Vexed

His bride-to-be ordered her wedding gown from Italy

The bridal shop she ordered it through promised the gown will be delivered a week to the wedding

They had paid for the wedding gown in full

He had his reservations about spending so much on a wedding gown

A gown she would most likely never wear again in her lifetime

But he was told it was the most important day of her life

She gets to do whatever she wanted

Even though they didn't have so much money

They had managed to get an apartment

He had bought a 47 inches flat screen television

He had installed cable and subscribed for a year

He had bought the largest mattress he could find

She also insisted he must buy a deep freezer

He did all that

She paid for the gown herself

The gown was supposed to arrive on time for fitting and adjustment before the wedding

Every other thing was set

His parents had arrived from their base in America

Her folks had also flown in from the United Kingdom

She had been calling the lady running the bridal shop everyday to ensure she would not be left clutching at straws

Her man was a good man, though a little impatient

He seemed not to understand the importance of the event to her

She was the first daughter in her extended family to be getting married

It was as if her family (maternal and paternal) had a problem with marriage

All her cousins and aunties were either living with their partners, single parents or unmarried

She noticed the trend since she was in secondary school

The three that attempted to get married met with shocking results

One of her uncles slumped and died during the introduction of one of her aunts

Right inside the sitting room while the occasion was going on

The introduction was postponed and the man refused to marry her aunt afterwards

He was sure their family was under a spell

Her first cousin was also having her introduction when a family feud broke out

one of her uncles had collected money to buy a cow and diverted the fund

The others heard about it and it became a fisticuff affair

Introduction was postponed and the couple fizzled apart afterwards

She had just finished secondary school when disaster struck the third time

Her immediate elder brother was getting married

They started cooking on Friday

By 8am Saturday morning they had all dressed up to head for the church service when his phone rang

It was his bride to be

She sent him a message urging him not to go to church for the wedding

She had eloped with her Chilean lover whom she met at work

She was very sorry and wish him the best

He showed the message to their father and disappeared into his room for three days

By the time he emerged, he swore he would never get married again

All he was doing since then was picking and smashing babes of all types and colour

Their mother was always praying one of them would get pregnant

She desperately wanted a grandchild and would take it however it comes

When she got to the University, she told her best friend what she noticed

Her best friend told her she should take matters into her own hands

"Don't trust to fate or hope for a better outcome, if you want to be married one day, you must pray"

She thought about it and decided it was a very good advice

She started praying about her marital destiny

She left the church her parents and family members had always attended

It was a popular church with very wide reach but her case needed more intense prayers than they were offering

She became a born again Christian, started praying in tongues

She was determined her case would be different

And it seemed it would be

She met her man four years after she graduated

He was a rising star in the media industry

She was working with a public relations outfit

He came to their office seeking for a partnership with the firm

She knew from the moment she saw him that the butterflies in her belly were signs of things to come

By the time he asked her out, she had been waiting for it for two weeks

He proposed a year later

Wedding preparations began in earnest

She saw the gown in a magazine and was determined to wear it

But the order refused to arrive on the day she was promised it would

She tried very hard not to be agitated

She was afraid her husband-to-be could see it as an omen and walk away

As they sat at the bridal shop waiting for the Madam to explain what happened

She realised she was most likely going to lose her cool

She weighed her option

"This is the devil at work! I must be calm, i must not lose my cool" she told herself

When the Madam eventually arrived, she was as cool as a cucumber

She gritted her teeth and swallowed her angst

But the madam took her coolness to mean all was well

She could read the woman's body language

She felt she needed to show the woman she really wasn't finding it funny

She thought about it

She told her man she was hungry, "could he please go to the eatery down the street and get her something to eat?"

Her man was more than glad to oblige, he was uncomfortable sitting for that long with her in the bridal shop

He hated waiting for anything!

Once he left, she sprang to her feet and vented her fury

It was as if a crouching tiger was let loose on the hunt

The madam made a mistake of talking back to her!

It wasn't a rush of blood to the head

It was a race of blood to the head

By the time her eyes cleared she had slapped the madam twice!

The madam's assistants restrained her

The madam told them not to touch her

The madam called her husband

Within ten minutes soldiers had arrived at the shop

She was bundled into a vehicle and taken away

One week to her wedding!

The devil won that round!!!

She was taken right into the barracks

Thrown out of the vehicle and made to do frog jumps and serve other punishments

The soldiers kept asking her to call her man

They were afraid she was too fragile for the drilling she was being put through

"Call your man, let him come here and bail you out"

But she knew what would happen if she did

He would be beaten black and blue

He or his family would hear what happened

He would call off the wedding

She would become another example of a failed wedding in the family

She was determined she would die first

Within one hour, her legs could barely stand

She collapsed in a heap

Mercilessly, they told her to kneel down and lift up a rock

The devil had long left her to her fate

The anger, angst, rage, vexation, blood in the head everything had evaporated

She was there until 6pm

The madam arrived with her man!

As soon as she saw him she started crying

Her worst nightmare had come true, the wedding would be called off

Her man looked at her

He had been told everything she did

He walked up to her and pulled her up

"No matter what you did, nobody has a right to treat you this way" He whispered to her

He turned to the madam, can i take her away now? I promise you I will deal with her

The madam told the soldiers to let her go

Her man carried her to the car

She saw the wedding gown in the passenger seat beside him in the front

He drove her away from there silently

When they got to her house he took her into her parents house and told them what happened

He left without a word!

Nobody could console her afterwards

She laid on her bed sobbing inconsolably

She dropped the ball!

Two days later her man resurfaced

He didn't tell anybody in his family what happened

She was so relieved and gracious for the second chance

The next saturday, donning the wedding gown she ordered from Italy

They got married!

He told her he came back because he was convinced she loved him

"If you dont love me you would have called me when the soldiers asked you to

You would have made them deal with me but you suffered alone!"

She smiled and kissed him

Unwilling to tell him the real reason she didn't call him

PS: This event happened in Ikeja, Lagos in 2015

The couple are still happily married with a child

Beware of anger

Either justified or not

Only fools delight in their anger

The wise strives to live far above such petty emotions