(Genesis Chapters 6-8)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen in
the studio and viewers at home.
Welcome to the most watched talk show
in the country! Our viewership has been
top of the rating for the past ten years,
and we owe that position to people
like you!” (APPLAUSE)
“I am your regular host, Thomas.
Today’s show is unique in a way, we have
some people in the studio I will introduce
to you shortly.
They all seem to have a problem with one
man, who is also in the studio with us.
The reason they are here is because
I think we can find a peaceful solution to
the issue at hand, I hate to think what
could happen if a solution is not arrived at.
Ladies and gentlemen, please let’s hear it
for the Mayor of our city, Mr. Lawrence!”
“We also have in the studio the President
of the National Association of Furniture
Makers, Mr. Bakare!” (APPLAUSE)
“The Chairman of the National Shipping
Council is also here, people. Please let’s
give a warm welcome to Mallam Aminu!
“The Boss of the Environmental Protection
Board is also here with us, in the person of
Mrs. Okonkwo!” (APPLAUSE)
The Executive Director of the National Zoo
is present too. Please, a warm welcome to
Dr. (Mrs) George! (APPLAUSE)
“And finally, ladies and gentlemen!
The most controversial man in
the country right now, the most talked
about individual, the man who can’t seem
to avoid being in the news- and almost
for all the wrong reasons- let’s welcome
Mr- or is it Captain…? To be honest,
I don’t really know what to call him-
Noah! (BOOS & JEERS)
“Ah. Ok, ladies and gentlemen, let’s kick off.
Mr. Mayor, what do you have to say about
the issue at hand?”
MAYOR: “Well, I want to say Noah should
be taken to a psychiatric hospital!
He needs to get his head examined!
He has become a nuisance to everybody
in this city, with that stupid thing he’s
building, on a property that doesn’t
belong to him!
That is lawlessness and we cannot
People must learn to be law abiding-
that was why I was elected mayor:
to uphold the law!”
THOMAS: “Mr. Bakare, what is your
take on this issue?”
BAKARE: “Honestly, I just got informed
a few weeks ago by our association
members that gopher wood was getting
We later realized that Noah here had
bought all the gopher wood available
to build that thing he’s constructing.
That is not acceptable.
You just cannot buy up a product
Gopher wood make the best furniture and
it is not right for one man to buy up the
It is immoral, it is unfair, it is unjust and
it is ungodly!”
OKONKWO: “I have been trying to rationalize
Noah’s actions but the more I try to,
the more confused I get.
You just cannot build that thing and occupy
that much space in the city.
The masterplan of the city has been altered
by Noah and we will since marked it for
GEORGE: “Noah is operating an illegal zoo
without a license.
That thing he is building is just a disaster
waiting to happen.
How can anyone in his right mind build a box
that huge, pack it full of animals and there’s
no provision for ventilation, except one
window! One! Madness!”
THOMAS: “Ok, ladies and gentlemen!
Mallam Aminu, I will come back to you.
Please let’s allow Noah to talk now,
Noah, what indeed is going on?
You bought the entire country’s stock
of gopher wood to build…
what exactly are you building?
The whole country is curious…”
NOAH: “Thank you, Thomas.
Some months ago, God spoke to me.
He asked me to build an ark with gopher
wood and gather all animal species,
male and female and put in the ark.
I am simply carrying out God’s instruction…”
BAKARE: “Which God? The god of
gopher wood? Mstcheeeew!!!”
THOMAS: “But why would God ask you
to build an ark? What is an ark, by the
way? And why pack it full of animals?”
NOAH: “God is disappointed He created
man because the thoughts of man’s heart
is evil all the time. So he has decided to
destroy the whole earth…”
NOAH: “Well, He’s going to flood the earth
by making it rain for forty days and forty
Only those in the ark will be spared,
everybody and everything else would die”
THOMAS: “Wow! So, only those inside the
ark would be saved! Interesting.
So, how can I get a ticket for this voyage?
Hahaha! Mallam Aminu, what do you
have to say to this?”
AMINU: “I think Noah is just a radical mad
man who is just seeking attention.
That thing he’s building is not sea-worthy.
I am a seasoned ship builder and I can tell
you from experience that box is a tragedy.
Besides, you don’t build a ship in the hinterland.
Ships are built by the sea so they could be
launched in the sea. How does he hope to
move that ark of his to the sea? It makes
NOAH: “I don’t have to take it to the sea, sir.
Rain is going to fall and flood the earth,
the water will rise above everything on earth
and carry the ark above the flood.
God is going to destroy the earth because
of the level of decadence and iniquity.
If only you will all repent and seek His face,
I am sure he will change His mind and save
OKONKWO: “How do you know all this?
Do you have a radio tuned to God?
THOMAS: “Well, ladies and gentlemen.
We will go on a short break and return to
this very interesting discussion.
Let’s hear the weekly weather forecast with
Jenny and the news headlines with Frank
before we resume our discussion.
Jenny, how are you doing- what is the weather
going to be like in the next one week?”
JENNY: “Hello, Tom! We’ll be having a very
sunny and bright day tomorrow and the
But by Thursday, it seems we may have some
dew early in the morning and a bit of chilly
Hopefully, by Saturday the weather should
be bright and sunny again…”
NOAH: “No, Jenny. When the rains come
down on Thursday, there will be no respite
for the next forty days and forty nights.
It’s so unfortunate you people do not
believe me. But when you realize I am
telling you the truth, it would be TOO LATE…”