Traumatized

She was sexually abused 
by her uncle, her mother's 
brother. 
He was the last born of 
her mother's parents. 
Her mother took him in 
when she got married. 
She was close to that uncle 
as a child. 
He bought her goodies a lot 
and she liked him naturally. 
She was around six years 
when it started. 
The uncle would make her 
suck his penis. 
Sometimes she sucks until 
he released sperm in her 
mouth. 
He would threaten her not 
to tell anyone. 
To make matters worse she 
was a stammerer. 
Her sisters were hard on 
her because she stammered. 
They shut her up if she takes 
more than five seconds to 
say a word properly. 
Sometimes she got a resetting 
slap when it took too long. 
They believed she was 
stammering deliberately and 
with punishment she will stop 
and speak normally. 
Considering the frustration 
and suffering she would 
go through to explain what 
was happening to her, she 
kept mute. 
He usually carried out his 
evil deed during the 
"homework" time, early 
evening. 
Her father would be at work, 
the mother at the shop, and 
the two older siblings would
be assisting the mother in 
the shop. 
No one ever thought the 
uncle was molesting the 
little princess of the house. 
He passed her on to his friend, 
who lived in the same 
compound with them. 
The friend would show her 
a book full of naked men 
and women having sex in 
various positions. 
He would dip his finger into 
her vagina and pull her hand 
to rub his penis. 
Both her uncle and his friend 
were teenagers in secondary school in those days. 
The abuse from both teenagers
went on for about a year until 
her mother left the house. 
The uncle left with her. 
That ended the episodes with 
the uncle
The friend continued until 
her father stopped working 
to take care of her and her 
sisters. 
Her father never let his girls 
out of his sight for more than 
a minute. 
He always wanted to know 
where they were and what 
they were doing at all times. 
This reduced the episodes of
 the friend until it eventually stopped. 
After a few years, they left 
the house for another place. 
As she grew older, the 
ugly memory affected her. 
Since the day it started, 
she was always gathering 
saliva in her mouth. 
Her father scolded her for 
this several times. 
Then she started spitting everywhere like a pregnant 
woman. 
She was taken to see a 
doctor because everyone 
thought something was wrong 
with her gland or system. 
The best suggestion that 
was given was to deworm 
her. 
Despite a frequent deworming 
she was always spitting 
saliva everywhere as a 
child. 
Gradually she learned to 
swallow her saliva and 
later stopped being conscious 
of the saliva. 
She became rigid and 
would stiffened up whenever 
she was around boys. 
She attended a missionary 
school for girls only both in 
the primary and secondary 
school. 
All teachers and staffs in 
her primary school were 
women. 
Even the security at the gate 
was a woman. 
She was fondly called 
"Mama Gate". 
When she got to secondary 
school, there were a few 
male teachers. 
She avoided them like the 
plague. 
She never attended any 
inter-school activities where 
boys would be present. 
Cases of rape were reported 
at every inter-house sport of 
the school then, such that 
the principal eventually 
cancelled the inter house 
sport competiton of the 
school.
She dared to talk about the 
abuse with the accountant 
of the audit firm where she 
did her industrial attachment 
after her national diploma 
studies. 
The man blamed her for 
allowing it to happen and not 
tell anyone. 
That made her keep quiet 
more on the matter. 
She was in her late teens 
then. 
She just closed up and never 
told anyone again. 

Afterwards, she read books 
and articles on sexual abuse 
and getting over the trauma. 
It was a self-therapy for her.
 It helped her become free 
of the trauma any time 
she remembered it.
The uncle died while she was 
still in primary school. 
He was a cultist. 
He died while in a clash with 
rival cultists. 
When she had come of age 
and understood what he and 
his friend did to her was an 
abuse, she was happy he 
died and wished his friend 
dead too wherever he was. 
That was then. 
She wishes otherwise now.
She wishes the uncle was 
saved. 
She hoped to meet the 
friend someday if he was 
alive.
Abusers are sick and need 
healing. 
Jesus came for them to
If only they will surrender 
to Christ and be free. 
Is justice the only thing 
that Christians should pray 
for when it comes to rape 
and abuse? 
Should we pray for a David 
among those rapists 
whose salvation might 
shock and change his 
community upside down 
with the Gospel? 
This is not a contradictory 
prayer to which I say, 
“Amen.” 

We ought to pray for the 
Gospel to spread quickly, 
and that there may be a 
changed Saul or a changed 
Moses or a changed thief 
on the cross. 
At the same time we ought 
to pray, remembering the 
victims, for justice against 
those who perpetrate 
wickedness. 
Praying for God’s justice 
over perpetrators – and that 
they may turn to Christ – 
aren’t contradictory prayers, because salvation doesn’t 
mean turning an eye away 
from justice. 
We are, after all, the people 
of the cross where justice 
and mercy meets.
My sincere prayer for the 
abused;
I pray that God meets you 
in your pain, anger, hatred 
and suffering. 
The Lord is your refuge 
and strength. 
Almighty God shall comfort 
and heal you. 
The light of God shall shine through you.
I pray for the abuser; 
May you know the love of 
God. 
May you find peace in the 
Lord. 
Your heart shall soften so 
that you can find peace and 
learn to understand and live 
more for God. 
You will come to know God 
for only in Him can wickedness 
be cleansed from the heart.
Your sins of the past are 
cleansed through Christ Jesus 
our Lord and Saviour. 
May you come to know God 
so that all unrighteousness 
can be washed away. 
May you know God's true love 
and forgiveness.
In Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.

Abike, 2020