Of Things Remembered 3

Of Things Remembered 3

When I read the story you wrote yesterday, I felt a strong urge to write to you and share with you the things I remember about myself and my past relationships

Brother Gbenga, I think I am someone you can describe as a runner, for want of a better word to use to describe myself

I have been offered everything that any man can offer a woman so that she can be his wife, from love to money, to comfort, to joy, to living abroad, to houses

I was offered everything but I wouldn’t settle down, I wanted to, I prayed to, I cried to God for it, but I simply couldn’t do so

Before I traveled down here to Egypt, I had a traumatic sexual experience in Nigeria as a teenager, I was raped by two of my cousins, I was fifteen at the time

We usually traveled home for the festivals (Ileya and Ramadan)

I was one of the fancy ones from Lagos and they probably felt Lagos babes were all sluts

They had tried all the tricks they knew to get me to be alone with them but I wouldn’t

So, they forced themselves on me in the classroom of a school close to our family house

It became a scandal that tore the family apart till tomorrow and I was blamed for my part in the whole thing just as the boys were for their part

The event changed me and changed the way I related to men generally

Somewhere at the back of my mind, I came to the conclusion that all I was worth to any man was the sex he could get out of me

So, when they come to me, I make them work for it and then I give it to them

Once that is done, I move on

Stone cold, I did not look back and I didn’t do second takes because I didn’t want any emotional entanglement

As I grew older, this became the only pattern I was comfortable with being alone and when I found myself on the radar of any guy, I would play along until it got to a crescendo and then I would disappear as soon as we were done

It got to a point that I couldn’t recall the faces or names of the guys anymore

They just breezed in and out of my life and with each cycle I felt diminished, more like losing myself!

I remember coming to Nigeria to see you four years ago in Magodo, I remember that morning, as I booked the Uber from my hotel that I just had high hopes that things could turn around and it began the moment I got into the Uber, the driver latched onto me like butter to bread,

I told you all about it, we talked like old friends and then you prayed for me

That was it

I am married now to that Uber Driver and we have two babies

We live in California

Things took a turn by the power of the Holy Spirit

My situation turned into joy

I am sending this in to encourage someone that has gone through life and love in a haze like me

I want such a person to know that the first step is to come to Jesus

Be open to change through the Holy Spirit

Do not insist on your own way of doing things

I have changed so much for the better since our encounter

I read the stories and joined every ministry activity and observed my own life as it changed

I had commitment issues, I had to deal with emotional trauma, I had to heal and I did

I could have written a bit more but I don’t want to bore you

God bless you, Brother Gbenga

God bless you for sharing with us the reality of others so that we don’t feel as if we are all alone in this world

Thank you for showing us Christ in an unusual way

Thank you for being real God bless you

-Toyosi A