JOb Chronicles IV

JOb Chronicles IV

Toyeens’ Job Chronicles – Part IV

After I resumed at DJL, one of the guys 
with whom I was assigned to work on 
my first project told me he heard my 
interview presentation was impressive 
and he had high expectations from me. 
Little did he know that that wasn’t 
the real me. 
I assumed my information security 
analyst role at DJL would be technical 
and involve the cryptography and 
hacking I read about in the book 
Digital Fortress and when I was 
taken round the office and introduced 
to the staff, I said the server room 
was going to be where I would 
spend most of my time. 
I couldn’t be more wrong. 
I came to understand that consulting 
meant advisory and involved no 
In simple terms, it means you acquire 
the knowledge to carry out projects and 
advise your clients on this but you are 
not the one who does the operational 
aspect of the work. 
I was tasked with writing proposals for 
new projects, attending several meetings 
with clients, and serving as subject matter 
expert, preparing tons and tons of 
documentation – reports, frameworks, 
templates, etc and interacting with clients. 
I hated every single aspect of this role. 
I had a completely different personality 
and skill-set than I do now. I hated 
creating, writing (imagine), interacting 
with clients professionally, speaking in 
meetings – all of which I now love to do.
My boss told me on different occasions 
that he expected me to be speaking a 
lot in meetings given the way I spoke 
during the presentation for my interview. 
In my mind, I just said haq haq haq you 
dinnot even know warris going on. 
That wasn’t my real personality oh - me 
that I am quiet in public. 
I just deployed it to get a job. 
Anyway, the part of my job I loved the 
most was being given food daily on the 
client’s site and during meetings.  
I also loved my colleagues – most of 
whom I am still friends with to date. 
We were all young – in our 20s and 
30s save for a few people and I got 
along well with most of them. 
There was no forming and pretentiousness 
and just being around them was the best 
part of going to work every day.
 I was on a project with my boss to 
develop a business continuity plan for 
the client and it involved meeting with 
key stakeholders from every department 
to determine their key businesses so a 
continuity plan or back up plan could 
be created for each business to ensure 
they recovered in case of an incident. 
My boss usually did most of the talking 
while I collected the data and chipped 
in only when he deliberately asked me to. 
I really did not like to speak in public 
amongst people I was unfamiliar with. 
At the end of each meeting, I would 
leave with my pack of food and whole 
croaker fish from TFC.
And then one fateful morning when 
we had to meet with the clients, as usual, 
my boss came into the office and said 
he would not be going with me and I 
would be going alone! 
I told him I wasn’t capable of handling 
the meeting on my own and he said 
I ought to be able to do it having sat 
in several meetings with him. 
I thought he was joking, but he was 
dead serious and left for his office. 
I almost wanted to cry. 
If I knew that was going to be the 
result of my eating croaker fish, I 
would have rejected it. 
Anyway, I packed up my laptop and 
left for the client’s site with the 
company driver. 
All through the ride, I was just praying 
to God to help me not to disgrace myself 
and undermine my capabilities in the 
midst of all those people. 
Anyway, I arrived at the meeting and 
set up my laptop to project on the screen. 
I started the meeting and just started 
saying every single thing my boss used 
to say when he anchored the meetings. 
I wasn’t even aware that I had soaked 
up all he used to said and could 
convincingly pull off anchoring the meeting. 
After the meeting, I got a few praises 
from the audience, and this time around 
when I picked up my food and whole 
croaker fish, I believed I had earned it. 
When I returned to the office, my boss 
asked me how it went and I told him it 
went well.
The project was over scoped and was 
taking a lot of time to complete. 
At some point, our management asked 
us to wrap it up and present a final report. 
Of course, I refused to create the report 
because #can’tdospirit. 
It was eventually passed on to a new 
hire who did a good job I must say and 
to date, I call him baba BCP. 
I honestly didn’t have a good attitude 
to my job based on the reason I 
mentioned in the previous post but 
obviously, I know better by now. 
Doing good work is for your good and 
the knowledge and skills you develop 
doing it can never be taken away from 
Doing shoddy work as a means of 
paying back your employer for poor 
pay or poor treatment hurts you far 
more than it hurts your employer. 
However, I did not have this insight 
at the time and just did whatever I could 
– my motto was I can’t come and kill 
There was a time I was asked to do 
a proposal for a new field we wanted 
to get into. 
First of all, I was convinced we weren’t 
even qualified to bid for it and me doing 
the proposal was a waste of my precious 
And so, I just strung together some 
information I got on the internet and created 
something which I sent to my boss. 
My thinking was I was only an Analyst 
and someone higher up would fix it up 
and make it decent. 
But I’ll never do that again. 
If some work is going to have my name 
on it, then it has to be done well because 
I don’t know where it would end up. 
If I believe I am unable to do a decent 
job that I would be proud to have my 
name associated with, I would decline 
the job with compelling reasons.

