Everybody has a thing

Nobody is perfect

Some people are compulsive liars, they just couldn’t help but lie

Even when the truth would benefit them, they would lie!

His own weakness was ‘humping’

It didn’t matter if the person he humped is blind, lame, leprous or deaf

It didn’t matter if such a person was 13 or 73

It didn’t matter if it was for free or if he had to pay

If the person was married, so what?

He must sleep around

His weakness was like a spirit

When he started out he would talk, trick, lie do anything to get in a lady’s pant

Those were the early days when he was just starting out

A randy young man with the sex drive of a hound

As he got better in the game he became very good

He could identify ladies who wanted it easily and sometimes he didn’t even have to talk

A look, a smile, a touch and the lady would be humping with him within minutes

There was a day he humped with a married woman right behind her husband’s window

The security guards caught him that day and embarrassed him sorely

It was one of the downsides of the humping thing

The iron needed to be struck hard as soon as it was out of the fire

And sometimes he would be at the short end of time and place

He tried to make do with whatever he had

He once went to hump a woman in her house

The woman lied that she was single

The woman's husband arrived!

He had to jump down from the balcony of the first floor of a building and run for his life

He saw it all as part of his life’s adventure

By the age of 27 his parents decided he'd had enough!

He needed a wife

Once he got married, the nonsense would stop

They sat him down and talked to him

"You need a wife!

You have younger ones who look up to you

You have set a very bad precedent

Many parents have warned their sons not to be friends with you

Many parents see you with their daughters and they start cursing

You need to settle down

You have a good job

Go and get yourself an accommodation

Let’s close this Cassanova chapter"

He agreed

There was a beautiful lady he had been talking to

She was a virgin

She had erected the wall of Jericho around her virginity

He had walked around her wall seven times and shouted

The walls had refused to fall

He bought a ring

The lady said yes

They attended counselling, did prayers, talked freely

He was still humping, but he did it far away from his community

He got married

His wife got pregnant

He stopped pretending!

All sorts of women came looking for him

Condoms and other instruments of his "thing" were always in his car and pockets

It was as if he had a mental condition

His wife fought and raved until she accepted her fate

She had married a He-goat!

His wife spoke with a lot of people about her husband’s condition

How do you help someone like this?

Do people with this crazy lifestyle ever change?

Her search for a solution led her to a church

She became born again

She talked to him

"Please accept Jesus into your life

No man could change by himself

But the Holy Spirit and the Word are life changers

Your mind will be renewed by the washing of the word

You will be made whole!"

He ignored her

When his wife brought some church members to his house

To preach to him

He told them point blank “If you come back to this house to preach, I will ban her from attending church”

It worked! They backed off

His life continued to pray and hope

But he didn’t stop

He slept with a soldier’s wife once

The husband caught him

Beat him until he could barely see

And threw him into detention in the army barrack

Word reached his wife

His wife called his parents

They all went to the barrack

To secure his release

The soldier had accused him of breaking and entry into his home

Claiming he was a thief (To spare himself the embarrassment that his wife was sleeping around)

They were asked to pay 200,000 naira

For bail and repair of the properties destroyed in the process of apprehending him

They paid

He was released

He spent seven days in the hospital afterwards

And yet, as soon as he was discharged

He was back in the game

One day he returned home from work quite early

He was sweating profusely

His wife hurriedly went into the kitchen to get his food

He asked for water

The wife gave him a cup

He drank

He asked for more

The wife gave him a jog and a cup

He drank everything

He requested for more water

His wife became alarmed

What is the problem?

He started making funny noises

His eyes bulged, he became restless

Started pacing the floor, breathing like a donkey

Suddenly he turned

“Woman, I say give me some water!”

His wife started speaking in tongues

Taking over the atmosphere from demonic forces

Her father was an herbalist

She had seen the ailment before

He suddenly sprang and ran right into the wall! Gboa!

He reeled back

Like a ram in a butting contest and ran right into the wall again. Gboa!!

He reeled back again

He set himself like an athlete, picked momentum and ‘Gboa!!!

His forehead was messed up with blood, he landed on his back

It was a miracle he didn’t break his neck

He groaned in pain, rolled on the floor and pulled himself up.

Fell on one knee, like an athlete about to sprint at the Olympics.

He called “On your marks! Get Ready!! Go!!!

He ran for the wall, the death blow

His wife screamed, "STOP in Jesus name!"

He pulled back instantly, like a wrestler who got a good “close line”

He wife walked up to his sprawled body

He was holding his neck, chocking!

“I command every demonic activity on you to cease right now,

I command this affliction to lose its hold

I set you free in Jesus name!”

He went numb

His wife took a bottle of anointing oil and emptied it on his head!

His eyes sprang open, he jumped up, flailing wildly

His wife commanded the unclean spirit to leave him (This session took like an hour)

He fell on his knees


A few minutes later, he picked himself up and went to shower

When he came out still donning his towel, he came meet his wife

He didn’t say a word

The tears spoke for themselves

He bawled like a baby for hours

Afterwards, his wife led him to Christ


PS: He is today a senior Pastor in a very popular Pentecostal church

That day, he slept with a lady who had “Magun”

A charm designed to afflict and kill a lady’s cheating partner

It was the effect of the charm that almost took his life

His wife said she had a dream weeks before that he would be afflicted and was already praying and fasting to prevent his early death

He thanked God his wife was home and equipped to help him

He never slept around again!