Secrets and Intrigues 

She said: I never cheated on him, not even for a day but his attitude drives me to seek solace and counsel from others, not sexual solace, just emotional support. I have always been drawn to men from childhood, as you can tell, I am a sort of tomboy I grew up among eleven brothers and I have always related more with the male side of our species than the female.

 When I met my husband, I told him clearly that I preferred to be friends with him than just be his wife I didn't mind marrying him, I loved him but more than a lover and a wife, I also craved a deep and understanding friendship. He said that was what he wanted too and we began very well in this regard.

 After we got married, money became the problem he had a job before we got married, then he lost the job for about a year and then he got another job that required us to move to another city. I also had a job but it was easier for me to get another job and this encouraged me to move with him, we both settled in and I got pregnant.

After I got pregnant I realised the damage that had been done by the nine months of his unemployment had somehow changed him. The way he talked to me, especially when we had issues which required that we spend some money was so vile and disrespectful It was as if I had suddenly become a liability and a cankerworm trying to drain him of his resources.

Mind you, it is not as if I am not contributing my quota to the house I am a lawyer, and I have the dream of becoming a chartered secretary so that I can earn more, he knew this but he refused to support my dream financially and I had to save as much as I could every month towards this dream. This became a bone of contention as I could only manage to support in terms of grocery shopping and the kindergarten fees for our son. He carried all the heavy burdens financially and this did not please him, he kept telling me I was selfish for not doing more for the present while I was consistently putting money away for my dream.

 I assured him that the courses I needed to take would put us in a better place financially in the future, if we were to beat struggling financially, the only way is to improve ourselves and earn more, I cannot earn more until I have all the right certificates. This led to fights every other day and eventually, one of my bosses noticed that I was always sad in the office he invited me to his office and we had a chat he began to counsel me on how to handle things and be balanced, he even gave me the funds to complete my savings and enrol for the course I wanted to do he never made any sexual advancement towards me.

He told me to put my head down, study hard and pass my exams he told me the marital storm would blow over in two years if I could stay humble and get to my destination "careerwise" quicker than planned. The intervention of my boss helped to free up some money from my end and I was able to do more at home, this was what he noticed that he began to ask me where I was getting the extra money from I told him everything that had happened and how my boss had stepped in to help.

 The next day, he said he wanted us to start trying for another baby, our son was already two years old and I had several professional examinations to write in the next two years.

The first pregnancy was so complicated that I was in a wheelchair for three months towards the end of the pregnancy as a result He was aware of this and even swore at the time that we wouldn't have another baby I was the one who begged him not to be too hasty with that decision as I would heal and have another baby by the grace of God.

 I said he should shelve the pregnancy idea for now as it is not part of my plan until I complete the courses I have to write, he flared up and accused me of cheating he said the pregnancy talk was a test for him to know if I was sleeping with my boss or not and by my response, he was sure I was cheating.

 There was nothing I said that he was willing to listen to or reason with he said he wanted a divorce, He reported to my parents and the church leadership they stepped in and tried to mediate the next thing I saw was that he had moved out of the house he sent me a message "the separation countdown has started, in two years you will be free to marry your sugar daddy" He wrote some things that I couldn't even believe would come from a husband to a wife. His words hurt me deeply I told my boss, and he said I should suspend my plans and find a way to reunite with my husband I reached out to his parents and we all had a family meeting He said the only way out was for me to resign with immediate effect and get pregnant.

 I agreed I resigned and began to hunt for another job as for the pregnancy plan, I said yes to him but I was not mentally ready for the ordeal I had also not written to the examination board that I wanted to suspend my professional courses I cannot imagine sitting at home without a job and not taking the time to prepare and write my examination.

There is an age threshold one can get to and the certificate will no longer be worth its value towards one's career, I needed to get that certification as soon as possible so that it would be relevant. He had also demanded that I block my former boss and delete his number I did this for the sake of peace He began to carry the financial burden of the house alone and this made him irritable towards me If I asked him for any money to buy my toiletries and meet other household needs, he would flare up claiming he is earning so little and If I had not cheated on him, I would have been meeting my own needs and not be bothering him.

