The Dead Horse

Suddenly everybody got in a panic mode,
a pastor called and said he had been
stooling and his BP has outrun a chariot
at top speed, the same pastor’s wife
called saying her husband got a heart
attack when he heard the news
His older sister called and said “Take her
for deliverance at one QYM church
and let her come to her senses"
His mother said “Consider how long you
have been holding on, remember to be
like Christ and to bear it to the end”
His wife became extremely repentant,
crying like a jelly fish, “Give me one more
chance, please, one more chance” was
her song of redemption
All he did was file for divorce after years
of abuse, torture and pain.
That was his crime, refusing to take the
abuse and the pain unleashed on him
unrepentantly by the same woman who
suddenly saw a shift in the power climate
and started kneeling like a frog at
every given chance
Where were these people when he was
lamenting and crying that he was
being abused by this woman over and
over again
Some of the abuse he had suffered
from this woman had spilled to the
public space because she couldn’t
help herself
She had dealt with him after a church
service once that the pastor and his
assistant came to their house and
said to her face that “What you did
is more than enough for your husband
to call it quits on this marriage, thank
God he is a Christian who is walking
with the Holy Spirit”
She heard them but didn’t stop!
She did it until his younger brother
and his family tacitly decided never
to step their feet into his house again
for fear of the poisonous barbs of his
wife
He begged, appealed, cried, had
several sleepless nights, fell into
depression and came out of it all
because he married a lady who was
determined to rule over him at all cost
When they got married, he was not as
rich as she was but he was hardworking
and knew the only way for him in life
is upward and forward
She was the highflier, the celebrity,
the power in the term Power couple!
She ruled with Impunity
There was a day she traveled abroad
for a conference without making any
provision for food for him and their
children
He got home from school runs and
found her note on the table
“I am off to Dubai”
She left him with a set of twins
(7 years old) and a 2 months old baby
It wasn’t her first time
All she did throughout the marriage
was serve herself and her interest
and damn him
He had no right to complain, that was
her exclusive right
She would rant and rant and rant
until she began to rant about imaginary
crimes he committed.
She accused him of sleeping with
their house girl.
She said she saw it and invited the
pastor to their house
The pastor came and started speaking to
him in parables, he had no idea what
was going on
Then the pastor got to the point and
called the house girl
The house girl fell on her knees and
cried bitterly
The pastor got confused and invited
his wife to back up her claim
His wife said it was a dream and even
then nobody got a sorry!
And the accusations didn't stop
She had a list of names she reels out
every time as the people, she was sure
he had cheated on her with since their
marriage
Some of these people were living abroad
and her husband lives in Nigeria
She insisted distance was not a deterrent
to cheating
She was hell-bent on isolating him, keeping
him friendless and contactless so that
he can remain as he was... Her punching bag
His wife accused his mother of raising him
to be drive-less and classless but all he
was doing at the time was raising their
children because apart from giving birth,
her career took precedence over everything
She didn’t have a maternal instinct and so
he sacrificed everything to ensure the
children had parental care!
This was a woman who forgot her own
children in school several times when
she was supposed to pick them up
Once, the children almost got kidnapped
by folks who had come to realize they
were the last to leave school every day
When the teachers called him and told
him some people came to school claiming
she sent them to pick the children, he
realized depending on her for the welfare
of the children is unwise and he took over
the school runs from her
It was exactly what she wanted
He just got a job at the time and he felt
she should be able to pick the children
since their school was five minutes away
from her office and ten minutes away
from their house
All she had to do was pick them up and
drop them with the housemaid while
he establishes himself at his new office
but she wanted nothing to do with it
Every time he tried to succeed financially,
she killed it.
She told him to his face that when men
have money they tend to cheat and she
wouldn’t pray that he succeeds because
she knew it was poverty that kept him
faithful
When he met her they both had B.Sc
Within ten years of marriage she had
done her M.Sc, MBA, several other
courses and won several awards while
he cheered her on
When he told her he wanted to go for
his masters, a family need suddenly
sprouted and her financial support to
their home was cut down
He was very sure she never wanted
him to prosper
He had a job but the pay was so low
that she was the one bearing the cost
of the rent, the children school fees and
other capital expenses
This was her basic negotiation power
and whip with which she kept him in-line
Whenever she was unhappy, she would
withdraw the funds and whatever support
and make him and the children suffer
Sometimes the words she would say to
him would make him go without food for
days because she was the “breadwinner”
Their challenge was not unknown to
their friends and family especially her own
He was once on the phone with his mother
he said "I have just paid the house rent"
His wife overheard him on the phone and
started screaming "How dare you tell
your mother that you paid the rent?
Rent that i paid with my sweat and blood,
Have you ever worked to earn such an
amount in your life? And your mother
believed you...Nobody in your family knows
how to tell the truth"
She kept the appearance of a prim and
proper wife to her family members and
he dare not report her to them
They knew she was the one bearing
the financial weight of the family and
this had basically made him the laughing
stock at her end of the family
Her mother once met him at an event
and she said “You, my daughter is feeding
you and three children and you call
yourself a man? Do you want to kill her?”
He just kept quiet and kept back the tears.
How was he supposed to respond to that?
His breakthrough came in their eighth
year of marriage
An old friend came to see him at his
office and the friend told him about
an app he was building
The friend needed some money to
publish this app on the google play store
and iPhone apps
He had just the right amount and
loaned this to his friend
The apps were published that same day
When he told his wife about it, she almost
killed him
“You will never amount to anything” she
screamed! “Every time you had a dime,
you waste it.
Are you under a curse?
Why did I marry a mistake like you?”
Her words as usual cut him to the quick
but the apps became a success
and his friend made him a partner in
their tech venture
He provided content and he was so good
at it that in no time he was being invited t
o conferences and seminars to teach
and speak for good money
That was how the table turned
He now had his own money and she had
no other hold on him
He bought a house at Ajah, moved his
children to a better school and his wife’s
salary of 600,000 Naira a month became
coins to him
He thought this would change her, it didn’t
He bought her a car and employed a driver
for her hoping she would come to see that
his success was their success and to her
advantage
She began to wage war against him about
his job, determined that he must quit!
He said no!
She responded by throwing fits every day
She would lock herself up in a room
and cry for many days
She would lock his shirt, tear it sometimes
and insist that the job was the enemy and
he must let it go
She reported him to every body, when he
went to see them or they came to the house
they would all see how unreasonable her
demand was and ask her to calm down
She kept accusing him of cheating with
his new colleagues and insisting her old
allegations were valid
She kept talking to him like he was still
a nobody, telling him his five minutes
under the sun will soon be up but he only
got richer and better
So she went to his office one day and
caused a stink!
she was tired of waiting for him to fail so
she decided to trigger his sack by doing
drama at his office
When he complained, she said he should
send her the divorce papers because she
was done with the marriage
That was when he got a lawyer and filed
for divorce
At first, his wife didn’t believe he meant it
She felt it was one of those knee jerk
reactions and then she got the letter and
she realized it was true
She took him seriously and began to cry
Suddenly she started praying, taking the
children to school and picking them up
from school
Suddenly she wanted the marriage back
She wanted to prove to him that the past
was a mistake and they can start afresh
He was exhausted
Being married to her felt like flogging
a dead horse
He just couldn’t bear it anymore!