Last Straw

It started from when they were in SS1
they became bunkmates 
He was a truant, expelled from another secondary 
school where he was a day student
His Father, a principal at the time had threatened 
to stop his education and enrol him as an
Auto mechanic artisan
It took his mother many days of pleading to
get his father to change his mind
As for him, he didn't know why his father was so angry
He got expelled for pulling a prank on the principal
It wasn't as if he stole anything
He was walking through the forbidden corridor of the 
administrative offices when he saw the principal's
office door was ajar
The principal's beautiful secretary was at the carpark,
he saw her just as he was climbing the stairs towards 
the administrative building
He didn't know why he peeped into the office
But he  did and he saw a huge stack of money 
on the principal's table
His instinct took over
He packed the money in a bag, tied the loose end of the bag'
and threw the bag of money outside the principal's window
He dashed out of the principal's office and walked briskly
downstairs!
He got to the bag of money and dragged it into the
abandoned school bus!
He made sure he hid it very carefully
Then he went off to class!
He had barely sat down in class when pandemonium broke loose
The principal's office had been burgled and the salary
of all the teaching and non-teaching staff had been stolen
Before he could say Jack-Robinson
The principal had called the police
The teachers had gathered in twos and threes, talking in hush tones
The Principal was a friend of his Father
The principal's family was a friend to their family
They all attend the same church
The principal's wife was still at ther house the previous day
She came to see his mother after Sunday's church service
He didn't steal the money, he just wanted to teach the principal
a lesson about being careful
He was still thinking when the assembly bell rang
The principal spoke first, announcing the theft of the money
The Police Inspector also spoke
Anybody with any relevant information should come forward!
"It is only a matter of time before we catch the culprit,
once we do this, we will expel the culprit and announce
his or her name in the newspapers and ensure that we will
publish the name in the daily newspaper!
Such a person will never get a job and 
the person's family name will be ruined!"
That was the moment he decided to confess
He waited until the assembly was over
He went to the principal's office and told his story
"Sir, it was a prank! I didn't know it would cause 
this much of a bother"
The principal followed him to the abandoned school bus
They found the money intact
The police people handcuffed him and 
threw him into their car
He slept at the police station that day
The story spread like wildfire
An SS11 student stole the entire salary of the school!
His Father was informed later that evening
His father left him at the station to stew all night
The next day, he was released on bail
He wrote a statement stating that all he wanted 
to do was point out to the Principal that it was 
careless of him to leave his office door 
open the way he did!
He didn't take a kobo out of the money!
What he did was a big deal!
It dawned on him when he saw his mother's 
red eyes and swollen face!
The poor woman had been crying all night!
His siblings looked at him as if he suddenly 
developed leprosy
His letter of expulsion came three weeks later!
He didn't face any panel, he was given the boot!
He stayed at home till the end of the 
academic calendar
It was sheer torture!
The consequence of his impulsive nature!
No school within their vicinity would take him
He had been marked and the story had been 
spread abroad!
Because of him, his father stopped going to the
civil service club to drink every evening
He said people were looking at him somehow 
and those who had the balls usually walked up
to him to ask if it was his son that was the "New Anini"
It was quite a tough period!
His father decided he had to go to a boarding school
Far, Far, Far away...
That was how he found himself in a boarding school,
sharing a bunk with this guy and repeating SS1
He was just grateful to be out of the house
He promised himself never to make his mother cry again!
This guy had scabies at the time
It was all over his body
Nobody wanted anything to do with him because the
skin disease was contagious
He didn't know what "scabies" was at the time 
He gladly shared the bunk and they became fast friends
he learnt that the guy was abandoned by his mother 
when he was three months old
He learnt that the guy had been in the boarding school
since he was an infant
The guy really didn't have anybody!
His Father was working with OYSADEP as an agricultural
extension officer
This kept him on the move most of the time!
Sometimes when they had a mid-term break,  the guy 
would have nowhere to go!
The guy became like a brother to him
They spent the holidays together and were inseparable
in school
They both graduated from secondary school without a hitch
He went on to the University
The guy went on to a polytechnic
They both graduated!
He got a job, settled down and started a family
The guy got a job, a very good job with a tourism company
The guy would only call him whenever he was in trouble
"Baba, I need your help! I am broke and I am finished,
I feel like committing suicide"
He would give the guy some money, as a brother, a friend
Next thing he would see the guy in Dubai, China, New York
gallivanting all over the world
When they see the guy will be full of tall tales
The guy was a chronic liar, a chain smoker, 
a womanizer and generally more of a pest
He talked to the guy about Jesus
The guy said "All I owe the church is my tithe and I will start 
paying when I am convinced I am mature enough to pay"
The guy's good look and exposure lures many women to him
ladies looking for easy streets and the applause of 
their friends
The "You took your eyes to the market gang"
once in a while, the guy would call him, crying!
