Job Chronicles 3

admin Oct 8, 2020 1664 0

At some point, while still searching
for an NYSC job, I read a book titled –
Digital Fortress by Dan Brown.
The book was essentially about
hacking and the art and science of
encryption and decryption called
cryptography.
That was my first-time hearing about
that field and it sounded quite intriguing
to me particularly because the book
said cryptographers are usually great
at math and I loved math and believed
I was great at it.
I googled the field of cryptography,
saw that it was a subset of Information
Security, and became interested in
Information Security as a profession.
I did not know any company that
specialized in that field, but by a stroke
of luck, the brother of my sister’s friend
had a friend, V, who worked in one
such company, DJL.
He introduced me to B and I sent my C.V.
to B as requested. B was able to schedule
me for an interview on a Tuesday I think.
I got to the interview in Osborne foreshore
estate and mehn the first thing I noticed
was the décor of the office.
The furniture looked very classy and I just
jumped inside the conclusion that they
paid very well (all na scam lols) and I was
determined to work there.
I was asked a bunch of questions and I
answered them to the best of my ability.
The interviewer asked me what my 5-year
plan was and I foolishly said I planned
to go for my master’s degree after
working full time with them for one year.
Wrongest of the wrongest answer in
the world. (P.S. If you don’t yet know
what’s wrong about this answer, let me
just say here that if ever you are asked
for a 5 or even 50-year plan during
an interview, your answer must be
within the context of the company)
Anyway, I left the interview in excitement
and in my mind I had nailed the job –
All that was left was for me to receive
a call back to start work.
My mum got me an interview with a
family friend of hers and I attended it.
They were a bunch of young people
who had gotten a customer relationship
manager (CRM) project with the
now-defunct Oceanic bank and were
looking for fresh engineering graduates
like me.
They offered me the job and we negotiated
my salary but I wasn’t too keen on working
with them so I asked them to give me
till Friday to get back to them as I was
hoping that by then DJL would have given
me an offer.
By Friday, DJL had still not called me
back as expected so I called B to ask him
if he knew the reason why and he told
me he’d get back to me.
The following Monday, I was in yaba on
my way home from the NYSC office
when my B called to tell me that DJL
wouldn’t be accepting me for the NYSC job.
Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe
how I felt.
I was on the verge of tears but I decided
to call the CRM people to accept the offer.
I called my interviewer and primary contact
and told him I was going to accept the offer
but to my surprise, he informed me that
they were going with someone else as
I did not get back to them the previous
Friday like I Said I would.
You guys - right there and then in the
middle of yaba market, I started to shed
hot tears.
As in I was weeping profusely like someone
had died.
The Friday before I thought I had 2 job
offers and just 3 days later I was back to
square one.
After crying for about 5 mins, I stopped

abruptly. I decided that I Wasn’t going
to kill myself and I shopped for fried
rice ingredients and plantain, went home
made my badass fried rice and plantain,
ate it, and slept off.
I am just a weird person I know.
It was after these rejections that I took
the offer for the NYSC IT job where I
was not retained.
I remembered I had passed KPMG and
P&G aptitude tests in my final year at
UNILAG and I sent emails to the
recruiters at both organizations asking
them to continue with the recruitment
plan.
I was scheduled for my first interview
with a senior at KPMG at Ikoyi.
I borrowed my sister’s TM shirt, wore
it over black pants and black pumps,
and drove to Ikoyi with my learner plates
on one lane on Ikorodu road from Magodo.
I had not prepared for the interview at all
as I felt my GPA, my major, and the
University I attended more than qualified
me to be employed there.
After the interview, the interviewer told
me he’d recommend me for the second
stage of the interview but for subsequent
interviews I should wear a suit as I
wasn’t appropriately dressed.
I thanked him and left.
I heeded his advice and wore my elder
sister’s suit to attend the second stage
of interview this time with the Senior
manager (honestly one of the things
I miss about being skinny is being
able to wear ALL my sisters’ clothes).
