The Verdict

He knew marrying her was a mistake on 
their honeymoon,
she suddenly went into an eerie silence 
when they got into the hotel room.
He was still all bubbly and happy
He didn't notice her change of mood 
until he finished undressing
By that time, she had taken offense 
that he didn't pay attention to her 
change of mood which happened 
about an hour earlier
He asked her what was wrong with her
She flared up
"Is this how you are going to do 
husband? If I had died right by your 
side, you wouldn't have noticed for 
one hour and three minutes?
Is this was I settled 
for?
He was taken aback
It was the last thing he expected
The surprise showed on his face
She saw it and shouted "Oh my God. 
You regret marrying me right? 
You are already weary or is that 
disgust i see on your face?"
He didn't even know what to say, 
so he sat down and kept quiet 
while she ranted and cried
When she was done, he wanted to 
hold her and placate her
He felt the events of the day had 
gotten to her and she was just venting
As soon as he touched her on the 
shoulder, she flared up
"Dont infect me with leprosy. 
Just go. Get out. I don't want your 
sympathy. 
I dont want you consoling me. 
Just get out.
He did
He left her in the room
He went into the restaurant of the 
hotel for two hours
He bought some sparkling water 
because he wanted their first meal 
as a couple to be together
By 1 AM, he went back to the room 
and knocked on 
the door
She didn't open it
He knew she heard him because she 
shouted "Go and sleep with your 
prostitutes, go back to where you 
were coming from"
His first instinct was to get another 
room and sleep there but her words 
stung him
He didn't want her to accuse him of 
any wrongdoing 
so he slept by the door until the 
next morning
She opened the door by 6:15 AM
There was no apology
She expected him to be there
When he got into the room, they 
didn't speak
He got on the bed and slept
She went into the bathroom and later 
left for the restaurant to have breakfast 
It was a crappy honeymoon
Her mood didn't get better for the 
whole week
The only time they had sex, she practically 
guilt-tripped him into sleeping with her
"I don't want us going back without you 
getting what you came to this hotel for. 
This is a sacrifice i am making for you." 
He really didn't want to sleep with her 
that day but he had to
If he didn't things will get worse plus 
he really wanted to have sex on his 
honeymoon and the expectation was 
somewhere at the back of his mind 
seeking expression.
They had sex
She opened her legs and grunted 
through 
it as if he was inconveniencing her
At a point he had to close his eyes and 
imagine he was with someone else
Someone who was happy and wanted 
to be with him
When he was done, she started to 
cry all over again
"That's all I am good for right?
A mare to mount & seek stress relief 
from
So you do your thing and roll away 
while i deal with the consequences right?
Women are mules and men are eagles right?"
He didn't even know what to say
He found tears rolling down his eyes of 
their own accord
Her sadness was infectious
She had killed his enthusiasm and joy 
When they got home after the honeymoon, 
he began to avoid her as much as possible
He felt he was the problem
He felt the more he stayed out of her 
space, the happier she would be
She was happy before they got married 
(or so he thought)
They dated for two years before he 
proposed to her
He met her at the software workshop 
in Dubai
She was a journalist sponsored by a 
tech outfit to cover the event
He was one of the participants at the 
workshop
They were both Nigerians and that 
fact went a long way when she 
interviewed him
They later had a meal together 
She told him about Dragon Mall, a mall 
outside the city where things were 
sold at a very cheap price
They went to the mall together the 
following day
She insisted on sharing the cab fare 
with him
They shopped and the experience 
was fun
He fell in love with her as he 
watcher her 
ride downwards to him on the escalator
The sight of her slowly gliding down 
with a smile that could dull the sun 
was a delight to his soul
That was the moment he decided he 
would do everything possible to get 
married to her
When they returned to Nigeria from 
the conference, he spent some time in 
Lagos so as to be close to her before 
returning to her base in Abuja
From that point on they were in each 
other's lives every day
Phone calls, video calls, emails, chats
They attend the same church
She attends physically while he 
attended virtually
They were both believers
Not once did she give him any reason 
to think she was a sad person
Not once did she mention or show 
any symptom of being whatever she 
was doing to him
By the time the marriage was a 
month old, he had practically forgotten 
how to be happy
He found himself swimming 
in the murky waters of sorrow everyday
One day, on his way back home from 
the office, he decided to move out
The marriage was a mistake
He had lost his joy and his peace
He doesn't also feel safe around her 
because of her erratic behaviour
One minute she was cheerful and happy 
the next she was screaming, crying, 
and moody
The marriage was draining him of 
everything
When he got home, he found an 
envelope with his name boldly written 
on it lying on the center table
He picked it up & checked its content
She was one month pregnant
The one she guilt-tripped 
