The Rain

THE ARK
(Genesis Chapters 6-8)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen in 
the studio and viewers at home. 
Welcome to the most watched talk show 
in the country! Our viewership has been 
top of the rating for the past ten years, 
and we owe that position to people 
like you!” (APPLAUSE)
“I am your regular host, Thomas. 
Today’s show is unique in a way, we have 
some people in the studio I will introduce 
to you shortly. 
They all seem to have a problem with one 
man, who is also in the studio with us. 
The reason they are here is because 
I think we can find a peaceful solution to 
the issue at hand, I hate to think what 
could happen if a solution is not arrived at. 
Ladies and gentlemen, please let’s hear it 
for the Mayor of our city, Mr. Lawrence!” 
(APPLAUSE)
“We also have in the studio the President 
of the National Association of Furniture 
Makers, Mr. Bakare!” (APPLAUSE)
“The Chairman of the National Shipping 
Council is also here, people. Please let’s 
give a warm welcome to Mallam Aminu! 
(APPLAUSE)
“The Boss of the Environmental Protection
 Board is also here with us, in the person of 
Mrs. Okonkwo!” (APPLAUSE)
The Executive Director of the National Zoo 
is present too. Please, a warm welcome to 
Dr. (Mrs) George! (APPLAUSE) 
“And finally, ladies and gentlemen! 
The most controversial man in 
the country right now, the most talked 
about individual, the man who can’t seem 
to avoid being in the news- and almost 
for all the wrong reasons- let’s welcome 
Mr- or is it Captain…? To be honest, 
I don’t really know what to call him-
 Noah! (BOOS & JEERS)
“Ah. Ok, ladies and gentlemen, let’s kick off. 
Mr. Mayor, what do you have to say about 
the issue at hand?”
MAYOR: “Well, I want to say Noah should 
be taken to a psychiatric hospital! 
He needs to get his head examined! 
He has become a nuisance to everybody 
in this city, with that stupid thing he’s
 building, on a property that doesn’t 
belong  to him! 
That is lawlessness and we cannot 
have that. 
People must learn to be law abiding- 
that was why I was elected mayor: 
to uphold the law!”
THOMAS: “Mr. Bakare, what is your 
take on this issue?”
BAKARE: “Honestly, I just got informed 
a few weeks ago by our association 
members that gopher wood was getting 
scarce. 
We later realized that Noah here had 
bought all the gopher wood available 
to build that thing he’s constructing.
 That is not acceptable. 
You just cannot buy up a product 
everybody uses! 
Gopher wood make the best furniture and 
it is not right for one man to buy up the 
stock. 
It is immoral, it is unfair, it is unjust and 
it is ungodly!”
OKONKWO: “I have been trying to rationalize 
Noah’s actions but the more I try to, 
the more confused I get. 
You just cannot build that thing and occupy 
that much space in the city. 
The masterplan of the city has been altered 
by Noah and we will since marked it for 
demolition!”
GEORGE: “Noah is operating an illegal zoo 
without a license. 
That thing he is building is just a disaster 
waiting to happen. 
How can anyone in his right mind build a box 
that huge, pack it full of animals and there’s 
no provision for ventilation, except one 
window! One! Madness!”
THOMAS: “Ok, ladies and gentlemen! 
Mallam Aminu, I will come back to you. 
Please let’s allow Noah to talk now, 
shall we? 
Noah, what indeed is going on? 
You bought the entire country’s stock 
of gopher wood to build… 
what exactly are you building? 
The whole country is curious…”
NOAH: “Thank you, Thomas. 
Some months ago, God spoke to me. 
He asked me to build an ark with gopher 
wood and gather all animal species, 
male and female and put in the ark. 
I am simply carrying out God’s instruction…”
BAKARE: “Which God? The god of 
gopher wood? Mstcheeeew!!!”
THOMAS: “But why would God ask you 
to build an ark? What is an ark, by the 
way? And why pack it full of animals?”
NOAH: “God is disappointed He created 
man because the thoughts of man’s heart 
is evil all the time. So he has decided to 
destroy the whole earth…”
GEORGE: “How?”
NOAH: “Well, He’s going to flood the earth 
by making it rain for forty days and forty 
nights. 
Only those in the ark will be spared, 
everybody and everything else would die”
THOMAS: “Wow! So, only those inside the 
ark would be saved! Interesting. 
So, how can I get a ticket for this voyage? 
Hahaha! Mallam Aminu, what do you 
have to say to this?”
AMINU: “I think Noah is just a radical mad 
man who is just seeking attention. 
That thing he’s building is not sea-worthy. 
I am a seasoned ship builder and I can tell 
you from experience that box is a tragedy. 
Besides, you don’t build a ship in the hinterland. 
Ships are built by the sea so they could be 
launched in the sea. How does he hope to 
move that ark of his to the sea? It makes 
no sense!”
NOAH: “I don’t have to take it to the sea, sir. 
Rain is going to fall and flood the earth, 
the water will rise above everything on earth 
and carry the ark above the flood. 
God is going to destroy the earth because 
of the level of decadence and iniquity. 
If only you will all repent and seek His face, 
I am sure he will change His mind and save 
you all…”
OKONKWO: “How do you know all this? 
Do you have a radio tuned to God? 
Nonsense!”
THOMAS: “Well, ladies and gentlemen.
 We will go on a short break and return to 
this very interesting discussion. 
Let’s hear the weekly weather forecast with 
Jenny and the news headlines with Frank
 before we resume our discussion.
 Jenny, how are you doing- what is the weather 
going to be like in the next one week?”
JENNY: “Hello, Tom! We’ll be having a very 
sunny and bright day tomorrow and the 
day after. 
But by Thursday, it seems we may have some
dew early in the morning and a bit of chilly 
weather
Hopefully, by Saturday the weather should 
be bright and sunny again…”
NOAH: “No, Jenny. When the rains come 
down on Thursday, there will be no respite 
for the next forty days and forty nights. 
It’s so unfortunate you people do not 
believe me. But when you realize I am 
telling you the truth, it would be TOO LATE…”