I have a teacher and a friend whom I respect so much
He lectured me and taught me in the University
He was married to a lawyer, he was a joyful lad
Then things went off course for him
I remember visiting him at his house in Surulere in the company of Jay Jay (A mutual friend and his student)
He was different: quiet, sad, morose
I am very much younger than him and my friend had told me of this lecturer's travails
His fine "Yoruba" wife had left him
She was a lawyer and the mother of his two children
I can’t say what happened to their marriage because I didn't know
Some speculated that he cheated
Others said she left him because she outgrew him in the marriage
She was a lawyer, he was a lecturer
She was based in Lagos, he was based in another state
Such distance does not help a marriage
He was from the south-east
I loved him
When I saw him that day, I almost burst into tears
Sorrow had done a number on him
He was a shadow of himself: quiet, reflective, sober, and as dark as a shadow
What was I supposed to say to him?
In what capacity does the young get into the affairs of the old?
We went to his church together- a new church
He used to be a member of the Baptist church but as a result of the divorce he changed churches
He started attending a Pentecostal church
I knew he was drowning: sorrow is like a puddle, once you get into it, you are dead!
When I got home that day, I did what I would never do again
I wrote a glowing tribute to him and tagged all the members of his family I knew on Facebook
I got a backlash, plenty of it, "Why are you tagging us with him?" they said
They didn't see that I was calling their attention to the pain I saw in my brother
I didn't care
He wrote to me and said, "What are you doing?"
I said, “I am trying to help sir, when I saw you, I knew you needed to see how the world like to see people become sad and remain sad. I want you to be happy. I want you to be joyful. Sir, I want you to be you!
He said, "Sowemimo, (This was the name I used to bear then) you have tried your best, please let me rest.
I refused to let my brother rest
He deserved to live, to enjoy and rejoice
“So, what if your wife left you? She wouldn’t be the first and she wouldn’t be the last
Even if you dropped the ball, even if you are in the wrong, it is life
We all play it and sometimes you sink doing so
It is my job to bring you to life, I shouldn't be casting stones”
So, I came on Twitter and repeated my antics
I wrote a story about him and tagged all those I knew bearing his name
The backlash was vehement
Many who were supposed to be on his side by blood took exceptions to his "conduct"
They wanted him to suffer so that he will learn his lesson
But I just wanted him to live
I wrote another story about him, from my own eyes, not minding the things I had heard
I wanted him to see his worth to me
So, I posted it and itemized his qualities
He was the best teacher I ever had and Yes! he still is the best teacher I have ever had in the flesh
He read it and he cried
He is my brother, my teacher, and my friend
He found love again
He married a beautiful damsel from the south-east
He thrived! Oh, my world! My brother thrived
He began to pop up in cities of the world: New York, London, Poland, Amsterdam, France
I am the happiest of all
My brother found joy again
He found music in his heart again
He found love, not just the love of another woman but the love that transforms
He found Christ!
Christ, the center of all joys!
What are you going through today? What is the pain you are holding on to? Drop it!
Jesus said we should exchange our burden for his own
His burden is light. He is full of joy and life. You should be full of him. Hallelujah!
There are many things that can break the human spirit; Eros (love) is one of them
You must learn to snap out of the cesspool a broken marriage or relationship drags you into
You must be above board, in charge!
It is your life and you are responsible for your present reality
Your past may be dreary and dry, your parents may be poor and you might have gone to the wrong schools. You might have grown up on the street and been exposed to many perversions; but that was your past
Today, you are in Christ. You are in charge now through the Holy Spirit.
You are in charge of your own life.
You are responsible for your today and tomorrow
Take a hold of this! You must live in order to live
There must be life within before you think of living
I urge you to live
Fight to live a full life of joy and glory
Fight depression! Fight suppression! Fight oppression!
Fight, Fight, Fight for joy
Make it your default
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