"I will end it all, I am tired of my life, I am just end it"
He didn't know how to help the guy
He prays for him and tried to be understanding 
But the guy's life kept moving from calamity to calamity
He introduced many ladies to the guy, hoping the ladies
would have a positive impact on the guy
The guy would just sleep with such ladies and dump them
One day he met a friend of the guy
The friend said "The guy lies a lot, i dont even know
what to believe or not! How long have you known him?
He told the friend, over twenty years!
The friend said "Was his Father a sailor? Did a royal king
snatch his mother from his father, did he go to so and so
university? Was he ever an oil tycoon?
As the friend spoke he kept wondering how anybody
could live a life so steeped in deceit!
It was as if the guy was so ashamed of his own past
that he was reinventing his past and telling people
all sorts of lies about himself and his life!
One day, the guy called him and announced to him
that he was getting engaged!
He went to the event!
The lady was pretty and happy
He proposed, the lady said yes
They all cheered!
Three months later, the guy invited him to his wedding
He got to the registry and saw the bride
She was not the same lady the guy got engaged to
He didn't even know what to say
After the wedding ceremony, he called the guy aside
I hope you were truthful with this lady
If you build your marriage on lies, it wouldn't stand
The guy laughed him off
"What woman can survive on the truth?
Women love lies and the more adept you are at lying
the wider they open their legs for you!
This one came to my house often,
saw that I am a chain smoker (I have packs of 
cigarette everywhere, I don't go to any church,
I drink like a fish and I had someone I was planning
 to marry! Yet, she loitered around until I was available,
opened her legs as soon as I asked, got pregnant for
me without my permission and practically proposed
to me! I didn't spend a dime for this wedding!
She sponsored everything, even the honeymoon!
While she claimed to be a Born Again Christian,
a committed worker in a local church, and a decent
lady!
Later she will say "He lied to me"
Tell me, who lied to who here?
I might have said many things which are untrue, 
but my life and character proved that I was lying!
She saw all these signs and flags and jumped right in
She is either a fool or someone who wanted to be lied to!
In any case, I will not change who I am
If the marriage lasts, it will be because she wanted it to
If it doesn't last, it will be because she didn't want it to
That was why I refused to do church wedding
My oath was not before God
It was before men and government
And we both know that men and government lie all the time
A liar cannot hold another liar to account!
I don't care if the marriage lasts or not
I will be in it as long as she knows who she got married to
and adapt
The door is always open if she decided she wanted me
to become Jesus!
QED!
As the couple drove off for their honeymoon
He got it!
The guy married her because she was an asset
She married him because she was desperate
His bet would be on "How long before things fall apart"
As he drove home from the wedding venue
He reflected on the "crisis" being joined together
 in the name of marriage
People willfully compromising on many fronts 
All in the name of "I don't want to be single anymore"
One month later, the guy's wife called him
"Sir, my husband intends to secure a loan
He wanted to start his own tourism business
We need someone to stand as guarantor
I will be facilitating the loan from my office
So I cannot stand as guarantor for him
Would you do it?
He says I should call you
We need your signature urgently"
He told her he would call her back
He called the guy, he said "Your wife called me and said so and so"
The guy said "Have you signed? I needed that money desperately
I cannot survive on salary anymore
I have a plan and some clients already
I just need someone who has landed properties and a good name
to vouch for me!
The business will thrive and I will repay the loan in no time
He remembered the time He told the guy he had 
bought a second car
The guy told him to give him the first
He said No! He wanted to sell it
He needed the cash!
The guy said "I will buy it! How much is it?"
He told the guy the prize
That evening, when they met some friends of the guy
The guy was owing, one of them some money
The person asked the guy "What about the money 
you said you'd give me today?"
The guy said "I had it but I used it to pay my friend
here for his car that I bought today! I had to buy the car
and he would have sold it to someone else!"
He remembered how shocked he was at the ease
with which the guy lied right to his face without
batting an eye
He told the guy "I am sorry, I cannot stand as guarantor
for you! I cannot sign this document, look for somebody
else!"
The guy was shocked!
"This is my life we are talking about here,
I have already pencilled down your name
You have a good character, 
a consistent record of employment,
landed properties, a settled home and
you have known me for over 20 years!
If you sign I will get this loan immediately!
Please!"
He responded "I wish I could say all those
things you just said about you! But I cannot!
I am sorry! I cannot help you!
The guy cut the call!
25 years of friendship dissolved just like that
It was a little painful but even when the devil
wears a cassock, it is still the devil!

PS: This event happened in Lagos
The guy is still happily married to his wife
He didn't get the loan and he blames his friend
His friend lives in Lagos also
The two are no longer on talking terms
Was his friend wrong not to give him 
the benefit of the doubt?
His friend often wonders!