Utopia

Her father was one of the converts of the
Scripture Union movement
He was very knowledgable and fanatical
Some of his fanaticism was as a result of
the depth of the orientation he had about
religion in his former religion
Her father was from a very strong non-christian
background
Her father told her he got converted into
Christianity in a very unusual way
Her father said he and some of his friends 
had the habit of messing up where the Christians 
met for fellowship when he was in secondary
school
Christians met every Thursday in a particular
classroom from 4pm-5pm
According to her father, he and his friends
will sneak into this classroom immediately
after classes close and defecate
all over the desks and chairs
Sometimes, they would  pack stinking refuse 
from the refuse dump from one of the hostels 
and litter the classroom with such
To them, the Christians were worshipping a
man called Jesus and knows nothing about
God
According to her father, after pulling off the
stunt for several weeks without getting
any negative reaction from the Christians
they decided to get some velvet beans, 
known locally as "Werepe"
They know the Christians had invited a speaker
from somewhere for a meeting
The meeting was to hold on a Saturday
The plan was to harvest the beans and carefully
cover the whole classroom with it
They really wanted to teach the Christians
a lesson
Everything went according to plan
They waited until the classroom was swept
and prepared on Friday evening
Immediately after the cleaners left, they
got to work
They were very careful because "werepe"
(Velvet beans) causes severe itching and
irritation to the skin
The operation took them about an hour
They sneaked back into the hostel
The next day, at about noon, her father
said he was asleep in the hostel when
he felt some powdery substance on
his skin
We woke up and discovered he was the
only person in the room
Minutes later, his body started itching
and stinging him
He tried to bear it to no avail
He cried out eventually
By the time they rushed him to the sick bay
He found his two other friends there too
Their skins were itching terribly
They gave them drugs and at a point applied
palm oil on their skin
It failed!
The itching only got worse
After almost four hours of suffering
they confessed their sins
They were taken to the fellowship centre
for prayers
When they got there, he was shocked
The powder was still everywhere and
yet the Christians were not in any form of
distress
The leader of the fellowship heard their
story
He forgave them and prayed for them
They were all relieved instantly
He told them they saw the powder that
morning and prayed that the Holy Spirit
will protect them from it
WOW!
That was it for him
They ought to have been reported to the
school authority and severely punished
But the fellowship did nothing of such
He knew what would have happened if
anybody had dared to do such against
the adherents of his own religion!
Two weeks later, he joined the fellowship
He was baptized in the Holy Spirit instantly
There was no going back!
She had heard the story over a hundred times
She was also told of the persecution
her father faced from his parents, relatives 
and loved ones
How he was ostracised and eventually
became a ward of the church
Her father had albums containing pictures
of who he was and who he became
He took delight in showing off the pictures 
and telling visitors his conversion story
Her father was fifteen when he got 
converted
Her father met her mother in the university
both of them attended the same fellowship
Her father eventually became a Pastor
He became a pastor the year she was born
She was her parent's first daughter
She was brought up in the way of the Lord
She gave her life to Christ at the age of 
thirteen
She joined the choir
She gained admission into the University
at seventeen to study business 
administration
That was where she met her man
A nineteen-year-old, prodigy who was 
an adherent of the religion her father
left to become a Christian
It didn't start off as love
They were just drawn to each other
She was nineteen when they started
dating
She felt he understood her the most
of all the people (including her parents)
that she had ever met in the world
He got her the way she wanted to be got!
They almost always never discuss religion
They both left it out of their conversations
It was a case of "When we get to that bridge"
They got to the bridge when she finished
her NYSC
She was twenty-two years old
When her mother brought up the topic
She said she wasn't thinking about such
things yet
Her parents decided she should get her
masters
She traveled abroad for her masters
She returned home at the age of 24
She got a job and applied for her Ph.D
Her mother brought up the topic again
She asked her mother rhetorically what
would happen if she brought home an
adherent of another religion
Her mother looked at her and said "Your
choice of a husband is personal, your
choice of who to love is personal but 
remember Ruth! 
You will always end up serving the god of
your husband
His god will be your god, no matter how
much you convince yourself this will not
be so!
Your children will serve his god too!
If you are comfortable with this, we will
support you!"
They had been together for eight years
They had both created an exclusive paradise,
a utopia of sort
They had both anticipated that there will
be some resistance when they decide
to let the world in but her mother's word
while not "against" pierced through a idea
of that utopia
She told him what her mother said
She said her mother promised to support her
all the way
Then he took her home and all hell broke loose
The first problem was her uncovered head
(He didn't tell her it was a factor his parents
took very seriously)
The second thing was his mother
His mother kept looking at her suspiciously, 
like she was  a stray dog
He had explained to her that his parents had
told him several times that an arrangement
be made for him when he was ready
He had thought the arrangement would
be suspended once he brought her home
His father was nice
He spoke to her kindly and asked all the
right questions about her parents, town and
the usual things
She spent three hours with his family
It was worse than she anticipated
She didn't belong there
The orientation, language, mannerism
everything
It was not evil, it was just completely different!
Her own family had five people
Her parents and three siblings
They had extended families and all but every
unit in the family was first nuclear, then extended!
His own family was the reverse
Everybody was living with his parents
She had a lot of people to kneel down to and
address as aunty and uncle etc
She started to lose hope in the union
It was too obvious they were not being 
realistic
But he was very persuasive
He had her keys and knew how to use them
The following weekend she took him home
They had spent hours rehearsing
They went to see her parents on a Saturday 
evening
They met her mother and her siblings in the
kitchen
Her father was in his prayer room
Her younger brother went to get her father
Her father shook her man's hand
Her man fell under the anointing
That touch, a scream, and Bam!
He was flattened like a sack of potatoes
It took him almost fifteen minutes to
recover
When he eventually settled down
Her father said "I have asked the Lord
about you and my daughter
I don't see her in your future
You are going to rise in the private sector
and at a point in your life, you will be made 
a commissioner in your state
You will marry three wives in all
You have a great future but i did not see my
daughter anywhere in that future
God does not show any man everything
so I might be wrong but i have to tell you
what I saw so that you two will know"
That was the end of the discussion
They had a nice meal and a glorious discussion
It was a good night!
He broke up with her the following day
He didn't really give a reason apart from
the obvious
She deserved better and so did he
They either move forward or terminate the
whole thing
There was no other option
They both walked away with their Utopia in tatters
She completed her Ph.D. at 32
She met a Nigerian Human Rights Activist
based in Poland
He was the one
She married him a year later!

PS: Everything her father said about him
turned out to be true
He had recently married his third wife
after his appointment as a commissioner
in his state
His family is based in Ibadan, Oyo State
She, on the other hand, has been married 
for fifteen years
She has three children
Her husband is a Pastor and an activist
She is a lecturer and an activist
Her family lives in Lagos, Nigeria
Her parents are still alive and doing well
Both her siblings are happily married

GSW's notes: At one point or the other
especially when we are in a relationship
we all built castles in thin air!
We daydreamt about the children we
never got to have, the home we didn't
get to keep and a life we didn't get to
live
Some of us were lucky to build more than
castles
We built a utopia
A world of liquid gold and flowing silver
A world rid of weaknesses and faults
Until reality came knocking and Humpty
Dumpty scattered everywhere
Are you building castles now?
Are you building a Utopia?
Don't get lost in it.