, "Can I have some time to think about it?"

I said, "Sure, can we do dinner tomorrow?"

She said yes.

I saw her off to the elevator as she left for her room, and I went off to my room

It felt like I was walking on a cloud.

She said: I knew he was an investor in the company I work for

I knew everything about him

I had attended his online classes and his YouTube videos on marketing, money market, investment, and innovative Ideation.

He was just five years older than me, and I was indirectly working for him

I saw him as a role model, and I had been informed by our MD that he might show up at the Conference we were attending in South Africa

I never thought of him in terms of marriage.

I knew he was not married, but I was not naive.

He was way out of my league, and I know it.

I have been in one form of relationship or another throughout my university days

As it so happens, after my graduation from the University, I realised the number and quality of men available for marriage was way less than I had imagined.

Sometimes, to find a man to chat with and talk to, even without the promise of marriage, seemed a hard task.

What was on offer was a form of sex trade-off.

The men want to take you out for one night of thrills, which will end with you warming their bed and then nothing.

I was not built for that kind of life

Home girl, living with my parents, no wild parties, no clubbing, a lot of church, and a lot of lonely nights surfing the internet, reading, and thinking about my life.

My relationship with the guy I was with was just an excuse to have a plus-one for some events, or not die of boredom

So you can imagine how his proposition to marry me was a gut punch.

My affairs were not nearly as tidy as I would want them to be.

I got to my room and thought about his proposal all night

I half expected him to call my hotel room and say he made a mistake, or to call my phone, or send me a text saying it was a prank

The next day came, and I dressed for dinner slowly

There were many things to consider...

I got downstairs, and he was waiting for me

We went to dinner, and it was the best night of my life

I fell for him.

I didn't fall emotionally or blindly.

I fell for him intentionally and loved him also intentionally

He proposed and gave me an engagement ring that same night

He said he wanted the marriage within a week.

I didn't even know how to tell my parents and siblings

They didn't know I was seeing anyone

I accepted the ring, but I couldn't wear it once I left his presence

I kept it in my handbag until I got home

The next day, he arrived at our house with his parents and siblings

My parents met them, and that was the introduction

We got married the next Saturday.

We left for our honeymoon on Sunday.

He: While we were on the beach in Belize, her phone rang

As soon as she picked I saw it was a male voice

I stood up beside her to give her some privacy

I heard the guy saying, "Where are you? When can we meet up?"

My wife said, "I am married now. Please don't call this number again."

The guy said, "What sort of mad joke is that? I have bought your favourite pizza, and I am on the way to your house. Are you home?"

My wife said, "I am serious. Please stop calling me. I am married now." And she dropped the call.

She: I panicked when I saw his call.

My head was on my husband's chest as we sat by the beach after a swim

It was the most ill-timed call of all times

I would have ignored the call, but the ringing tone already disturbed the serenity we were experiencing, and I knew he would keep calling if I didn't pick

When I picked, i started talking in low tones, I hated that

The man on the other line, however, didn't know that my life had changed within a week.

The last time I saw him was the day before I travelled to South Africa

We celebrated my first international trip breakthrough together

He wouldn't have imagined that ten days later I would be married and on honeymoon in Belize.

Anyway, after the call, I had to then tell my husband who he was and why I was not so free to talk to him in my husband's presence

My husband laughed and said his former situationship lady was equally shocked when she heard he had gotten married.

That was our most defining week of my life to date.

Tayo and Toke Benson,

Illinois

-GSW-