Defused

He started cheating on his wife deliberately
He needed to teach her a lesson
He would have thrown her out of his house
But his faith was seriously against divorce
Adultery was another cup of tea entirely
He couldn't be said to be committing adultery
by satisfying his sexual urges from another
woman when his legally married wife had
deliberately closed her legs as a means
of punishing him for "offenses" against him!
He was the victim
He was also the one expected to repent
Where was that done?
They had dated for eight years on and off
before they got married
He met her at the JAMB office 
They met on the queue trying to get their
JAMB results
The queue was long and the process was
tedious
Somehow they all got talking
She was right in front of him and joined
in the conversation
When they got hungry, he got some snacks
and offered her some
She shook her head but he insisted
When they were told to get envelopes and
stamps
She rushed off to get them and got two for him
She didn't want to be a taker
He admired that
He gave her his mother's phone number
She had a GSM phone at the time 
All he had done was work and save some 
money towards his education
GSM phone was a luxury he couldn't afford
at the time
They both passed their examinations
She was admitted into a school in the East
He settled for a part-time degree in Lagos
He had to work to support himself
He called her often on his mother's phone
They broke up after the first year
He did nothing wrong
She was cash strapped and needed some
money to augment her school fees
What he had saved was only enough for 
his school fees
He couldn't gamble with his education
He told her he couldn't help her
She stopped picking his calls after that
The break lasted for eight months
They met in a mutual friend's birthday 
party one Saturday
She was in Lagos for the Christmas holidays
She was the last person he had hoped
to see
They got talking
She told him about a guy
A guy she had to turn to out of desperation
She loved him but love was not enough
The other guy had the money and was willing
to part with it only if she would be his girlfriend
She had to be pragmatic
That was why she decided to let him go
She didn't want to cheat or date two guys
at the same time
He was "obviously" not ready to meet her 
needs yet
She had to turn to the person who can
He heard her
He was also a "street" boy
He understood that people were sometimes 
forced to make choices for survival
Though it was very painful to bear
but he wished her well
When he was leaving the birthday party
He offered her a ride
Somehow they ended up in a hotel
They had to do it that one time for "loves" 
sake
He moved on
He dated other ladies
He deliberately avoided ladies who needed
him to bear their responsibility 
He couldn't afford to
Most of the ladies he met needed the man
to make some serious moves on them
They wanted him to show that he was
responsible by taking them out
Buying gifts and all 
Some wanted him to help with their rent,
fees and other things
He dreaded the Valentine season and Birthdays 
He was working with a courier service as
a delivery staff
The job was stressful and the salary very
little
His parents were retired
All his siblings were working their way through
school like him
He couldn't afford any white elephant project
So the ladies tend to see and like him
Desire to have a relationship with him
And then walk away when he failed to
deliver as expected
She came back to him a year after that
"birthday" roll in the hay
Her new guy had dumped her and she 
was sorry
He had nobody who was particularly
serious in his life
He told her he had a year of school left
He had been promised a good position at 
his current place of work once he earned
his degree
he was working towards that as fast as
he could
She stayed with him and she was faithful
She graduated a year ahead of him
But it was almost the same thing because
she spent the next year serving the country
He wasn't eligible to participate in the
NYSC because he ran a part-time course
He graduated and was promoted immediately
He had seven years experience on the
job and according to their office ranking
index (a Multinational) he became a regional
delivery supervisor overseeing a geo-political
zone within the country
He was also given an official car
By this time they had been dating for four
years
She started pressuring him 
She wanted them to get married
But she didn't have a job and he didn't
want to marry a woman who wasn't working
He was brought up in a home where labour
was a manner of life
She needed to get a job
She tried very hard and eventually got
a job as a bank cashier after two years
She worked and saved for one year
He proposed
She said yes
They had their introduction and wedding
She got pregnant within a month of
their wedding
Six months into the wedding, her father
sent for him
Her father was a man he respected very well
Her father told him about two plots of land
that were available at distress sale prices
The offers were very good
Her father advised him to get some money
and buy the land
He saw real estate as a good investment
He sourced for the needed fund and 
bought one of the two plots
Her father encouraged him not to leave
the land as it was because of land grabbers
He sourced for more funds and started
building the house
Her father was supervising the project
It was an interesting time
As soon as he started building, he was 
somehow able to come up with all the
required funds for every stage of the
building project
It was the one thing on his mind
To move into his own house within two
years of getting married
He counted himself lucky to have such a
humble father-in-law who didn't mind
helping his son in law supervise his 
building project
His parents were also very grateful
Then he received an unexpected phone call
from the foreman on the site
The foreman had been sacked by his father
in law and out of spite the foreman called
him
The foreman told him that the second plot of
land beside his own was owned by his father
in law and all the materials he was paying for
were being used to develop both buildings!
