Billing and Cooing

Billing and Cooing

He was the one

The one who sighted her from afar

The one who was totally smitten by her beauty

The one who dreamt about her in his arms

The one who panted after her with the whole of his heart

He was the one


He was the one

The one who drew near to her

The one who smiled at her and hoped she would see his heart

The one who looked intently into her eyes hoping to see her heart

The one whose lips got stuck to the roof of his mouth

The one who lacked the confident to say his mind

The one who didn’t have game

The one who was a sissy

He was the one

The one who made up for his lack of confidence with care

The one who bought her gifts

The one who gave her money

The one who offered his shoulder for her to lean on and cry on

The hero without a game

They wrote their final exams and he knew he wouldn’t survive without her

He needed to say his mind and fast

He ran to his friend,” The guy”

The guy was an undergraduate

The guy was dating his cousin

The guy got “game”

Ladies want to be in the guy’s trousers

Even his own younger sisters drool over the guy

He knew the guy would get the job done

He knew the guy had what it took

He told the guy his dilemma

“I want this girl to be mine

I don’t know why I cannot tell her myself

I know how tough my cousin was

How determined she was that she wouldn’t date anybody before she turned 18

You were sleeping with her at 17 years and nine months

Just three months to her target for dating

And two weeks after meeting her

You have game!

Please talk to this babe on my behalf

Tell her how much I love her

Finish the job!

I will give you this and that”

The guy agreed

He took the guy to her house

The guy got to work

His babe was smiling, laughing and giggling in no time

He was watching television

Waiting for the guy to call him and tell him “Job done’’

Five minutes, ten minutes, thirty minutes

He went to check on them

His babe and his guy had disappeared

He panicked!

Disappearance was not part of the deal

He was supposed to talk to his babe so that he can be doing the disappearing with the girl

He waited and waited

After two hours he went home

He told his cousin what happened

He was very heart broken

He cried

His cousin was so in love with the guy

His cousin didn’t believe him

The guy arrived at his cousin’s house in the evening

The guy greeted him as if he didn’t owe him an explanation

The guy hugged his cousin and even kissed her

He couldn’t stomach it

He locked the guy

“Where did you go with my girlfriend?”

Where did you guys disappear to

The guy was shocked by his violent behavior

The guy calmed him down

Told him the babe said she wanted some ice-cream

He took her to get some ice-cream and they went for a walk afterwards

The lady enjoyed his company

They didn’t do anything untoward

He felt relieved, he released the guy’s clothes

He went to the babe’s house

The babe talked on and on about the guy

It was as if she thought he came there to rehash her adventure with him

How could God be this biased

How come he couldn’t get a girl to look at him even when he was standing right in front of her

But the guy could get many girls talking about him and longing for him at the same time

How unfair is that?

He gave up on the chase entirely

What would be the point of having a girlfriend, If she would always be talking so amorously about another guy to him?

He gained admission into the University

Kept away from babes all together

He faced his studies

The guy graduated

He graduated

His cousin graduated

The guy married someone else

His cousin married someone else

He started praying that God will being him his own wife

One day he met her inside the Bus Rapid Transit

The same lady

His first love

He was returning home from work

She was returning home from work

She sat beside him

She recognized him

She was the first person to call his name

He looked at her

He noticed that she adjusted herself

She was acting like a lady beside him

She used to be so carefree around him

As if she was sure he didn’t even have the guts to touch her if she was stark naked

But now…

That was the first thing he noticed

His evolution right in her very eyes

It felt so good

They exchanged numbers

She called first


She called again the next morning

She wanted to know if he was free

He met with her

They talked

She didn’t mention the guy at all

She saw him, really looked at him with that eyes!

That eyes a girl uses to look at a guy she longs for

That eyes that says “Come and do”


They caught up, they laughed together, they jelled

Two weeks later, in his flat

He made his move cautiously, he needed to know how far she was willing to go

She jumped at it, like a crouching tiger

He still didn’t know what was going on

He: I know how you used to treat me like a lap puppy in those days, I was sure you knew how I felt about you and yet you ignored my feelings for you and did everything to get rid of me, even to the extent of disappearing with my cousin’s boyfriend for almost a whole day. How come you are all lovey-dovey with me now?

She: I wasn’t ready for anything serious then. We were just getting out of secondary school. I have a future I needed to settle before talking seriously about a relationship. Throughout my university days, I always pray to God that I would meet a man as caring as loving as you. I never did. I thought I had abused my chance until I met you again. I am sorry for how I treated you in those days. I wanted to have you around me but not as a boyfriend. I wasn’t ready!

He believed her!

He had feared she was desperate and was settling for him because she couldn’t get anybody better, but her explanation made sense to him

He proposed to her three months later

They got married eighteen months later

The guy was his best man

His cousin was her chief bridesmaid

They were the one who began as if there would never be a future

They were the ones that married each other!