I arrived earlier than scheduled and
was ushered into the interview room.
My interviewer came in late and if I
was unprepared he was much more
unprepared.
He kept asking me random questions
and wasn’t paying attention to my
answers – instead he was pressing
his blackberry messenger device.
I am someone who feeds off the
energy of my listeners when speaking
– I perform better when my listeners
are attentive and giving encouraging
signs like nods, but falter in my
performance when I am being ignored
by my listeners or if my listener looks
bored.
At some point, I stopped speaking
because he was obviously not listening
to me but he told me to go ahead and
lied that he was paying attention.
The interview went downhill from there.
Afterward, I narrated the experience
to my sister who worked there and
she told me I could contest the interview
or something of that sort – essentially
complain and ask to be assigned another
interviewer but I wasn’t too keen on
working at KPMG.
Leaving the house at 5.30 am only to
return at 11:00 PM is not my idea of
work at all – I consider that to be slavery,
forced labor, or child abuse.
I was scheduled for my first interview with
P&G and again
I borrowed my sister’s work clothes to
attend (my sister tried for me when
it came to lending me clothes).
This time around though, I didn’t tell
anyone in my house I had an interview
as I didn’t want to be the object of
anyone’s pity if I wasn’t offered the job.
I wanted to work at P&G though because
it is a multinational and would look great
on my resume, they paid well, their office
was beautiful and it was less than
15 minutes from my house.
After my first interview, I was scheduled
for a 2nd interview which I did and
then a 3rd interview and that’s when VP
intervened and things went awry.
During my 3rd interview, the first 2
interviewers along with a new
interviewer were present.
I was asked if I had any leadership
experience and I said I had none.
(Again I did not prepare for the interview.
I am not even sure I know you were
supposed to prepare for interviews).
They told me it didn’t have to be
anything major it just had to be a
situation where I led a group project
or made some people do what I
wanted them to do.
I should have just kept quiet and not
disgraced my ancestors but I told
them that I had experience making
people do what I requested.
I told them that I came from a family
of 5 kids and I was the 2nd child.
I always did the cleaning as we did
not have a house-help and after I
cleaned, I would insist that none of
my siblings wore their slippers on
the clean floors and I made them
work bare feet for the next couple
of days after I cleaned.
This recommendation always met
with some resistance but I always
insisted and ended up having my way.
That's how my evil recruiters, with
incredulous voices, reiterated the
statement I made about my leadership
experience being able to successfully
convince my siblings not to wear slippers
on the floors I cleaned and started
laughing hysterically.
It was like the floor should open up
and swallow me.
Anyway, I packed my load and left and
said goodbye to a fantastic opportunity.
In addition to sending applications
online, I started to reach out to all my
contacts and buzzed B at DJL telling
him I was still in need of a full-time job.
He told me they weren’t hiring at DJL
and eventually recommended I attend
an information value chain program
that was held one Wednesday every
month.
At the end of the program, he would
point to the CEO and I could walk up
to her and tell her I needed a job.
On the day of the program, I wore my
best work clothes (my youngest sister
by 10-years’ clothes) and headed to
DJL office.
I felt weird leaving the company name
blank when I signed in but I wrote just
my name and went to the room where
the program was being held.
I felt a bit intimidated by all the suits
in the room but I composed myself
and after the meeting, B stylishly pointed
at the CEO to me.
I hung around her and as soon as she
was standing alone, I swooped in and
introduced myself and said I was
looking for a job.
She was surprised and must have asked
how I came to know about the meeting
but I can’t remember.
She asked me to give my resume and
contact details to her assistant which
I did.
A few days later, I was called to have a
chat with the MD. I went to see her and
explained that I had been turned down
during NYSC but because I really wanted
to work in the infosec field I didn’t give
up trying to get a position at her company
despite my previous rejection.
She told me she admired my tenacity
(I think that was my first time hearing
that word) And confidence but unfortunately,
they had no openings at the time.