Wow!
He had been offered both plots but he could
only buy one
He knew the other plot was being developed
but he never bothered to ask any question
about it
He had sunk millions into that project
He had never built a house before and couldn't
tell sharp sand apart from dull sand
He told his parents what he heard
His parents counseled him not to confront
his father-in-law
They told him to bring his own project 
supervisor and stylishly channel the 
procurement of materials through his 
own man
That way he would have his own eyes and
ears on the site and ensure his materials
were used for his project
His father-in-law took the move as a slap
His father-in-law insisted that no project
supervisor would be allowed to work on
the project
It was supposed to be a simple easing out
His father-in-law turned it into a war
Suddenly calls were coming in from 
everywhere
His phone was ringing his wife's phone
was ringing
He was accused of accusing his father-in-law 
of "this and that"
He was called an ingrate
Suddenly his father-in-law got him the land
for a quarter of the price and he was repaying
good with evil
His mother-in-law, his wife's aunties and uncles
everybody got involved
It was a mess
And his wife, the mother of his son, took sides
with her parents
She refused to have anything to do with him
until he apologized and gave the project back
to her father
Blood was indeed thicker than love
He had to get the police involved
The project supervisor took over and the
project was completed in record time for
half the price his father-in-law quoted for him!
When he raised the question about the
other plot of land, nobody answered him
It was suddenly not his business who
owned the land and why the project
stopped as soon as he changed the project
supervisor
Once the project was completed, he expected
the trouble to die down
It didn't!
He was suddenly an outsider, the enemy
His father-in-law stopped picking his calls
His mother-in-law kept away from his house
As far as he was concerned, his wife had
refused to call a spade a spade
Sentiment and emotion were being used
to colour everything
Her father was wrong and it was hypocritical
of her to choose not to see that or to
blackmail him into eating the humble pie
and apologizing!
That was the impasse 
His wife locked her legs for a year
He tried every approach in the book
She didn't yield
She fought and insulted him at every turn
Friends and family members got involved
"Close this chapter and move on", 
they admonished
His wife refused
His wife said she wouldn't sell her family
off because of marriage
She came from a home and if someday
the marriage be over, she would be 
foolish to burn the bridge between her
and her family
He understood that
He was willing to let go of the issue entirely
but he would never apologize to her
father for being defrauded
If anything, her father owed him an apology!
She refused to let the matter go, even after
older and wiser heads had intervened
She insisted he was rude to her people and
there would be no peace until he swallowed
his pride and begged them
As far as she was concerned, even if her 
father robbed him at gunpoint, he had no
right to disrespect her father!
He hoped time would ease things but time
made everything worse
Eventually, he decided he deserved to be
happy
He decided he would find another woman
to love and have sex with
He wasn't looking for a second wife
Just a kind of mistress
It was a deliberate decision on his part
He was not counseled by anybody or
cajoled into it
He met the lady at his office
She was a student attached to his office
for one year for Industrial Training 
She became his comfort zone, his secret
But somehow his wife found out
His wife gave some police officers some
money to find her and teach her a lesson
She was flogged silly one evening on
her way home from the office
She didn't resume back to the office after
that
She had learned her lesson
And that was the moment he decided the
marriage was over
When he got home that day, his wife was
waiting for him
She was ready for war
She said "You will not have another woman,
if you date a hundred, i will kill them all!
