Kangaroo Kingdom

A friend introduced her to him
He was in the United Kingdom at the time
He had been in London for seventeen years
He had made a name and reputation for
himself as one of the finest hairdressers
in the city
He learned hairdressing in Lagos
He even opened a shop as soon as he
completed his apprenticeship at the age 
of 20
He was a natural and his gifts brought
all the who is whos in the city of Lagos
to him
Television stations and celebrities
patronized him at will
He knew nobody
He was only exceptionally good at what 
he did
One of his clients told him his talent
would bring him more income abroad
Many go to the UK seeking white collar
jobs
They end up washing toilets and cleaning
the street
But someone with his kind of skill will
be a shining star in no time
The prediction proved to be true
He moved to London to start over
He shared a flat with nineteen other
Nigerian hustlers
He got employed as a hairstylist
and within a month was bringing
in many clients for his boss
After six months, he put a proposal 
together and sold a solid idea to one
of his footballer clients!
They formed a partnership
The footballer funded the expenses for
the hairdressing salon while he provided
the expertise
The footballer also got to invite his friends
and teammates
Of course, the haircut prices were 
exotic and classy
Ordinary folks gather around his saloon
in the evenings to see their favourite
football stars and sometimes sign 
autographs
Within a year in London, he was a 
celebrity barber and hairstylist
He was rich and celebrated
He moved into his own apartment
and started driving his own car
He saved a lot of money too
He was focused and determined
to be the best
He went for hairstyling training
in France and New York
He hung his certificates with pride
As a young boy, he was dyslexic,
in Nigeria, he was simply called dumb
He opted to learn to barb at the age
of ten
His "master" was a good teacher
His Master's wife was a hairdresser
Both his master and His Master's wife
shared a shop
He benefitted from observing the two
of them
Nobody expected him to amount to
much
His gift made him a superstar
But he had his shortcomings
He couldn't speak a complete sentence
of the English language
He could hear and understand when
he was spoken to or given instruction
But he couldn't speak
The celebrities find his silence very
comforting
They assumed it was part of his
professionalism
Only a few people knew of this challenge
He got personal trainers and teachers
They helped him in a certain way
But his dialect and local tongue
seemed stuck to his lips
He eventually gave it up
The second challenge was that of getting
a wife
Ladies, the sort he wanted to marry
were too high handed and enlightened
He didn't want to work hard and make
money only for one woman to come
into his life and throw him into the
street naked simply because he got
married
He knew he could be taken advantage
of easily because of his inability to read
and write and the level of trust he would
have to place on his wife when it comes
to documents and other legal issues
He needed to be very careful
He confided in a friend
The friend told him about a lady
A pastor's daughter who was very well
brought up
The lady had just completed her training
as a medical doctor and was ripe for
marriage
The friend sent him pictures
He liked what he saw
The friend also told the lady about him
and emphasized on his dyslexic issue
plus local dialect communication 
They got introduced
It was like butter to bread
They took to each other and started
making plans immediately
By then he had spent ten years in
London
They settled her travel documents
and a very elaborate wedding
Football stars and other celebrities
graced the occasion in Nigeria
They settled in the United Kingdom
She needed to write some papers
in order to be able to practice in the
UK
He paid for everything
He was a good husband and a provider
He was also extremely formal and strict
The kind of guy who sees disrespect 
in everything
She had to be on her knees every morning
to greet him
She had to serve him his meals on her knees
She had to call him "Sir" and never ever
refer to him by his first name
He was only three years older than her
She had to take permission from him
before doing anything
His idea of submission was servitude
She protested at first
It was far from what she bargained for
Her parents had to get involved in 
the matter
He was her husband and she chose to
marry him
He had set his rules
Even though the rules might seem 
unreasonable
She must find a way to work with
what she was given
After a lot of persuasion from her
parents
She decided to work with what she
was given
His position, posture and body language
killed all the fun in the marriage
She had everything money could buy
