His marriage was a warzone
He knew he made a mistake the very day he got
married to her
They finished the wedding
They drove to their honeymoon centre
They got to the room
There was an urgent business they should both
Be eager to attend to
But she came to the bed with a pen and an
Prepared with all the shenanigans of law
Though she was a lawyer but was the marriage bed
the place to prove she knows her onions?
He thought it was a joke at first
She must be pulling a prank
She must be pulling his leg
It turned out she was dead serious
She said ”I have a list of things I will like
you to do for me and my parents before you
can touch me, I have written
down the agreement and all you have to do
Once you sign, you can log in to this pool of
if you refuse to sign, consider this marriage
He didn't want to fight on the very first night
of their wedding
He met her in church
She was a beauty from a godly family background
A ”Virgin” who had kept herself as a bride awaiting
She had always been very warm, friendly and
courteous towards him
They courted for two years
They went to the movies, had dates, they even went
to Dubai twice to attend wedding ceremonies
of his cousins
They stayed in the same room
Kissed and smooched
But he didn't cross the boundary of her
She would burst into tears as soon as his fingers
roam towards the sacred dam
They had seven months of intensive marriage
His parents insisted that he must cross the
T’s and dot the I’s
Though he was a popular pastor, and also an oil tycoon
He submitted himself to the doctrine of the church
and the wisdom of those who had gone before him
They were both from different denominations
But the teachings of both denominations are very similar
In fact, the founder of his denomination trained both
the general overseer of his denomination and the
General Overseer of her denomination
His parents are pastors and so were her parents
They speak the same language
There was no pretence what so ever
Until that moment!
He took the document from her and read the
She wanted him to transfer a certain amount into
her account, she tagged it ”Marriage Inconveniences
and Insurance” fee
She also wanted a “non-scandal clause” stating '
that should anything happen that is “Scandalous
between the two of them, either party has no right
to discuss such with an outsider or speak scandalously
about the other”
It was more like a non-disclosure agreement but renamed
and reviewed for the purpose of their marriage!
He read the document with his mouth wide open!
The column for witness had already been signed
by a strange hand!
All he had to do was sign the document and the
marriage can start
But as far as he was concerned the marriage
He had put one leg in the river and the
crocodile had already grabbed it!
What if he put in the two!
He might not be a lawyer but he knew a marriage
that was not consummated is a farce!
Since they had not consummated the union; he felt it
would be wise to walk away!
He refused to sign!
She promptly turned her back on him and slept off!
In his head, they could work things out!
He sincerely wanted the marriage to work!
But that was how things remained for a week!
They stayed in the same hotel suite like strangers
She would speak to him and be all friendly during the day
but at night she would threaten to scream rape and press
charges if he touched her without her consent!
She insisted he would sign if he truly loved her
She wanted to secure her future
Men are scum!
Men are unreliable!
She wouldn’t want to be left unprovided for in case he
does or meets someone else and dumps her sometime
in the future
Eventually, he gave up and started sleeping on the
couch while she took the bed!
After a week they moved to his house
He told her to forget about the marriage and go back
to her father’s house
She told him over her dead body!
He realized she was determined to ruin his good name
She would threaten to call the press and tell
them lies about him
She said “See, I will tell the world all your anointing is
from a diabolical source, I will tell them the miracles are
from the devil! Do you think I didn’t see you?
On our wedding night, after we made love, you took
a handkerchief and wiped me in my private part when
you thought I was asleep, then you said some things
to it and make the handkerchief disappear!
See! I will ruin you! Ruin your destiny! If you see a fly in
your church after I finish dealing with you, call me a bastard!
The world is looking for pastors to burn at the stake
and i will hang you on the stake with my own hands
by the time you are telling the truth, my lies would have
You don't know what I am capable of!
I will so deal with you!
You will curse the day you met me!
One day, he recorded all her lies and took off for her
He explained everything that had happened in their six weeks
marriage and told her parents he wanted out of the union
Her Father called summoned her home immediately
As soon as she got to the house and saw his
car, she knew he had come to her parents to report her
She started crying
She repeated the same lie
Her parents listened and played his recordings for her
She took offence immediately
Claiming it was a setup!
"Nobody who truly loves his spouse will record
the conversation of the spouse without their consent!
It is called entrapment!
I will sue you and ruin you! I promise you that!"
