Perfect Fit

In 2008, I met a lady
in the youth fellowship
of the church I was attending.
A few months after I joined
the church, I became the
youth president of the church.
I became friends with this lady,
with the intention of marrying her.
When I asked her to marry me,
she told me to speak to
her mother about my intentions.
She said this will convince
her to take me seriously.
After my seriousness had been 
established, she began to come
over to my house once in
a while with her younger sister.
 
We were serious believers
and we did everything properly.
(As it should be). Whenever
she calls me to say she
would be coming to say hello,
I would frantically do everything
to keep my flat in order.
I am not the finicky type
but I still didn't want her
to have the impression that
she was walking into a pigsty
or that I expected her to be
performing "wifey" duties in
the name of a relationship.
 
An unkempt house can be
interpreted to mean many things
between courting couples. 
She could interpret it as "dirty" 
guy and as a result, pull out of 
the relationship. I really wanted 
to marry this lady, so I would
make sure there was cooked
food (often bought at a nearby
eatery and fruits) in my fridge.
 
Whenever she comes around,
we would watch movies on my
laptop, talk, and pray together.
One day my mother came around
to visit me. She arrived
in the evening because she
had to take a flight out
of the country the following
morning. As early as 8 am,
my mother was set. My
younger brother and I
left the house together so
we could drop her off at
the airport and spend some
time with her before she boarded.
 
This lady calls me and
asked where I was. I said
I was driving towards
Ikorodu road. She said
"Turn back, I want to have
a word with you". I told
my brother to turn the car
around. When we got to my
flat, she was standing outside.
I alighted from the car and
introduced my mother to her.
 
She goes all red in the face
"Why didn't you tell me
your mummy is in the car?"
I said it would have landed
me in a pickle. My mummy
doesn't like being used as
cannon fodder and I didn't
want to land in trouble because
she came to my house and
I didn't turn the car around.
She greeted my mummy and
apologized for making me bring
her all the way back to
the house.
 
"So why did you ask me
to come?" I asked.
She said we will talk
later and left. Later that evening,
she came around and accused
me of being insensitive.
She insisted I should
have ignored her call
or told her my mother
was in the car because
that was not the first
impression she wanted to make.
 
The talk was long and
she even cried. I made
a mistake, however, I said
"I was on my way to the
airport, I told you how far
I had gone and you ordered
me to turn back. This is
not the first time you have
done that and you have
never felt bad doing that,
so you're not really feeling
bad about it now.
 
The reason you're feeling bad
about it was because my mother
was in the car and she
might have interpreted your action
as entitled, domineering and selfish.
You're willing to be all
that to me but you just
don't want my mother to see it"
She said she was done with
the relationship after my long
speech. I didn't know why I said
what I said but saying the
truth does not always bring
the desired result. I have
learned that the hard way.
She left in a hoof and
I resolved to let her cool
off so that I can apologize.
 
The next day, I went to
see a friend at his father's
printing press. We got talking
and another friend of his
(a female) came to visit him.
We all served in Yobe state
but I never met the lady
before that day. We spent
about four hours together,
when it was time for me
to leave, it turned out that
the lady was going my way.
So I gave her a ride
and we got talking.
She had been working
with a bank since she graduated.
 
She was a student of a top-notch
business school, her parents were 
quite wealthy and connected.
I felt it was a privilege to
know her and I admired how
easily she related with me
without any air of superiority
or attitude. I had planned
to drop her along the way
but I offered to take her
home just to be sure she
is who she claimed she was.
When I got home, she called
to say thank you and even
sent me messages on blackberry
later that night. I replied
to her message and we
got chatting. We chatted all
night and the chatting continued
all day while I was in
the office.
 
She was different.
It was easier to be with
her, more relaxing and there
was no pressure whatsoever.
Although I had planned to call
my babe to apologize after
the argument, this new friend
of mine basically made me forget 
everything.
 
I mean, once I get on
the phone with her,
we will both run the battery
down and then continue
whatever we were doing even
while the phone was charging.
We both didn't sleep for
almost a week. I didn't know
talking with a babe could be
so unofficial, free, and liberating.
We were like buddies but
with crazy chemistry and a
longing for each other that cannot
be described. She asked for
my address the following Friday.
 
First thing on Saturday morning,
I mean around 7:30 AM,
she showed up. She called
me and told me to look
outside the window.
I did and there she was.
Oh my God!
I told her my house was
upside down, that I'd dress
up and we can take a drive
to an eatery. She laughed
and asked me to open
the door.
 
I did.
She said "I wanted to catch
you like this, I wanted to see
you in your natural habitat
without the padding and
the makeup"
I kept apologizing.
 
She kept laughing and teasing me.
We played scrabble and drank some 
tapioca my mum made before she
traveled. By 10 AM, she gave me
a list of things that she wanted
me to buy for my flat.
Air freshener, covered dustbins, 
mop, pegs, two extra buckets, etc, 
and so on. 
I changed and rushed off
to the supermarket. She was
the kind of girl that you
want to be pleased with you
but not in a scary way.
 
The kind of girl you  
want to impress. I spent an
hour in the supermarket.
When I got back home,
I almost fainted. She had
swept the entire house,
threw out a lot of stuff,
and was arranging the
sitting room.
 
It was that moment that changed 
everything for me, I promised myself
that if she would have me,
I would marry her. I thanked
her for doing what she did.
 
She said "I knew you won't
let me do it that was why
I sent you to the supermarket
with that long list. I grew
up among four boys, I know
the difference a lady can
make in a man's life".
I kept her company while
she cooked, she said
"Don't thank me with words,
Thank me when you eat
this meal".
I laughed and laughed.
 
When we finished eating,
I cleared both our plates
and did the dishes.
She watched me while I did.
We were just chit-chatting.
When I was done, I walked
straight to her and kissed
her right on the lips.
She kissed me back.
Then I said, "Thank you".
She hugged me and
I held her tight.
I got married to her
on the 26th of June 2010.
I didn't marry her as
a reward or compensation.
She didn't earn anything.
 
I married her because
I loved her humility, loyalty,
down-to-earth nature, and sincerity.
She made all the difference
in my life!
 
I read this letter earlier
this morning and I felt tears
roll down my eyes.
Love is real and I hope
some people in this Twitter
generation will find it.
There is nothing worth
arguing about when you
find your mate. All the
debates are symptoms of a
generation missing out on love.