Everybody has a thing
Nobody is perfect
Some people are compulsive liars, they just couldn’t help but lie
Even when the truth would benefit them, they would lie!
His own weakness was ‘humping’
It didn’t matter if the person he humped is blind, lame, leprous or deaf
It didn’t matter if such a person was 13 or 73
It didn’t matter if it was for free or if he had to pay
If the person was married, so what?
He must sleep around
His weakness was like a spirit
When he started out he would talk, trick, lie do anything to get in a lady’s pant
Those were the early days when he was just starting out
A randy young man with the sex drive of a hound
As he got better in the game he became very good
He could identify ladies who wanted it easily and sometimes he didn’t even have to talk
A look, a smile, a touch and the lady would be humping with him within minutes
There was a day he humped with a married woman right behind her husband’s window
The security guards caught him that day and embarrassed him sorely
It was one of the downsides of the humping thing
The iron needed to be struck hard as soon as it was out of the fire
And sometimes he would be at the short end of time and place
He tried to make do with whatever he had
He once went to hump a woman in her house
The woman lied that she was single
The woman's husband arrived!
He had to jump down from the balcony of the first floor of a building and run for his life
He saw it all as part of his life’s adventure
By the age of 27 his parents decided he'd had enough!
He needed a wife
Once he got married, the nonsense would stop
They sat him down and talked to him
"You need a wife!
You have younger ones who look up to you
You have set a very bad precedent
Many parents have warned their sons not to be friends with you
Many parents see you with their daughters and they start cursing
You need to settle down
You have a good job
Go and get yourself an accommodation
Let’s close this Cassanova chapter"
There was a beautiful lady he had been talking to
She was a virgin
She had erected the wall of Jericho around her virginity
He had walked around her wall seven times and shouted
The walls had refused to fall
He bought a ring
The lady said yes
They attended counselling, did prayers, talked freely
He was still humping, but he did it far away from his community
He got married
His wife got pregnant
He stopped pretending!
All sorts of women came looking for him
Condoms and other instruments of his "thing" were always in his car and pockets
It was as if he had a mental condition
His wife fought and raved until she accepted her fate
She had married a He-goat!
His wife spoke with a lot of people about her husband’s condition
How do you help someone like this?
Do people with this crazy lifestyle ever change?
Her search for a solution led her to a church
She became born again
She talked to him
"Please accept Jesus into your life
No man could change by himself
But the Holy Spirit and the Word are life changers
Your mind will be renewed by the washing of the word
You will be made whole!"
He ignored her
When his wife brought some church members to his house
To preach to him
He told them point blank “If you come back to this house to preach, I will ban her from attending church”
It worked! They backed off
His life continued to pray and hope
But he didn’t stop
He slept with a soldier’s wife once
The husband caught him
Beat him until he could barely see
And threw him into detention in the army barrack
Word reached his wife
His wife called his parents
They all went to the barrack
To secure his release
The soldier had accused him of breaking and entry into his home
Claiming he was a thief (To spare himself the embarrassment that his wife was sleeping around)
They were asked to pay 200,000 naira
For bail and repair of the properties destroyed in the process of apprehending him
He was released
He spent seven days in the hospital afterwards
And yet, as soon as he was discharged
He was back in the game
One day he returned home from work quite early
He was sweating profusely
His wife hurriedly went into the kitchen to get his food
He asked for water
The wife gave him a cup
He asked for more
The wife gave him a jog and a cup
He drank everything
He requested for more water
His wife became alarmed
What is the problem?
He started making funny noises
His eyes bulged, he became restless
Started pacing the floor, breathing like a donkey
Suddenly he turned
“Woman, I say give me some water!”
His wife started speaking in tongues
Taking over the atmosphere from demonic forces
Her father was an herbalist
She had seen the ailment before
He suddenly sprang and ran right into the wall! Gboa!
He reeled back
Like a ram in a butting contest and ran right into the wall again. Gboa!!
He reeled back again
He set himself like an athlete, picked momentum and ‘Gboa!!!
His forehead was messed up with blood, he landed on his back
It was a miracle he didn’t break his neck
He groaned in pain, rolled on the floor and pulled himself up.
Fell on one knee, like an athlete about to sprint at the Olympics.
He called “On your marks! Get Ready!! Go!!!
He ran for the wall, the death blow
His wife screamed, "STOP in Jesus name!"
He pulled back instantly, like a wrestler who got a good “close line”
He wife walked up to his sprawled body
He was holding his neck, chocking!
“I command every demonic activity on you to cease right now,
I command this affliction to lose its hold
I set you free in Jesus name!”
He went numb
His wife took a bottle of anointing oil and emptied it on his head!
His eyes sprang open, he jumped up, flailing wildly
His wife commanded the unclean spirit to leave him (This session took like an hour)
He fell on his knees
A few minutes later, he picked himself up and went to shower
When he came out still donning his towel, he came meet his wife
He didn’t say a word
The tears spoke for themselves
He bawled like a baby for hours
Afterwards, his wife led him to Christ
PS: He is today a senior Pastor in a very popular Pentecostal church
That day, he slept with a lady who had “Magun”
A charm designed to afflict and kill a lady’s cheating partner
It was the effect of the charm that almost took his life
His wife said she had a dream weeks before that he would be afflicted and was already praying and fasting to prevent his early death
He thanked God his wife was home and equipped to help him
He never slept around again!