I wasn’t a fan of my MD as said earlier 
but again I lost out because I closed my 
eyes to all the other things I could have 
learned from her just because I felt she 
did me dirty – I guess it’s my loss though 
because one of my friends still talks to 
me about all she learned from her in all 
the time she worked with her. 
We had a first name only policy at work 
and we called everyone by name including 
the MD. 
Every Friday, one member of staff would 
give a presentation on the topic of their 
choice to the rest of the team members 
as a means of improving our presentation 
On one such presentation, the MD gave 
feed-back I disagreed with and I expressed 
my contrary opinions there and there in 
the presence of the other staff. 
We went back and forth and I refused to 
back down to the surprise of my colleagues. 
On another occasion, the HR told me I 
would be presenting the following Friday 
when I was originally scheduled to 
present in two weeks. 
I was so upset, I told him it was unfair, 
walked out after the meeting, and slammed 
the door behind me! 
The MD was in that meeting oh. 
Anyway, I was ill-prepared for the 
presentation on Friday and did a very 
mediocre job – I wasn’t proud of myself 
at all especially because some people 
had heard about my interview 
presentation and now I was falling 
hand badly. 
I ended up scoring 65% on it which 
was quite poor. 
(The Friday presentations were scored 
by the attendees.
We used to have Fellowships on Mondays 
at 5 pm at the office but again I never 
attended because I did not care for it. 
There was a day my friend and I were 
gisting in the office during the fellowship 
and the MD walked in on us and started 
shouting at us about how we did not respect 
God and other things I can’t remember. 
My friend apologized and joined the 
fellowship that day and every other Monday 
she was still in the office after 5 pm. 
But even after all that shout Toyeen never 
attended the fellowship. 

Everybody in the office knew that I was 
stingy because I used to track my expenses 
on my laptop, bring food to the office 
when I wasn’t on the client’s site, and 
ensure I collected every money owed 
me even money as small as N1500. 
I think it was kinda weird because I had 
a car and lived in VI with my uncle before 
moving back home but still, I do play with 
my money. 
Anyway, I am sure no one was surprised 
when my final Friday presentation to the 
staff was on personal Financial 
 helped with my slides and I think I did 
a great job cuz I scored 86%. 
It’s kinda weird I still remember what 
I scored.
The most important thing I got from DJL 
was my relationship with my colleagues. 
I realized how a fun work environment 
where you enjoy being around the people 
you work with really impacts the work 
you do and how a toxic work environment 
can be very detrimental to your work and 
mental health. 
I resigned after watching Steve Jobs’ 
Stanford Commencement address.
I was at home for over 2 months after I 
resigned where I was just sleeping and 
eating and doing nothing productive. 
I assumed it would be easy for me to 
get the Telco job I desired but I was wrong. 
On a few occasions, I longed for my job 
at DJL but thankfully, I had written down 
all the reasons that led me to resign 
and would go back to read them whenever 
I felt like I had made the wrong decision 
and they would remind me resigning w
as the right thing to do. 
One morning, I woke up suddenly with 
the alarming thought that I was wasting 
my life.
To be Continued…

Firecracker Toyeen
Instagram: @firecracker_toyeen
Twitter: @firecrackertoyn