but her heart of void of joy
He was a good man but no woman
wants to be married to her ruler
She understood he was practically
an illiterate and living in London had
somehow exposed him to many 
negative experiences of marriage
and all
He had heard stories of Nigerian
women marrying London big boys 
and stripping them naked in no time
He had heard stories of women taking
advantage of the law to skin their
husbands
But these were not her stories
She really wished he would give her a
chance
He didn't
He was extremely secretive with his
business dealings
She was an outsider
A surrogate mother with benefits
She was kept at arm's length
He trusted his relatives and friends
more than her
He shared his most intimate details
with the outsiders
She was his wife and barbie doll
She was fed, clothed, slept with,
she produced his children and
ate his money
It was a nightmare
She wanted to love him, to be with
him, to be his wife, to be in the know
But she was shut out
She was not worthy to be in the 
Holy of holies
Not even considered to be in the outer
court of his Majesty's throne room
She was always the last person
to hear of anything important he
was doing
When he opened four new branches
He told her nothing
He was not controlling or domineering
in a physical or emotional way
He let her live her life and she believed
couldn't have cared if she cheated
on him
They were that aloof
He saw himself as the prize and she
was the lucky one who got to sit 
around and feed off the crumbs 
from his table
It was a miserable marriage for for
but nobody knew it
They saw her driving the latest cars
living in a luxury apartment and all
She couldn't even complain
What would she say?
Her husband was all about formality
and appearance
She knew that as soon as they got
married
He would do the needful
He would send money to whoever and
arrange for whatever would make life
convenient for her
When she started having babies
He moved the heavens and the earth
to get her mother to London to
take care of her
He didn't do it because he cared
He did it because it was the pragmatic
thing to do
He was the Lord and she was his subject
She hated her life
Twelve years and three children later
He decided he needed to build a house
in Nigeria and establish a string of 
businesses that they could retire on
He told her nothing
He discussed everything with his relatives
and friends
They started executing the plans
Twice she felt in her guts something
was wrong
On both occasions when she tried to
tell him what she felt the Holy Spirit
was saying to her
He laughed her off
She was put firmly in her place
At the end of the year, he told her
he would be traveling
He was going to see with his eyes
the edifices built for him by his trusted
friends and relatives
She would have packed her bags
and traveled with him
Her response as expected was
"As your lordship pleases"
He traveled on December 10
He returned on December 21, barely
able to talk
His blood pressure was through the
roof and had she not been a doctor
he would have died!
By the time he got to the hospital,
he had suffered from Stroke
Her quick response was extremely 
helpful
He survived and even got a very high rate
of recovery
She didn't get the chance to know
what happened and why
She called his elder brother
She explained everything that told her
brother, he might die if she didn't
know what happened back home
so as to know how to treat him
His elder brother told her that he
was swindled
All the money he had been sending
home for his projects was squandered 
by his friend and younger brothers
They had been sending him pictures
of the progress, they were making
and he believed them
When he arrived home on his impromptu
visit, he discovered they had been 
sending him the pictures of someone 
else's projects
His savings and plans of many years
had gone down the drain
The shock was what triggered the
blood pressure and consequently
the stroke
He spent three months in the hospital
He was eventually discharged
She got him a physiotherapist and
he began to mend 
After several weeks, he began to move
around on crutches
She had been off work for months
Tending to him
She decided it was time she returned
to work
The children were in school and she 
was stuck with a man with whom
she couldn't even hold a decent 
conversation
He treated her with distrust and
suspicion
Even after all they had been through
She was still the outsider
He couldn't even say thank you to
her for the sacrifice she had made for
him
He expected it
He was her lord and she was the slave
His attitude was too put offish 
He had everything and was even very
comfortable in his guarded silence
She told him she would be resuming
work
He flared up
"You want to return to the streets,
you want to go and get serviced?
