Donkeys and Zebras II

Relationship counselling session: Couple 1

Boyfriend is struggling financially, had always done so since the relationship began.Boyfriend and girlfriend have known each other for over twenty years. They went to primary school together. Girlfriend started her own business at the age of twenty and began bagging huge contracts by 25. Boyfriend couldn’t hold on to a job, couldn’t prosper in business. Girlfriend rented an apartment, boyfriend moved in. Whenever Girlfriend needed to pay bills, boyfriend would send her Bible verses like “My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus”. Girlfriend clocked thirty, opened her own construction company. Boyfriend was still struggling. Girlfriend called a meeting with boyfriend about getting married. Boyfriend said he cannot get married until he makes his own money. Girlfriend said she is not getting any younger and would like to sort out the marital aspect of her life. Boyfriend said she can move on or wait for him to get his act together. Girlfriend broke up with boyfriend, hoping this would help him have a rethink. Boyfriend moved back to his parents' house. Girlfriend got heartbroken. Girlfriend called to find out why men get intimidated by ladies who have made their own money. She wondered why her boyfriend didn’t love her enough to marry her. He was glad to live off her when they were living together, but he freaked out when she decided they should get married because she wanted to have children.

Relationship Counselling: Couple 2
Girlfriend called in tears
She said she had broken up with her boyfriend
I asked why. She said he had become too rich
I asked her if I heard her right. She said I did
Her boyfriend of eleven years had ventured into cryptocurrency trading after years of struggling and somehow made 500,000 dollars in two days. The guy had built a house and furnished it. The guy had bought a good car. The car has changed his wardrobe. The guy has changed in character I asked how he had changed in character, She said she used to tell him to do things for her and he would do them gladly but since he came into money he had employed a chef and other domestic staff members, he now behaves like he was born rich and cannot wash dishes or use the washing machine by himself anymore. She said she has prayed that he would lose the money, but her prayer had not been answered.
She believed they were happier when they didn’t have money; they had each other and that was okay with her. I asked if he was cheating on her. She said no. I asked if he was abusing her financially. She said no. I asked her why she didn’t want her boyfriend to be rich. She said, “Rich men always behave as if the world revolves around them around them. It is just the way money changes people. I want my husband to behave as if I revolve around him. I want to be his world and the one he depends on for everything. It used to be that way, but it is no longer that way to me ”.
She said further that her boyfriend had asked her to marry him, but she turned him down because she never wanted to be married to anyone who is rich.

PS: I spoke with both boyfriends. The boyfriend of the first said she left him because he was poor. He said he is building up his business but it will take time for his investment to yield any tangible profit with which he can rent an apartment or hope to start a family. He said he understood that time is not on her side, but he can’t get married to her if he is not providing. So I narrated the story of the second couple to the first and the story of the first couple to the second. I asked the two girlfriends if they would like to switch boyfriends. The one with the poor boyfriend said she does not mind. The one with the rich boyfriend said, “Over my dead body. I cannot date someone I will be fending for.” She would date another person who is rich but not this particular person who she knew when he was poor and didn’t want to make any adjustments for.
-GSW-