Afomo

She reminded herself over and over again 
as she got dressed to go and meet with him 
in his hotel she had nothing to lose 
It could be friendship, a one night stand, 
or a short term relationship 
She knew it couldn’t lead to marriage 
She had accepted her fate and she had 
resolved not to do the emotional thing
with men again! 
She had always been on the losing end
 Since she was sixteen when she started dating 
and twenty-two when she started having sex 
until she was thirty-five!
She had lost count of all the men that had 
come across as real prospects and left her 
wetting her pillow with tears! 
She wanted to get married 
She needed to get married 
She hated being alone 
And yet, as good as God has been to her in 
other aspects of her life, she was a total joke 
when it came to picking the right man! 
She always ended up getting dumped! 
When she was younger, she would
Shrug it off but as she grew older it became 
a concern! 
She never dated anybody for more than 
six months 
Something would always happen 
Somebody would see a vision 
He would travel abroad 
He would meet another babe 
They would have sex and he would vanish 
into thin air 
It was always something or the other 
The last experience she had, 
she met the guy at her church 
He was pleasant and seriously looking to 
settle down 
She really liked him 
They dated for six months 
One evening he called her to call the 
relationship off 
That was their best week together ever! 
She called him to ask why he was dumping her 
He told her he always felt unsettled around her 
He couldn’t explain the feeling but he would 
advise her to do something about it! 
She told him she would do whatever he wanted 
but they really did not need to break up 
He told her it was over
Just like that! 
She went to her mother in tears 
“Mummy, why are you looking at my life
 as if you do not care? 
Other mothers would make inquiries for 
their daughters, other mothers would 
pray for their daughters, 
other mothers would care about their 
daughter being single at this
age! 
But you don’t show any concern about 
my situation! 
I had become the laughing stock of the 
community 
Why aren’t you doing anything to help me? 
Her mother was shocked at her outburst 
But her mother was not really moved 
Her mother told her to sit down 
Her mother said “You will never be married! 
I have gone to many places for consultation 
on your matter! 
Jut as my mother went to make consultations 
on my issue too! 
I was told we are (Afomo) meaning mistletoes 
in our family! 
We grow at the most unexpected places and 
thrive but only as parasites 
Have you ever seen any member of our family 
get married and settle down to bear the name 
of a man? 
Did I not get pregnant with you for a married man 
the same way my mother got pregnant with me 
for a married man? 
I have brought you up to be independent and 
you have a good job! 
When you are ready to have a child 
Get pregnant for a man and bring the child home 
We have everything it takes to raise a child
 That is how it is in this family 
Our destiny is different 
Once you know the things you can have and 
cannot have, you will no longer waste time pinning 
Wow
Her mother had never said a word to her! 
She had introduced several boyfriends to her 
mother hoping that the guys will see it as a 
sign of her seriousness and stay
They never did
She wished her mother had told her the truth 
before then 
But she had always desired to be married!
Her mother was a single parent and she really 
did the best she could to train her and raise 
her right 
But she had never seen herself as complete 
without a man! 
She wanted her own husband 
She really wanted to get married! 
But her mother’s words made sense, 
she had never ever seen
Any of their relatives who were married! 
The males have children with someone 
and the females also have children with 
someone! 
She had done three abortions because 
she didn’t want that life for herself! 
But she knew somehow that her mother 
had told her the hard truth! 
It hurts!
She decided to pick a man to get pregnant 
with She had always had several married men 
making overtures at her 
If she was going to eat a frog, she would 
patiently select one that had extra incentives!
 After a lot of soul searching, she arrived at a 
candidate 
He was tall and had a very mild temperament! 
She didn’t tell him her plans 
She wanted to get pregnant first and then 
inform him of her decision to keep and raise 
the child by herself! 
She told her mother all about it 
Her mother told her she was in full support! 
She sent her target a text message
He called back within minutes 
His bait had finally caught her fish 
He asked her where they should meet 
She told him a nearby restaurant 
They met and talked 
They agreed to meet a hotel the following day 
and have some fun 
She would be ovulating on that day 
It was very strategic
She got back home 
Her former boyfriend called 
He said he met someone he would like 
her to talk to 
He said he had taken the liberty of sending 
her phone number to the person 
The person is not a pastor 
He was just a brother who shares stories on 
Twitter! 
She thanked him and dropped
The call! 
Her phone rang a few minutes later 
It was the brother in Jeans and T-shirt 
He said somebody sent him a DM on Twitter 
that she needed help 
He asked her how he could be of help! 
She really didn’t want to say anything 
This was a total stranger at the end of 
the phone call!
But she talked 
She asked him a lot of questions 
Eventually she felt comfortable enough 
and told him how she always had the 
worst possible luck with men 
She also told him about her mother’s revelation 
But she didn’t say anything about her plans 
and the man she was stringing along
He told her it was impossible for her to be 
a mistletoe! 
Mistletoes are parasitic plants that grow off trees,
you are a human being! 
Your mother had lied to you! He insisted 
She told him about all her relatives and 
how nobody ever got engaged not to 
talk of getting married!
He just laughed and laughed 
He said “I can prove that you are not a mistletoe 
and that nobody was made to be a mistletoe 
but the mistletoe itself 
How? She asked him 
Are you a believer? He asked her 
She told him she became an emergency 
believer because of a brother she once dated
But it didn’t work out and she now went 
to church only once in a while! 
He led her to Christ and prayed with her 
that God will settle her in her own home 
within the next nine months! 
She said “Amen” 
He rang off! 
The next day she dressed very well 
and set out for the hotel
She got to the hotel’s restaurant on time 
They had agreed to meet for 5pm 
She waited for him 
She called his phone numbers 
His phones were switched off 
At about 7pm, she went to the restroom to 
freshen up and took her leave 
Just as she was getting to her car, a man 
approached her
The man wanted her phone number 
When she got home, the man called 
They started chatting at about 10 pm 
They chatted all night 
He came into Lagos for a business 
He was lodged in that hotel 
He asked her to come and see him the 
next day 
She got to the hotel at 7pm
He met her at the restaurant 
They ate and talked 
He saw her off at 9 pm 
Later that night, he invited her over again 
They ate and talked 
He told her he was a farmer 
He was in the hotel for a meeting with 
some clients but the clients had been 
delayed for three days 
He just needed some human company! 
He was bored sitting alone in his room 
when he saw her in the restaurant that 
first day he assumed she was on a date 
until she started to leave! 
She told him she came to the hotel for a 
date and got stood up 
Somehow they connected 
He had his meeting the next day and returned 
to Akure 
They kept chatting and calling each other 
He returned to Lagos a month later and 
told her he wanted to marry her 
She didn’t tell anybody 
Even her mother
She was sure he was lying and would run away 
Mistletoes do not get permanent homes 
He didn’t run away! 
Wow!
They got married on February 17, 2019, in Lagos! 
God has blessed their union with a baby boy! 
Her mother kept saying "So and so, you broke the jinx"

Ps: A man once told me humankind cane from 
Rock, Clay, Sand, and water! 
He was an educated guy
I had to just shake my head 
You are made by God, created only in His image 
You are the crowning glory of all his creations 
and he rated you more highly than angels 
If you are a born again Christian, you are of a 
different species entirely in your glory! 
As God has defined you, so be!