The Unofficial Assignment

THE UNOFFICIAL ASSIGNMENT

(1st Chronicles 11:16-20)

“Hey, guys! We need to talk!”

Eleazar signaled to his friends, Jashobeam and Abishai. He seemed very excited. Eleazar always wore his emotions on his sleeve; he doesn’t know how to be diplomatic.

“What is it?” Abishai asked.

“Let’s go somewhere private to talk…”

“Here is private enough, mate!” Jashobeam replied as he took a mouthful of wine from the bottle. “The whole Team is here, having a good time: why can’t we talk here? I’m enjoying the party, don’t distract me!”

“Trust me, Jash, you’ll absolutely love what I want to tell you! Let’s go!”

The 3 men walked out of the hall. The Team was having a Boys’ Night Out when Eleazar beckoned on Abishai and Jashobeam to come out.

They walked a distance away to a quiet place and sat down on a bench to talk.

Abishai said, “So, what’s up?”

“Guys! We have an UNOFFICIAL ASSIGNMENT!” Eleazar blurted out excitedly. “We have a battle to prosecute!”

Jashobeam was unimpressed. “What battle? What assignment? And how do you mean, unofficial?”

“Calm down, Bro! I went to see the Boss about an hour ago. I waited in the hall for about 10 minutes before I was ushered into his office. He was on a video call with his wife, Madam Abigail…”

Jashobeam hissed. “How is the Boss’ video call with his wife my business? I still want to enjoy the party, Bro! Don’t make me miss the best part!”

“My problem with you is your impatience, Jash!”

“Mine with you is your ability to waste people’s time! Talk like a man, Bro!”

“Well, I overheard the Boss telling his wife he would love to drink water from the well at the Gate of Bethlehem! I was so excited when I heard that!”

Abishai smirked. “I think I agree with Josh on your ability to waste people’s time…”

“Gosh, don’t you guys get it?” Eleazar was exasperated!

“Get what exactly?” Abishai and Jashobeam wondered.

“The Boss longs to drink water from the well at the gate of Bethlehem. LET’S GO GET IT FOR HIM!”

Jashobeam and Abishai looked at each other.

And smiled.

They smelled blood!

“Now you’re talking, Bro!”

Eleazar saw the glint in their eyes. “But guys, you must know Bethlehem has been taken over by the Philistines. It won’t be an easy task. Let’s inform the Team and plan out strategy to attack by dawn…”

Jashobeam sneered, “Seriously? You think we need the whole Team for this? Are you aware I once single handedly killed 300 men with one spear? How many Philistines are in Bethlehem that we would need the whole Team? Come on!”

“I once killed 300 people with a spear too! We don’t need the Team for this assignment: we can handle those rascals ourselves!” Abishai submitted.

Eleazar smiled. He knew how these guys loved fighting! He could see their excitement: all their initial reluctance had evaporated! “Okay then. Let’s go get some rest and we hit them first thing in the morning!”

“In the mor- are you crazy? We hit them NOW!” Jashobeam roared.

He gulped down the rest of his wine and screamed, “Let’s go get ‘em!”

The 3 men went into the warehouse to pick the necessary weapons they needed to execute the UNOFFICIAL ASSIGNMENT. By midnight, they were ready to roll.

“Guys, we need a container to get the water! Let’s not get there, kill them all and come back without any water”, Eleazar reminded them.

“Ah! The water! I forgot about that! I think I have a 4 liter bottle somewhere…”, Jashobeam replied.

“I wonder why the Boss wants water from the well at the GATE of Bethlehem. Why not water from the well at the CENTER of the city? That would afford us more time to fight and kill more Philistines! Why kill 100 when you can kill 500?” Apparently, Abishai wanted to spill more Philistine blood…

They went on the mission and returned by 0500 hours the next day.

With a 4 liter bottle of water from the well at the Gate of Bethlehem.

As they parked their Hummer in the camp, Joab saw them.

“Where are you guys coming from this early?”

“We went on an assignment for the Boss, Sir!”

“An assignment? I’m not aware of that!”

“It’s unofficial, sir! We need to report to him immediately…”

The 3 men met with the Boss by 0800 hours.

“You say you needed to see me urgently. What is this about?”

Eleazar stepped forward.

“Sir! I was with you 12 hours ago. I overheard you voice your desire to drink water from the well of Bethlehem…”

Abishai cut in; “So we went at midnight to Bethlehem to get you the water Sir!”

Jashobeam brought out the bottle; “Here it is sir! 4 liters of water from the well at the Gate of Bethlehem, just as you wished!”

The Boss looked at the 3 rugged men before him.

“How many people did you kill to get this water?”

“We didn’t count sir. But I guess 200, thereabouts…”

“And how long was the battle?”

“About 3 hours, sir!”

“You guys are MAD!”

“We know, sir!”

Shalom,

Haruna Daniels