Your boyfriends and lovers had
been disturbing you to come back
to their beds?"
It was another side of him
The angry and jealous side
He was lashing out at her
The wealth upon which he built his
confidence and reality which made
him dismiss her right from the beginning
was gone
Suddenly, she was his property and
could also be taken away by another
He was scared of losing her
And rather than be tender and loving
he was aggressive and controlling
She knew all the signs
She had seen so much in her medical
practice
She laughed and walked into the bathroom
to prepare
By the time she finished dressing up
He was at the door
He had locked both doors and used
himself as a human barricade against
the front door
"Where do you think you are going?
You are going nowhere!
The person you are going to sleep with
must come and sleep with you here
right under my nose!"
She couldn't help but laugh
How she wished she had the confidence
to sleep around
She would have been doing so for many
years
She had endured a marriage without
love and affection for over a decade
Suddenly, His Lordship was desperate
She could have stayed with him
laid down beside him with her head
on his chest
They could have played scrabbles and
chess and card games
They could have read the scriptures
together or listened to radio shows
He built the wall right from the beginning
A wall so strong, that even he did not
know how to surmount it
After an hour of shouting and cursing
her, he went berserk!
He hit her with his crutches
She called the police
When the officers saw his condition
They escorted her out of the apartment
and told her to stay away until she 
was sure he had cooled off
She got to work and called some friends
That was how she moved out
He called the hospital and he was
assigned a private nurse
She told herself the marriage was over
She was not interested in anything
but her health and sanity
Every other would sort itself out
She had only stayed that long because
he had never been violent towards her
It was the one thing she swore
she would never take from any man
It took him three weeks to cool off
She got a call from her mother
He had seen her resolve and decided
to approach her from the weak spots
Her parents talked to her
She told them everything
She was just tired
The calamity he walked into could
have been avoided if he gave her 
a voice
She had two revelations but was 
ignored
He was the almighty
He didn't need anybody!
Her parents his a brick wall with her
Her mother called the Brother in 
Jeans and T-shirt
She said "They are closer in age to you,
perhaps the Holy Spirit will give you
the right word for them, please step
into this"
The Brother in Jeans called the husband
they talked for almost four hours
At the end of the four hours he had 
dropped the crutches
The Holy Spirit had healed him completely
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt told
him to go and look for his wife
He must beg her and ensure she forgave
him 
He must do everything she desired
She must be happy with him!
He said "Yes sir"
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt then
called the wife
He told her her husband will come to 
the hospital to look for her and beg
He told her to forgive him instantly
and then to tell him what she wanted
the marriage to look like going forward
She should not be intimidated or
scared
Her husband was a good man
He was just a little misguided and needed
to be instructed on how to do things right
She listened and said Thank you
He went looking for her
She allowed him to find her
They talked for the first time since
they were married
They talked as a couple should
He held on to his baby
She held on to her baby
They were just a girl and a boy all
over

PS: It's been three years
I remembered their story while 
discussing
with another couple yesterday
Submission without love is 
"Distancing"
Once your wife finds herself to be
just an appendage, an acquired
property, a subject, and a slave
Your marriage loses its dynamism
There will be a detachment
and an aloofness
She will submit but you will be alone
in your kangaroo kingdom
If you have ever played Chess, you
will know the importance of the queen!
A king in isolation is a dead king!
Love your wife, pray with your wife,
show her the culture of heaven,
let her be your best friend,
esteem her before all 
She will give you the world for free!

GSW's notes: The relationship between
Jesus and the church is a very good
example of submission
Jesus, the Lion and the Lamb
The church with all our issues here 
and there
And yet, his love for us remains 
unconditional and steadfast!
Many men crying submit are not in
anyway in submission to God Himself!
Love is always greater than rules
The spirit of a thing is better than
it's technicality
A brother with a heart full of love is
better than a Pastor with a heart
full of bile and mischief
Let your heart be filled with love
and watch your marriage thrive