The Monkey

The Monkey

They always assume a child will forget 
Or perhaps they didn't even imagine the child had the ability to remember
They do certain strange things to the child
Sometimes they just couldn't help themselves
Sometimes because such a thing was done to them
Sometimes because they were sheer evil
Sometimes they were just selfish, broken and wicked
At other times, the child was willingly offered to them
Just like her mother did
Her mother was the one who willingly offered her to the man
The man had been her mother's client for a while
He had a mutually beneficial arrangement 
Her mother offered her body for his pleasure
He gave her mother financial support in exchange
Her mother was one of such women
Hard as nails and as stubborn as a billy boat
No man wanted to marry her
The ones who tried very hard regretted it
Her mother just didn't know how to settle down to boring married life
She must be in town, rocking parties and playing socialite
The men in her world loved her and spent so much to get into her pants
But woe betide the man that tries to domesticate her 
She was as wild as a boar 
Even when she was pregnant, she couldn't be locked down
She was like a house without walls
So the best she did was deliver a child per marriage
She couldn't stay longer than two years under any man
She did this throughout her twenties and thirties
Her lifestyle resulted in five children
She dumped the children at her family house
The concept of motherhood was elusive to her
Her children were raised by the street and whomever it may concern
By the time her mother got to her forties
The swagger had waned
All the toning creams and skin lotions in the world couldn't prevent the sun from setting on her youthfulness
Her customers moved on to younger targets
The roller coaster ride slowed down
The more pertinent questions of life started starring her in the face
How do I survive?
Hitherto she had lived without thoughts of tomorrow
Hitherto she had shunned all forms of work and responsibility
Her children were strangers to her
She started taking the children one by one to their father's houses
She would complain about feeding cost and sometimes lie that the government 
had threatened to collect the children from her for using them to hawk goods
Sometimes when she is lucky, she would get some money
At other times, she would use the child to beg for money on the street all day
Until she was approached by a man one day who was interested in having sex with her 12 year old daughter
She was crossed with the man for proposing such to her at first
But when she saw a wad of cash...
That evening, she paid close attention to her daughter for the first time
She noticed that her daughter was indeed shaping up to become a beautiful young lady
She sat her daughter down and discussed with her
Are boys looking at you somehow?
Did anybody try to touch you somehow?
Are you a virgin?
Her daughter opened up to her
It was the first time her mother ever spoke to her or paid her any attention
It was the best day of her life
She had never known a mother's love all her life
She grew up like an orphan and on the good conscience of some relatives and strangers
Her mother was barely around
Her mother rook her out later that evening
They went to a hotel
Her mother collected the key to a room and led her to the room
Her mother told her to undress and relax
About 30 minutes later
The man arrived
He spoke with her mother and later pounced on her
Her mother held her legs while she got pounded for pleasure
It was hell!
It lasted for a while, perhaps because she resisted or because it was so tight
Eventually he did what he wanted
She cried all through it
Afterwards, her mother snapped at her, told her to stop crying and be grateful
Her mother showed her the wad of cash
The man paid her mother 20,000
She could barely walk properly as they returned home
By 5Am the next morning, she took the 20000 from her mother's wardrobe and sneaked out of the house
She took the first bus out of their town
She had followed her mother to her Father's house about a year before then
It was the only time she ever left the town
Her photographic memory had taken her back to the house several times
She arrived at the house by 8AM that morning
Her Father had a wife and other children
She met everybody at home
She told her father what happened
Her father put her in a car and drove her straight to a private secondary school
She was in JSS 2 and her father was impressed by her level of understanding
She was enrolled as a boarding student immediately
She could categorically say that was the day her destiny turned around
She graduated from the school and proceeded to the University to study law
The only problem she had was with relationships
Her mother had damaged her beyond repair
She didn't like anybody in her space, caring for her
She mistrusted every genuine gesture of love and care
She disliked masculine attention especially anything relating to dating to relationship
She tried very hard to get over it to no avail
She spoke with a therapist, it was very helpful
She overcame the "Unsettled" feeling that she felt immediately a man comes into her space
She got better at dealing with flirtatious behaviour
But she couldn't get over the fear of sex and hatred for her mother
Every time she saw her siblings and how damaged they were
Her two younger sisters were already in their second husband houses
Her two younger brothers were lowlife touts
She always felt like killing her mother
Why would her mother choose to have children?
Why would someone like a mother be given children by God?
Then she became a born Again Christian
She was all of thirty-four years old when she did
It was at a naming ceremony of one of her colleagues
The pastor that named the child spoke excellently well
She went to see him after the naming ceremony
She asked him why God gave obviously crazy women children while denying some sane women the same
He asked her if she was a born again Christian
She didn't know what one had to do with the other
He told her even if he explained, she can never understand
Because she had never experienced the love of God first hand
It made sense to her somehow
She gave her life to Jesus
That night, she knelt down and prayed for the first time
On her own, in her room, kneeling by her bedside
The mental chatter of many years had been overwhelming
Doubt, hate, fear, pain, anxiety, worry all attacking her peace and quiet
She needed to know why God allowed her mother to give birth to her
She needed to get the monkey off her back
She needed to be free
She said "Lord Jesus, I have given my life to you! Holy Spirit I was told you will help me to feel loved first hand,
Please let me feel that love, let it wash away these voices and give me peace"
Everywhere was dark, she wanted to get off her knees and roll on the bed straightaway
But she found out she couldn't get off her knees
Something was happening in her belly
There was a push of air and a release
Tears started pouring out of her core 
She didn't know for how long she was on that spot
By the time she woke up the next morning, still on her knees but face down on the bed
She was a new person!
She saw colour for the first time!
She had been colour blind from birth! Though she never saw it as a big deal!
She was light on her feet, happy, joyful, radiant
Her heart was full of love! She had changed!
She drove to her mother's house and saw her for the first time
She understood that the lost could never have led anybody to the right path
Darkness could never have led people to light
She approached her mother that day
They hugged and talked
She arranged for her mother's monthly upkeep and forgave her
The following Sunday, she brought her mother and her siblings to her house for the first time
It was the first time they had all been under a roof in over 20 years
She invited the same pastor to her home to bless her family
It was a great reunion!

PS: Her mother gave her life to Christ during the reunion party
Her mother had never experienced such an overwhelming love before
She got engaged on her 35th birthday a year later
Her husband was an old school mate who had been crushing on her since their university days
They reconnected on the social media and got talking
They got married months later and had their first child in 2018
Good is strong, evil is weak
Light is life, darkness is death
Love is bliss, hatred is torment
Joy is health, sorrow is sickness
Forgiveness is empowering, unforgiveness is crippling
Choose wisely