It was a voice that taught her how to respond to her husband’s meanness
“don’t be a floor mat” it said
“Stop taking this nonsense from him”
At first, she didn’t know how
Her husband felt to her like a wrecking train
The type that can only hurt others but couldn’t be hurt
“What can she do?”
She stopped cooking for him
He didn’t even notice
She couldn’t believe it!
She told another voice
“Imagine this! I have not cooked for my husband for two weeks and he didn’t notice”
The voice couldn’t believe it
The voice said ‘That means he had been throwing away all the food you cooked for him in the past, or maybe he was giving the food to the security men at his office. If he had been eating your food every day, he would at least pay attention when such is not available!
She agreed with the voice
There seemed to be no other viable excuse
Another voice asked her if her husband was sleeping around, she said No!
"He will surely pay attention if you stop having sex with him!"
She moved out of their matrimonial bed!
Her husband didn’t say a word!
It hurt her deeply!
"How can someone be so selfish?"
A whole human being leaves your bed and you didn’t even give it a second thought?
Another voice said “He doesn’t love you at all, why stay in such a loveless marriage?!”
One day at the salon, a voice described how she stirred her husband to jealousy
The voice said “her man was always forming hard guy
So, she got herself a bestie
A guy she can talk to about anything and everything
Though she knew the guy may want to get under her skirt
It was all part of the game
It wouldn’t be real if the guy didn’t have any hope of hitting the spot
She was the one who knew she wouldn’t let him get there
The guy saw a free goalpost and wanted to play a penalty
She took the ball like a good goalkeeper and kept teasing him with it
Every evening from 10pm till 1am, the guy would be on the phone with her
It lasted for only a week before he husband blew up
She didn’t expect it
He accused her of cheating
She accused him of emotional abandonment
He swore she was a slut
She swore no other man had ever slept with her
He swore it was emotional cheating
She asked him what he had been doing with her own emotion
They reconciled inside each other
Nine months later she had a baby girl
He stopped toying with her emotions after then!”
She decided to try it out
If he shows a little jealousy, it means there is a little hope for their marriage
She bought an earpiece and started talking in amorous voice to an imaginary guy anytime her husband was at home
She would coo and schedule imaginary dates in her husband’s hearing
Her husband didn’t react
One day she went to work, returned home later in the evening only to discover the house was empty
Her two children and her husband had vanished!
At first, she thought they went to buy something or they went for a drive
By midnight she was halfway to crazy central
She called everybody she could call
Nobody knew their whereabouts
She could barely sleep all night
Early the next morning, she went to the police station
Her younger sister and some family members came to join her
They called and went everywhere they could think of
She went to her husband’s office
He had resigned!
She couldn’t believe what was happening
Not even for a second!
She ran to church
“Pastor, pastor, I am finished!”
She told her tale to the pastor
The Pastor was as dumbfounded as she was!
Where could her husband and three children disappear to?
All the clothes were at home
The other two cars were there
They disappeared with only one car and the clothes on their back!
It was while they were with the pastor that she received the call
Somebody from the international airport said a man told him to call her by 4pm
The car was at the airport’s parking lot!
The owner of the car had traveled abroad!
She ran to the police station
The police called the phone number
The caller was an airport staff member
They got to him
He explained that the man and his daughters boarded a flight the previous night and the man begged him to call a certain number by 4pm the next day so that the owner of the car can come and pick it!
That was all he knew!
Her husband left the key in the exhaust as usual
They opened the car, there was nothing in it indicating where they went
The policeman said the car was an evidence that needed to be taken to the station
She laughed and told him to go to blazes!
The policeman still wanted to exploit her situation
If the car got to their station, she would have to pay them something to get it back
She drove the car home
Suddenly the voices were silent!
Her brother, sister, friends, colleagues, strangers, parents and “loved ones”
The only voice she heard from then on was hers
Weeping, crying and gnashing her teeth in regret
It was the voices that thought him to be smarter than she was
He knew her type of woman
Needy, clingy, emotionally unstable, always trying to suck a man dry
She had always been like that but what she did the last time really broke the camel’s back
They finished making love and he slept off
She took offence
“That’s the problem with you men, you use someone to get your relief and off you go into dreamworld”
He was very stung by her words
She knew he was tired before she started touching him in sensitive places
He could have pushed her away!
He didn’t because she would be crying “You rejected me” the next morning
She managed to get it up and did his best to make sure she came before he came
How come he couldn’t sleep in peace again
Her words stung him so much he lost his sleep entirely
She needed to be reined in!
He made up his mind to express his displeasure to her about her words when he came back from work the next day
That very next day she refused to prepare his food
He couldn’t believe it
She offended him and she was still the one taking offence
Because he dared to “try” and sleep off after they made love, she started denying him food!
He got home that day and met her in a warlike posture
He wanted to talk before but her posture says “She was spoiling for a fight”
He went off to his room!
She stopped cooking for him from that day
He called her mother to report
Her mother sided with her daughter
“My daughter is what you have made her, if you treat her right, she would treat you right”
The shrill voice of her mother pierced his very soul
He spoke with his own mother
She told him not to give in to his wife’s manipulations
“Eat out” said her mother “After all you don’t eat so much”
He started eating out
All that while they were still on speaking terms
He was tired of the cold war and was willing to compromise when she moved out of their matrimonial bed
He couldn’t believe it!
Because he slept of after making love to her?!
She denied him food and now she had moved out of the bedroom?
A voice told him she was cheating on him!
“what was it she said again?”
(“That’s the problem with you “MEN”, you use someone to get your relief and off you go into dreamworld”)
He married her a virgin!
Who were the other men she was comparing him with?
Oh! That was why he was no longer able to satisfy her
That was why she felt he used her!
How could he be so stupid?
She had been sleeping around all along!
The realization hit him like atomic bomb on Nagasaki
He knew there could never be an alternative explanation
He thought about his children
Were they really his?
For how long had she been cheating?
He got their hair samples and sent it in for DNA test
The test results came in and the children were confirmed to be his
He felt guilty immediately
This nonsense cold war between the two of them must stop
It is breeding too much distrust and pain
Plus he spent quite a lot of money on the test
A lump sum he could have saved and put to better use if he hadn’t started listening to strange voices
He got home that day with the full intention of apologizing
Then his wife upped the game
She was always on the phone, talking to one guy or guys
Every night till very late,
Every dawn until he leaves for work
She was having an affair or affairs and she didn’t even have the decency to hide it
He thought about the whole thing
A voice said: Would you trust her to raise your daughters with her obvious moral deficiency?
She understood the issue
But what could he have done?
Then a voice reminded him his children were American citizens
He had American visa
He made the necessary arrangements
Resigned from his job
And took his daughters far away from her to protect them!
Who wouldn’t do the same thing in his shoes?
PS: It took four years to reunite this family
Four years of pain, bitterness, anger, malice, frustration, unforgiveness, mediation, travelling, counselling, compromise, oath swearing, depression, loneliness, sadness, darkness, dark thoughts, condemnations and eventually healing and understanding!
Stop piling grudges and hurt
Stop keeping account of each other’s wrongs
Stop trying so hard to see who would hurt each other the most
Stop listening to strange voices
Stop playing stupid pranks on each other
Stop being so sensitive
Stop insulting and demeaning each other
Stop accusing each other falsely
Forgive each other
Love each other
Never neglect the Holy Spirit in your personal walk with Him
With the Holy Spirit actively at work in your life
You'd be unable to live in unforgiveness for one minute