He said not having the basic things I needed was my penance for cheating and I should be grateful he took me back. This went on for about a year, during this time I managed to write some of my exams and I did very well I didn't tell him I was writing exams or that I passed.

 Every weekend when I had to write exams, I only told him I was going to see my parents I go with my son, drop my son off with them, write my exam and then I return home afterwards I also didn't get pregnant despite his best efforts I enjoyed the sex though, he put himself to work to get a baby and he was extra nice to me whenever it was time to have sex, this worked in my favour at every level.

The sex was good but because he wanted a baby, it was way better He was making love for a purpose and he is a purpose-driven person. After that year had gone by and I didn't get pregnant, he said he would like us to see a doctor to find out what the issue was I refused because I had done birth control secretly and I didn't want him to find out... At this point, I couldn't help laughing out loud I had been holding it in but the calm way in which she was revealing all the things she didn't disclose to her husband as if they wouldn't make him mad later was funny to me I said "And you were still in contact with that former boss of yours" She said "Yes I was. He was the one that mentored me through the exams both via phone call and sometimes we met at my former office. Without his help, I would have failed woefully!!" I had his second number and I saved it under a pseudonym I needed all the help I could get and he was the only one who offered me help without any strings attached I nodded. She continued: I finished my examinations the next year and I passed with flying colours I got a job with a pharmaceutical company as their corporate secretary and I took the job.

 Our child was four years old now and I was willing to try for another pregnancy I went to take out birth control I believed I had navigated the perilous period successfully in the best interest of our marriage and family.

He had wondered how I was able to get this new job and decided to investigate he found a way to access my phone he saw the pictures of my ICSAN Induction and he saw that my former boss was there He checked my messages until he found the messages between myself and my boss talking about the training schedule, meetings in the office and my examination results and induction He saw where I told my boss I was taking out the birth control He saw where my boss sent me the link to my current job and how he prepared me for the interview sessions and even the meeting with the MD of the company I am working with There were no amorous messages or pictures or any other unwholesome thing in our messages it was all professional discussion apart from some messages in which I would just write long epistles about my marriage How my husband was treating me, the fact that I was fed up and so on My boss always replied by writing "It is well" or "Just a few months more" or "Hold on, you are almost there" My husband filed for divorce based on these messages and this is why I have come to see you, sir. He said: I have done my investigations and it is true that whenever she was not at home, she was with her parents I spent a lot of money to compare her timeline and that of her boss, so if she claimed she didn't sleep with him, based on the evidence I have, I will say she may be telling the truth I will leave the truth of it between her and God and her former boss I, however, cannot get over the lies and deceit How can any man want to stay married to a woman who is so deceitful.

For three years or even four, she plotted and schemed against me while all I did was deal with her in honesty and openness of mind We would sit in the same house, and she would tell me she was going to see her parents and I will believe that is where she is going meanwhile, she was writing professional courses and examss She did induction and even got a job She used birth control while making me believe it was God delaying us from having a second child How can any man feel safe with such a woman or believe anything that comes out of her mouth? I am so done with this marriage There is nothing anybody can tell me, it is over! PS: I laughed so much when I sat with the couple above The wife was cheeky and ingenious, no doubt, and the husband felt she took him for a fool but I couldn't help the laughter Even as I write this, I am bawling with laughter Oh my! I am not encouraging any form of deceit or underhand play among couples, please! I command that couples must always be transparent with each other. It is just that, couples have to be understanding and kind to each other too Nothing drives a partner out of a union like a lack of understanding and support. Of what use is a marriage when the two cannot work together to bring the best out of each other? I told the husband he should be proud of his wife and not disdain her for succeeding despite the odds she faced both at home and in her career I also told him not to miss out on the benefit of her success after suffering through the process with her Whether she involved him in the process directly or not, he suffered through it with her and now that the season to benefit has arrived, he should not allow his ego to cheat him of the soft life that has arrived He saw reason with me They hugged and kissed and today, early this morning, I got the news that Sister Godiya has put to bed a beautiful baby girl. It all worked out in the end.