They met the very day he graduated from the university

His parents and siblings all came to his school

To celebrate and rejoice with him

He was wearing his convocation gown

Looking as dashing as Denzel Washington

He was posing for pictures with friends and family

When he caught her stare

She was walking by

Looking lost

He excused himself from his crowd immediately

Followed her

She said she was looking for a friend

A guy

The guy was graduating

He invited her to his graduation party

But she couldn’t seem to be able to locate his canopy

She had walked round campus looking at all the fresh graduates

He asked her if she remembered the guy’s name

She said it was “this” or “that”

She wasn’t totally sure

How did they meet?

She said the guy came to their rental the previous day

To rent two dozen plastic chairs and some tables

Just as the guy and a friend were concluding their transactions and about to leave

She arrived home

The guy honed in on her immediately

Told her to please come to his convocation party

She was a bit iffy about the whole arrangement at first

But the guy was persuasive

She eventually promised she would attend his party

She dressed up that morning thinking she would walk into their school

Locate the guy and tell him she had fulfilled and promise and go back home

But after thirty minutes and walking from canopy to canopy

She had grown weary

She just wanted to return home and rest

He told her he was very sorry for the guy

Would she mind attending his party?

She laughed “How, who would you say I am?”

He shrugged

She followed him back to his folks

When they got to his parents

He said “ Mummy, this is your wife. Her name is …..” (he had forgotten to ask her what her name was)

He rolled his eyes and looked at her for help

She laughed and introduced herself

She told the mother they were just friends

But he didn’t let it go

He introduced her to everybody at the party at “His wife”

His mother made her sit beside her

She served her food and drinks

After she had eaten, his mother started engaging her in a conversation

The talk went on quite smoothly

Then as other guests arrived, his mother tacitly engaged her to assist in serving

She spent the whole day with them

She had so much fun, plus, she somehow enjoyed the “wife” thing

It felt so good

She was in final year in a school up north

She was not in a relationship

She met so many people that day

Had she stayed at home she would have been reading a novel or sleeping

Later that evening, he saw her off

They exchanged contacts

He told her he was from a city close by

He still had a rented apartment close to campus

He would still come to his school for clearance and other things

He would check on her the next day

He kept his word

He was with her the following day

And then the day after that

He was really serious

He wanted to be her guy

It was a vacuum she had long wanted someone to fill

It was all as it was written

A few months later, he went to serve

He was posted to the north

His location was fifteen minutes’ drive from her school

It was all too tidy

Three years later, after her NYSC

They got married

And everything changed

He was brought up in a military home

His father was a Major-General in the Army

He had bought into the military mindset hook, line and sinker

As a girlfriend he listened to her and they made decisions together

As a husband he saw himself as Commander in Chief

He didn’t even remember she had an opinion or a faculty to reason with

She just couldn’t deal with such a shift in his attitude

She has nothing against being submissive

In theory, she wanted to be

But in practice, it was too damn difficult!

What was the essence of her education?

What was the essence of her exposure?

What was the point of being enlightened only to be caged by marriage?

Their home became a battle ground’

One day she went too far

He went too far

They had a proper hand to hand combat

She broke stuff

He broke stuff

She packed her load and left for her father’s house

She wanted out of the marriage

Two months later, she discovered she was pregnant!

Her first impulse was to abort the pregnancy

Her mother wouldn’t allow it

She knew the pregnancy would bring him back

It was a bridge to reconciliation

She didn’t want to be reconciled with him

He had also moved on with his life

Within a month after he left

He had brought another woman home

The woman was actively playing wife

The day her younger brother went to tell him about her pregnancy

Her younger brother met the woman playing “wife” in her matrimonial home

The news of her pregnancy didn’t bug him

He took the new woman home

He wanted to marry her

He was so done with their marriage

His mother asked the new woman some questions

It was discovered the new woman was his cousin from his mother’s side

His mother told him she cannot marry the woman

The fact that they had both been sleeping with each other despite the fact that they were kin

Really rocked him

He took his time

He came back to her

He apologized

His people came with him

They had several meetings

She moved back home

Yet they could barely tolerate each other

They had said so many hateful things to each other

They had so many ghosts walking around their home

She knew she meant so little to him

“How dare he get another woman barely a month after she left”

He didn’t see anything wrong with his action

It was a case of “Her place, let another take”

He wouldn’t pine over a woman who gave him no regard

Their marriage was one legged for almost a year

She delivered a baby boy

They had another life to think about and care for

But at the core of their marriage, there was distrust, pain, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness

One Sunday evening

Somebody came knocking on their door

They didn’t know the person from Adam

The person told them he is a pastor and God sent him to their home

He didn’t know why, but he listened

She also listened intently

The man said “God told him he had ordained them as ministers of the gospel”

The enemy had been trying so much to tear them apart because of their glorious future

The pastor prayed with them

He banished the ghosts

He banished the source of pain and bitterness

He spoke peace into the home

Right there and then

The atmosphere changed

He found himself melting from within

Everything turned to liquid

He started gushing

He cried his eyes out

She didn’t know when she started bawling too

The power of the Holy Spirit was strong and mighty

It broke them down

The pastor left

Their home was totally rebuilt by the Holy Spirit

Peace, joy and righteousness reigned

It wasn’t as if they didn’t have the odd disagreement once in a while

Their disagreement became less destructive and more productive in nature

Ten years later, they became ministers of the gospel

After five years of pastoring parishes

They were transferred abroad as missionaries

They became the first missionaries of their mission in Jordan


PS: Marriage needs the active involvement of the Holy Spirit

Husband and wife should have a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit

The couple should respect each other and be willing to reason together

Long memories and unforgiveness are cracks in the foundation of a marriage

Bitterness and vengeful spirit are enemies of a marriage

Selfishness and jealousy will suffocate a marriage

If the couple will surrender to the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit will make their homes like the garden of Eden