If you think you can extend your lack of home
training to me and my family without any
consequence, you joke!
I will deal with you
Whatever you think you are, I will turn it to
dust!
WOW!
By this time, many people who knew about the
case (his family members and friends had started
telling him what this prophet said or what that
dreamer dreamt! One even went as far as suggesting
that his mother-in-law was a witch and his wife
had been initiated into witchcraft)
The devil thrives on confusion and strife
He never paid any mind to all the "spiritual" 
messages, until his wife spoke that evening
It was as if he suddenly had clarity!
His wife was his enemy
His wife was determined to see his end
His wife had said so to his face
He needed to fortify himself and his son
He needed spiritual help
But he didn't know anybody who could
offer him such
His parents were orthodox Christians
He grew up in a religious home but was a
novice as regarding the spiritual
He wrote to the brother in Jeans and 
T-shirt
He told the Brother in jeans and T-shirt his 
story and his ordeal?
He said he needed help
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt met with
him
One week later, His wife met with the Brother
in Jeans and T-shirt
They talked for thirty-two minutes
She was very angry
She was also very stubborn
She was determined not to be taken advantage
of in the marriage
She was primed for war
(She was not a witch and she was not diabolical,
although she was ready to do and undo to
address the perceived "injustice" she believed
her husband subjected her to)
The discussion was a dead end
She was unwilling to listen to any suggestion
of reconciliation and resolution
She had also made up her mind that the marriage
was over
But she wanted to end things in a very ugly way
The brother in jeans and T-shirt asked her
if he could pray with her before she left
She said okay 
They joined hands and prayed
She left
Her husband was the first person the brother
in Jeans and t-shirt saw the next day
He was practically screaming
"What happened when she came here 
yesterday sir?"
The brother in jeans and t-shirt told him they
talked and prayed
Her husband said when he got back home
from the office the previous day, he found
her in the room, crying her eyes out
He said she was crying so much that he became
scared
Eventually, she came to him on her knees
She apologized for everything that happened
She said she didn't know what came over her
WOW!
He said she opened the gates of Jerusalem
unto him willingly that night
He ate the vines and drank of the fountains
thereof
His home was a flourishing ground again!
He fell flat on his face with thanksgiving to
God!
It was a glorious testimony
The following weekend, without informing
his wife, he went to see his Father-in-law
He apologized 
He was no longer thinking of being wronged
He did it for the joy and love of Christ
His father-in-law received him warmly
When he was leaving his father in law said 
he would send his wife's younger brother
to him the next day
The next day, just as they were returning home
from church, his wife's younger brother
arrived at their house and gave him an 
envelope
All the documents of the house that caused
the dispute was handed to him
His father-in-law called him later that evening
and told him to pay him a stipend for the
land
Just for record purpose
He sent his father-in-law the money immediately!
He finished building the second house seven
months later
The two houses were dedicated in October 2019
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt dedicated the
property to the glory of God
A certain disaster became a certain victory!
Hallelujah

Ps: Words are sometimes meaningless
Words sometimes fail 
When words fail we consider those to
whom it was given stubborn, stiff-necked
and unreasonable
We forget there are spirits behinds words 
and their perceived meanings
The Spirit of God can never fail
Wherever the Holy Spirit was released
He controls every other spirit and tears
out strongholds and vain imaginations

GSW's notes: Engage the Holy Spirit deliberately 
henceforth
Practise, practise and Practise
Pray in the Spirit and express your dependence
on the Holy Spirit unabashedly
Speak to yourself and speak forth this reality
as you pray in the Holy Spirit
Deliberately commit people and cases into
his hand and ask him to order your thoughts
and your utterances
When words fail
A touch or a hug or a breath can stir do so much
more than you can ever imagine
Thank you Holy Spirit