She was 17 when she met him

He was 20

She just gained admission into 100 level

He was in 300 level studying law

She met him at the bank

A microfinance bank inside the school where her parents sent her pocket money

She couldn’t really remember why he was in the bank

He was not on the queue like other students

And he didn’t come with a friend

Perhaps, he was just there (She could have asked him but she didn’t want him to know she didn’t remember, he would tease her forever for forgetting)

Anyway, she liked him

He wore his white and black law student's uniform with dignity

He looked like a friendly person

Somebody she might like to lie down beside and just look at with joy

He didn’t see her though or maybe he pretended not to see her

So she walked up to him and smiled

Her smile could disarm a wounded lion

She had been employing it as an offensive weapon since she was a young lady

It had never failed her

He smiled back

She didn’t say anything

Her words just sort of got lost on the way out of her throat

She could see that he was racking his brains, trying to recollect her face, thinking they had met somewhere before

She liked it

He must be a responsible person for not assuming she simply wanted to be his girlfriend!

She: Hi, you look familiar

He: Are you trying to pick me up? I can’t recollect ever meeting you before

She: I am so and so, a fresh student

He: Oh! I am such and such, 300 level law

He: So how have you been adjusting?

She felt relieved, they were talking now. Surely he would give her his number!

He did

They parted ways

She felt giddy

She was going to have a boyfriend!

A boyfriend of her own choosing!


She called him a few minutes later

Then she called him a few minutes after that

The she called him a few minutes after that

Within the hour she had called twelve times

She was bored and childish

She wanted him to know she was thinking of him


He called her

Asked that they meet in the cafeteria

Asked her to come along with a jotter and a pen

She ran to the cafeteria

He came right on time

He bought her lunch and told her to please write the following things down

1) I will be willing to learn and change for the better, no matter how inconvenient it may be

2) I will never assume anything, I will trust my partner to tell me the truth always

3) I will not bring in previous relationship experiences or assumptions about the way things are supposed to be into this relationship, I agree I am building something unique and even I have never seen it’s like before

4) I will keep my insecurities away from this relationship

5) I will never believe a third party, no matter what the evidence says, I will wait to hear from my beloved always


Then he turned to her and asked her, 'Can you keep to all those rules"

She thought about it

'Yes" I can


Then you can be my girlfriend!

She didn’t say anything. He was issuing a statement she completely agreed with!


They were the best couple on campus

Her friends always call her 'Instructed lover'

Because she kept to those instructions with all her might

When people were talking about their relationships and gossiping about other student's relationships (She keeps her mouth shut)

And as a consequence, nobody asked her about her own relationship

Those who asked were met with icy silence

She owed no allegiance to anybody but her beloved


Her man was very caring, he paid attention to her and they worked harmoniously to build their own little world

All the campus magazines and newsletters mentioned them in their gossip column

Their relationship was platonic, he was determined to keep his virginity till he got married

She was all in for anything he wanted

Though she was a virgin too, she couldn’t care less if they waited or rushed. As long as they have each other!

In his final year, a lady started paying him undue attention

The lady was his friend in secondary school

Had been to the polytechnic for OND

And became a student of their school through Direct Entry

He helped the lady settle in through her first two weeks

But then the lady wouldn’t move on

Whenever they were together, the lady would call him asking for a meet

Most times her man would ignore

But sometimes she would walk into the cafeteria and see the two of them eating and talking

She knew he wasn’t cheating but her roommates were beginning to do those "silent treatment" thing

That thing they do when they are projecting a break-up or a bust-up between couples

She called her man, what is happening?

He said nothing.

Her man travelled home for the weekend

She didn’t see the lady on campus throughout that same weekend


Her roommate returned from home and said she saw them


She waited at the school gate that Sunday evening knowing he would return

The lady arrived first

Alone and in a hurry

She hid her face behind her novel, just didn’t feel like greeting her

Two hours later, her man arrived

He hugged her

She walked him to his hostel

He went in dropped his bags and came out to meet her

They went to the cafeteria

He bought her some goodies

They talked

She was afraid to ask him the question

If she did and he lied to her it means the problem would never go away

If she did and he told her the truth that he was with the lady for the weekend it also means the problem will never go away

If he wasn’t with her and she raised the question, he would be very disappointed and he would take offence

She watched him, observed him

Where was the crack?

He wasn’t too happy or sad

He didn’t look guilty or relieved

He didn’t look nervous or anxious

He was just himself

She: I saw that lady, so and so, at the gate while i was waiting for you

He looked at her, looked right into her eyes and said "I was with her throughout the weekend"'

She almost fainted.

How could he state it so calmly, and matter of factly, without any remorse.

Was he a serial killer? 

"She was my girlfriend for two years in secondary school, he continued, 

Her parents were against our relationship

Her parents were from a particular Christian denomination where members are strongly encouraged to marry only within the same denomination, and when they fall sick, they do not as a matter of faith use drugs or go to the hospital

My parents are from a Christian denomination where you can use drugs, go to the hospital and marry anybody you love

It was a crazy period of unnecessary ego tussle

We both gained admission to this school to study law the same year

When her parents realized I was also in this school, they took her to the polytechnic in order to separate us

We had to part ways when her father insisted he would disown her if we didn’t

Her father monitored her like a hawk until she got into a relationship in their church and married the man last year

It was because she was married that she was allowed to come to this school

I can never marry her

She is not a threat to you

But I owe her...No, she and I owe her parents that "Go to hell" weekend

It was closure

I promise you!

It is out of our system now

It is totally out!''


She ought to be mad! She ought to walk away! She ought to hate him! But strangely, she understood!!!

He graduated a year later

She and the lady became good friends

She also graduated the following year

Three years later, they got married

Her husband has loved her and only her for 7 years

She had never had even a minute to doubt of faithfulness

She wondered if this would have been the case if he didn’t exorcise that demon haunting him with the lady


They have two children