But she was expecting a couple of
projects in the coming months and would
get in touch with me when that time came.
I thanked her and left and I did not hope
to hear from her again.
You can imagine my surprise when I
received a text the following evening,
Thursday, asking me to come and give
a presentation titled “Becoming a
successful IT Consultant: Key
Requirements and Challenges”
the following Monday. I was so excited!
As soon as my mum returned from work,
I borrowed her internet and googled
the topic. I saw a book on it which I
downloaded immediately and started
reading.
That day I was super grateful that I
love to read and I read fast.
I had only given 2 presentations in
my life before then – one for IT defense
and the other for Project Defense and
my slides were nothing to write home
about. Kia (immediately),
I buzzed a brother, Effanga who is a
presentation guru asking if he could
help me out and he told me we’d do it
together but fortunately for me he didn’t
have time to put me through and just
sent me the final slides a few hours
after I gave him my content on
Monday morning.
You guys the slides were so beautiful,
if I could cry, I’d cry.
Anyway, on the night before my presentation,
my sister asked me to practice with her
as my audience but she kept correcting
me saying I sounded too rehearsed, I
wasn’t using my hands, etc.
At some point I told her I wasn’t rehearsing
again because all her corrections were
making me nervous and unsure of myself.
But I imbibed her feed-back about not
letting my slides be too wordy and only
including the salient points.
Thankfully, when I read stuff, I retain
almost everything I read and after reading
the book I could talk about everything
I read.
I went to DJL and was ushered into
the interview room by the HR where
the CEO, COO, and my contact, B,
were waiting for me.
I was asked to set up and that's how my
hands and body began to shake.
HR nearly shouted on me saying my time
was going and I only had 20 minutes
I was just praying through it all and
telling God that my disgrace was
his disgrace and he should help.
I Started nervously and after a minute
it was like my body was invaded by
someone else.
I started to speak very confidently
maintaining eye contact with my
audience and using my hands effectively –
I was barely even looking at my slides.
My audience was paying rapt attention
and the CEO was nodding in agreement
from time to time.
I went above time but they let me finish.
After I was done, they clapped for me
and the shoulder pad just magically
appeared on my shoulders.
Even if they didn’t offer me the job, I
was very proud of myself.
The COO asked me if I had notes on
the slides on my laptop that were not
visible on the projected slides and
I said no.
He was surprised and asked how I
was able to speak solely from my head.
He did not know that i am a brainiac.
Anyways they asked me a bunch of
questions and I answered them after
which they said they’d get back to me.
Later that evening, B called me to
tell me they were very impressed
with my presentation and my confidence
and the CEO said they’d offer me a
level higher than an entry-level position
and I was super excited.
I got an email from the CEO a few
days later asking me to come in
for negotiations.
She repeated what B said and told
me they’d offer me a Senior Analyst
role and a certain amount of money.
IT was my very first role and I accepted
the offer without negotiating.
She said I should pick up the offer
letter from HR in a few days which I did.
I did not open the bulky envelope until I
got home so I could look at it with my
parents.
Only for me to get home, open the letter,
and see the role of Analyst and an amount
that was N500,000 less than what I was
promised.
I was already upset but I assumed it was
a mistake so I contacted HR who told
me I’d need to speak with the MD about
the issue but she had traveled.
I got her email from him and sent her
an email saying what I received wasn’t
what I was offered and she replied
saying “oh what I was offered must have
been a mistake and the offer I received
was what she meant to say and I should
accept it as she’s sure I’ll be a high flyer
and rise in no time. I had already made
up my mind to reject the offer but my
parents, elder sister and Effanga asked
me to accept it and use it as a starting
point seeing as I had been home for
5 months without a job.
You guys I cried my eyes out and
decided to accept the offer. But I had
already formed a negative opinion of
the MD and I resumed work with a
chip on my shoulder about not being
adequately compensated and being
deceived.

To be Continued…