Her parents were as shocked as he was
Her mother kept shouting "Jesus! In my presence! Jesus! I have
made a mistake in my life! See the monster I groomed and called
a daughter! Jesus!"
Eventually, her mother slapped her
Three times across the face!
That was when she kept quiet!
Her mother apologised to him and her parents left the
two of them alone in their sitting room without another word
She begged him after wards
Told him she was afraid for her future and didn't mean
a word of the things she said to him
He had already disliked her
But he is a pastor and the scandal would be
disastrous for him
People will say all sorts and his parents would
What would he say to the church of God
What example would he be to the church he pastors?
He remembered the story of Queen Vashti
Who lost her throne because she was regarded as a
bad example to all the women in Babylon
He didn't want to be like her
He didn't want God to replace him!
He didn't want the tarnish of divorce on his record
He forgave her
That night as they made love for the first time,
That she came to the bed drunk and that she
was not a virgin at all!
The next morning, he raised the issue
"You were not a virgin" He stated as a matter of fact
She flared up!
"Why did you think I took some alcohol, it was to numb me
and prepare me for the pain!
When I woke up in the middle of the night
There was blood everywhere!
Why did I change the bedsheet?
You have taken my virginity and now you accuse
me of not being a virgin!
That was the moment he realised he had married
She was absolutely crazy!
He regretted consummating the marriage
He should have walked away and brace himself for
As it were, sleeping with her had dug him deeper
into her crazy world!
Three weeks later, she announced that she
It was a shock to him
They had sex three times
He was not enjoying the marriage at all
He hated the marriage!
He hated being married
He wouldn't want to bring children into such a world
But he had slept with her and the rest was history
She delivered the first set of twins nine months later
Surprisingly she was a good mother
It was with him that she had issues
Whenever they made love, her eyes would be shut
It always felt to him like she doesn't want to be with him
In fact, whenever she could anticipate that they might make
love, she would pick a fight to delay and postpone it
He noticed the pattern
He prayed about it and continued to wonder why!
She had a second set of twins three years later!
In all, she had three daughters and one son for him
Eight months after she had the second set of twins
She sent him a long epistle via email
In summary, she said she hated sleeping with him
She hated being married to him
She had always loved someone else since she
was sixteen years old
He was the person who deflowered her
He was married and 13 years older than her
Both of them have left for Cyprus
She thought she could move on without the man
But they have a strong soul-tie and couldn't
do without each other
Her lover's touch was the only touch she could
She had tried with other guys before she met him
And though, she really liked him, she realised
she couldn't bear his touch even after marrying him
He made her feel dirty, cheap and unfaithful to the
love of her life
She desperately wanted to share her life with her lover
But her lover wouldn't leave his wife
So they met in hotels and seized moments together
wherever they could get it
She decided to take it
Life is too short!
She wished him all the best life has to offer!
He was somewhat relieved!
Six years of hell was finally over!
He had always suspected the children were
not biologically his not only because he could
count the number of times they had
made love on his fingers and toes
But because the children had features alien to both
of them and their families
He did the DNA test just to be sure
And it was confirmed that the children were
not biologically his!
It changed nothing for him
They were bearing his name and making
his heart merry
He was the one they smile to as a child
The one they cried to as toddlers
The one they lifted up their arms to in
a "Carry me" plea as babies
They were a delight to his soul
His mother had noticed that it was
uncharacteristic of their family to sire twins
and couldn't believe it when they had the
second set of twins
His mother told him something was fishy
But he ignored her!
The children call him Father and Know him as
That was all that matters!
It wasn't as if he didn't have the means to cater
to the children
He remarried three years after she left him
He made sure the marriage was legally annulled
The lady he married came for a job interview
at his firm
One look at her and he was smitten!
She was twenty-seven years old when they met
He was thirty-five!
His children were aged 7 and 4 by the time they
tied the knot
His wife was kind to the children
Adopted them as her own
Two years after they got married
God blessed her with two children of her own!
PS: His first wife left Cyprus for Scotland in 2014
Nobody heard from her since them
Even her parents said she didn't keep in touch
She has never called to find out how her children
He made sure there was no disparity
between the way he treated all his children
Even though he had always wanted to have
just two children
God has blessed him with six children and
added no sorrow to it!
Today. I celebrate a Friend and Brother
that I nicknamed "Father Father"
You are indeed a shiny example sir!
You made lemonade out of your lemons!
I am proud of you!
Happy Father's day!