him into doing on that crappy honeymoon
He didn't know what to do with the 
information
He knew the pregnancy had nothing to 
do with her sadness but he didn't want 
his child growing up without a father
When he got to the room he found her crying
The pregnancy made everything worse 
He sat with her and tried to hold her
Her eyes were red
She sprang to her feet and began to curse him
"This was what i didn't want
This is my body and I told you that day 
that you were dumping your stress in me
Now i am pregnant
I don't want this
I hate you"
it made no sense to 
him
He didn't say anything
he had learnt to leave her alone for 
about 24 hours whenever she got into 
the foul mood
The next morning, he dropped note 
on the table
"You are free to do whatever made 
you happy,
you can keep the baby or have an 
abortion
You have my support either way" 
She sent him a text later in the day 
apologizing for her actions
She said she had seen the doctor 
and was told the baby was doing 
very well
She said the news cheered her up 
and she has decided to keep the baby
He felt happy with the decision
She seemed cheerful too
He took it as 
a good omen
The pregnancy was indeed a blessing
Her family members came around 
often and so did their friends and 
church members
He had some respite from her foul mood
Things seemed to have returned to normal
Then she fell into labour and the 
curses began
She accused him of every 
evil deed under the sun and pronounced 
all sorts of curses on him for putting her 
through pregnancy
She didn't let him touch her and 
snapped at him like a rabid dog 
throughout the period
Eventually, she had a baby boy
He was happy
On the day she was discharged 
from the hospital 
Her parents came around to pick her
She said she needed to go to her 
parent's house so that her mother 
can care for the baby
He was neither informed beforehand 
nor carried along
He pretended he was not hurt
She went to her parent's house
The following day, he took some of the 
baby's things to her parent's house
He was stopped at the gate by the 
security man
The security man said he had been 
instructed not to let him in
Wow!
He dropped the stuff and returned home
He tried calling her and sending her 
a message
She didn't pick
She didn't allow him play 
any part in the naming of his son
It took three months of pleading and 
pushing before he was allowed to 
see his son
Her excuse was "I was too mad with 
you and i didn't want my parents to 
see me lashing out at you"
To be fair, her parents called and 
apologized to him several times 
she pulled her stunts
She returned home when the baby 
was six months old
They had been married for almost 
two years and they had made love 
about six times
He felt things would get better
They didn't
She would let him have foreplay 
but insisted there would be no 
penetration yet... 
He played along
She always made demands and 
he always met them
bought her everything she needed 
to make her comfortable
The marriage clocked 3
They made love only on each other's 
birthdays and on their wedding anniversary
He was miserable and always wondered 
why he got married! 
Then she pulled a stunt on their son's 
second birthday
She told him she needed some time 
apart from him
She needed her space
She sent him a message via WhatsApp 
while he was at work
By the time he got home she was gone
She left the baby behind with the nanny
He decided enough was 
enough
He rented another apartment and 
moved out
He got his mother to come over and help 
him nurse his baby
He had peace for the first time in almost 
four years
Sis months later she arrived with her 
bags, she wanted to return to the 
marriage
He said No!
She didn't believe he could 
She wasn't prepared for a NO
It caught her by surprise
It was the first time he was saying No
He deserved to have a good life
He deserved peace of mind and joy
He had tasted life without her
He wasn't going back to Egypt
She went on her knees and started 
begging
He still said No! 

PS: They should remain apart
until she was able to fix herself and
be an asset to the marriage
The child is growing and her nature
wouldn't be the best for the child
Children need stable parents
The husband deserves a life
of peace and happiness
We dont get married to bear burdens
We get married to share burdens
The two are not the same thing
They are not divorced at the moment
They are separated and they should
remain so until there is ample proof
that she is healed of whatever was
troubling her spirit

GSW's notes: When two people get married
They were supposed to make each
other's life better
Companionship is not hitching a ride
It is a going together
An "I am in your corner" mindset
It is a Bonny and Clyde reality
WE against the world
But when it is the one you were 
supposed to spar with that unleashes
mayhem on you
When your number one friend turns
out to be your number one headache
Your life becomes miserable
A marriage where a partner cries all
the time is not a happy marriage
People say "Endure" it and i get that
But the two were supposed to
endure whatever life throws at
them and surmount it together
The two were not supposed to
turn against each other
A house divided against itself
cannot stand
The man and the woman must
be like Christ and the Church
Not Christ against the church or                                                                                       the church against Christ